|I believe that most women have the ability to BF easily just like I did. I put 100% trust in my body to do what it needed to do *OR* for it to let me know when something was wrong. When I read other women's BFing horror stories some of the "problems" they had were things that happened to me as well only I did not view them as problems and I did what came naturally to me and carried on with my wonderful nursing relationship. I think so often the advice given by even well meaning/educated LCs just makes things worse because BFing is not one size fits all. I think getting in touch with your body and trusting your instincts is the most important aspect to successful BFing.
this might sound funny, but i'm retreating for the baby moon in order to avoid meddlin'.
my DH and I had a huge sit-down with my ILs a few weeks ago. during this sit-down, we talked about a lot of things: our move, our process in trying to secure a job in order to move, our process once we move to establish a home and new career for DH, my process in establishing a home and my work-life (finding balance in that), and our tenative goals for TTC.
i talked about when we would TTC, that we would HB, and that we were going to do a baby moon retreat. we also told them that we are going to AP.
the reason for this is that i realized almost immediately that my MIL or my mother would LOVE to visit the moment the baby was born (or be present) and that for me, that would be an absolute nightmare. Both women are rather high strung, my MIL more so, and my MIL is a negative, negative judgemental person.
She is well meaning, i understand this, but she's down-right meddlesome. she believes that there are ways that things "should be" done and any other way is "wrong" and makes you a "bad person" if you do them that way.
i realized that my hsuband and i are well read and emotionally prepared for many aspects of parenting--as well as becoming more responsible for ourselves and our finances to prepare us for this process. But, we also know that there is a 'practicum' to this knowledge called "actually having a baby" and that great sense of awe (and probably a bit of sublime-styled fear) when you hold that little person and go "now i have to figure out how to make sure i don't kill you or get you killed in the next 20 years!"
we want to lotus birth, to EC, to avoid circ. These are "bad" things to my MIL, as is AP ("i've heard that AP is really bad for kids!"--her direct response when told we were going to AP). well, i assume they are. i haven't told her about them.
i figure that i'd like that first month or 6 weeks with the baby to be time for DH and I--alone and unassisted/unhindered--to learn how to be parents and apply these things that we're learning about now and figure out what works for us (all three of us--him, me, baby!).
my MIL is not too happy. She moans and whines. All of her friends get to go to the hospital to watch the birth or they get to go and see the baby right after the c-section. they get to see their grandchildren right way--and help out (i read that as meddle).
and on top of that, since we are moving, my MIL said "well, if we can't come to see theb aby right away, then i guess you'll be bringing the baby to us, right?' and i said 'no, because we're not going to fly with the baby or do extensive travel for the first year at least, maybe more' and she said "but so-and-so's daughter flew to five different states with her week-old daughter to visit all the major relatives." and i said "too bad so-and-so raised an idiot.'
sometimes, i get caustic, i'm sorry. please forgive that. just, a new immune system, fed formula, on an airplane four or five times in a couple of weeks is just too much stupidity for me to keep m mouth shut. LOL
yeah, so, yeah.