Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
Can the UC mamas address the question of a first birth? Some of the commentary is about how you know how you react and respond in labor--not exactly something a first time mama knows.
I had a UC for my first birth. Originally, I was going to birth at the general hospital in SF. Each prenatal (lol, two total) was a drag. I was nauseous each time and had to wait forever in the crowded waiting rooms. I had read one pg book (Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy) and was pretty certain that labor was going to hurt a lot and that there was the 50/50 chance I'd want meds, but it was just something I was going to have to deal with. I tuned out the horror stories and was secretely addicted to A Baby Story, even though it had me anxious and at the edge of my seat each show full of tension. I decided that watching that show was not doing my soul any good but I was craving to see births and couldnt afford the dvds and stuff of natural or uncensored births. So...the addiction continued and I had this negative image of birth forming in the back of my mind.
I searched online for a place to chat about pregnancy and found MDC
I puttered around here through the various forums and my entire focus shifted. I was changing my lifestyle little by little. By 6 months, I came across the fiorum title "unassisted childbirth" and I was very intrigued. In the back of my mind something clicked, like "ooh! I want to do that!" but then immediately the negative thoughts took over. "but how? Is that possible? Legal? what about the pain, or if you want drugs? who will help me? No no no, this is my first birth and I dont know what birth is like. lovely thought, but nope, not for me."
I read through the forum and was amazed at all these women who birth in their homes, with no one there but their families! I read through various "what if" questions that others asked, and finally posted my first question. Here--> (asking if there were other mamas who had a UC for their 1st) http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=289803
(wow, that was interesting going back in time and reading what I wrote and realizing how much my views have evolved from uncertainty to confidence!)
So I kept reading, through websites, books and birth stories (the birth stories made me determined to have a UC, the websites info and books and the UC mamas here at MDC helped dispell my fears.
FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN is a key facor for first time mamas wanting/planning a UC and it took a lot to reprogram my preconceptions of birth enough that I was confident, excited, and certain that I'd plan and have a UC.
Reading about each complication, what causes it, how to prevent it, how to treat it, when to get help were very helpful *for me* (for others it might just instill more fear/anxiety). When I realized that most complications are cause by poor nutrition, high toxicity in mother's environment, family history, and of course, by unnecessary interventions, I calmed down a bit about "complications". I learned that a complication to one person was nothing to fuss over to another.
Once I dispelled most fears, I blocked out any outside negativity and kept reading positive UC stories, and then for awhile, I just stopped researching so that I could relax and focus on myself and the baby. Fears would come up here and there between dp or I (or having a conversation with a skeptic would spark something in me) and I'd do a little more research.
As a first time mama, I had to block out any comments about "not knowing what I was getting into" etc etc..."when you're in labor you'll change your mind" blah blah.
As my whole lifestyle was changing (eliminating household toxics, food toxics, etc, not letting the system control me, taking responsibility for all of my choices, etc) it was easier for me to stay firm in my decision.
Once I birthed, it was a huge sigh of relief, thankfulness, and joy in knowing that all subsequent births can be planned this way, and instead I can say "I did it last time, and will do it this time."
Birth story---> http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=338648