Rant over school

[kathymuggle]

DS was homeschooled to grade 3. In grade 3 and 4 he went to school half days. Yesterday was the first day of school. DS went for the morning, but announced he would prefer to try school in the afternoon today. Fine with us - we called the school to let the school know he was coming in the afternoon. The school went on and on to my husband about how he should go ALL day long - and that his language art skills (which are in the morning) are a concern. True, DS writing is not up to snuff - he is bright and he finds writing boring and wants to get it over with. He is still ahead of many children, but, perhaps, not where he should be. I do not think the school is any better equiped to help him than I , however.

I think I am because I feel at an impasse with the school - it is long story, but they are not intersted in my concerns, and I do not really hear theirs -either. I just can't help but feel: "They want to talk to me about full-time school and langiage arts, but will they listen to me when I say: do something about the bullying, why can't kids eat healthy food or go to the bathroom when their bodies dictate, and why are we not focusing on his strengths as well as his weak areas- example his strong math and reading (decoding)skills".

O.K. rant over. I realise I am not being mature about this, but I am frustrated!:

[kathymuggle]

Please note that there are no other schools around here, i doubt he would want to transfer anyways, this is a rural area.

Thanks for reading my rant

[lisalou]

Why is he going to school? I'm assuming you're still doing some homeschooling, correct? Otherwise you would send him the whole day? Teachers are usually happy to talk about strengths but they are also concerned with weaknesses and those are the areas that get worked on. At least for dh the only parents that ever show up on parent teacher conference days are the ones whose kids don't have any problems. No offense, I just don't see it as a problem that the school has identified a weakness and thinks it would be best for your son to be at school at a time that he can work on it.

As for the other things you have problems with then it's time to talk to other parents, etc. if you really want to change them. Bullying is more than just the school fixing it. Healthy food not sure how it works in Canada but here the contracts get signed for more than just a school by school basis. Vermont is a dairy state yet most of the milk served in schools come from outside of Vermont. But there are changes being made by parents working with schools for not only Vermont milk but healthy food, local food in fact. As for the bathroom breaks have you talked to the teacher rather than administrations? I would assume that's more of a class by class basis.

[boongirl]

It is probably hard for the teacher to think he/she can do a good job teaching your son if he is not in school all day. I know when I taught 4th and 5th grade, I connected a lot of instruction together. I also, a few years earlier, had a child who attended a half-week gifted program in the public schools and attended our private school the other half of the week. That was really hard on her. She loved the things she was doing in both classes but it was hard to miss half the activities and learning. Also, she was super bright but perpetually behind as she missed half the work. Not that I made her makeup the work, but when science and writing and reading are all connected and you miss half the lessons, it is hard to move forward with the other half.

Also, I think it sets a bad example for your child to pick and choose, from week to week, whether he wants to attend school half day or whole and which half. He needs to make a choice and commit to it, at least for more than one week. The teacher is probably very frustrated that she see areas where she could help him and he is not coming to school. I am all in favor of parents having a choice to homeschool their children but attending school is not a game. It is a job of sorts. Letting your child pick and choose to attend or not is basically enabling him to not respect school. What if he attends one afternoon and hears about a fun assignment that is mornings only? What if the teacher assumes he is not coming mornings but then he shows up and there are not materials for him as teacher assumed he was not coming? What if there is an afternoon assignment that sounds really hard and he just decides he does not want to do it so he is now going to come to school just mornings? Do you see what I am meaning? How are you going to get him to respect the teacher and the work in the classroom if you let him pick and choose whether to attend or not.

You need to make a committment to school and stick with it. If you want to homeschool full or part time, do it but if it is half time make a committment to send your ds to school always the same time period for the rest of the year. This way the teacher can do the best job possible teaching him because she will know for sure he is coming to school that half of the day and can count on him doing the work and being there. Children are too young to make decisions like this without parental guidance. The flip floping he is doing is disrespectful to the class and is just teaching him to avoid making a committment.

