Older siblings...particularly toddlers...

[mrs rockstar]

Those of you with other children (particularly toddlers) how is everyone handling things? I think my almost 21 month old is handling things well...she's a little whinier than