As for bullying and nutrition, these are societal issues. Humans have bullied each other since the dawn of time and they still do. Schools are working on the issue. As your principal and his teacher what they are doing. And, if you don't like the school food, send him to school with a homemade lunch. The bathroom issue is also an issue in most schools. If you want your child to be able to go pee whenever he wants it, talk to the principal about how to make this happen. Does he need a note from his doctor? Finally, the school is doubtless mentioning his weaknesses to you because they are trying to get him to attend school to work on these areas. They are not going to say "well he is strong in math so it is all right for him to skip those lessons this week." If you have some concerns, make an appointment with the teacher and talk about it.

[kathymuggle]

Thanks for your responses. In the past, he has gone only in the mornings. He does not get to pick and choose when he goes - he is enrolled part time (homeschooled during the other times). this year it may be he goes in the afternoon - he is trying it out today; we will pick by the end of the week whether is to go mornings or afternoons.

No, I do not really see a problem with them pointing out his weaknesses -.It should be worked on, and after I have had some time to think about it, I will talk to the school

I am frustrated because the school expects me to listen ( and ultimately decide what they say is right), but do not listen to my concerns. I feel it is unbalanced. I think this is the crux of the issue. I realise now that "the writing issue" isn't the the source of my rant (rather it was the catalyst for my frustration )

[wildmonkeys]

Sorry it isn't working out so well for you and your son though I do think it might be difficult for the other children to have somebody who got to decide to only come for part of the day. It might also be difficult for your son socially to be the only one who missed some funny event or activity that the other kids bonded over. I would probably keep homeschooling if he doesn't want to do the whole day.

BJ
Barney & Ben

[hippiemom]

I agree with boongirl. I think sending them part time is harder on everyone. For the teacher, b/c she needs to sort of connect him each day for the things he misses every day, and for your son for the same reason. I can understand why you might think pt school is better, but it can lead to inconsistencies that are hard for him to integrate.

[angelpie545]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Thanks for your responses. In the past, he has gone only in the mornings. He does not get to pick and choose when he goes - he is enrolled part time (homeschooled during the other times). this year it may be he goes in the afternoon - he is trying it out today; we will pick by the end of the week whether is to go mornings or afternoons.

No, I do not really see a problem with them pointing out his weaknesses -.It should be worked on, and after I have had some time to think about it, I will talk to the school

I am frustrated because the school expects me to listen ( and ultimately decide what they say is right), but do not listen to my concerns. I feel it is unbalanced. I think this is the crux of the issue. I realise now that "the writing issue" isn't the the source of my rant (rather it was the catalyst for my frustration )

Perhaps you could request a meeting with the principal and the teacher and discuss your concerns blunty but tactfully with them? That is personally what I would do. Schools nowadays really have a problem with listening to parents and it can be quite frustrating. Maybe you could bring a supportive person with you to the meeting so you won't feel all ganged up on. I think it is very important that the school understand your position and respect your feelings. Sometimes in a face to face meeting you can address your concerns better.

[kathymuggle]

Yes, I am feeling like I should go in and have a meeting. I have some unresolved issues, many from last year, (it is the very beiginning of our school year) and I do not want them to hamper the upcoming year. I do not want to blow off the handle at every little thing and I am in the state of mind where I could. I suspect they wil compromise on a few area, and not on others - in reality I do not think the school is a great fit for our family, but my son chooses to go there so what should I do??? There are no other schools around.:

For various reasons, I think I will bring a support person - the principal can be very my way or the highway, and is also very verbally dominant in a conversation......

[angelpie545]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Yes, I am feeling like I should go in and have a meeting. I have some unresolved issues, many from last year, (it is the very beiginning of our school year) and I do not want them to hamper the upcoming year. I do not want to blow off the handle at every little thing and I am in the state of mind where I could. I suspect they wil compromise on a few area, and not on others - in reality I do not think the school is a great fit for our family, but my son chooses to go there so what should I do??? There are no other schools around.:

For various reasons, I think I will bring a support person - the principal can be very my way or the highway, and is also very verbally dominant in a conversation......

Yes, being verbally dominant is one technique school officials sometimes use to get the upper hand when they don't agree with the parent. It is very rude and extremely childish in my opinion. I think that having a support person is an excellent idea.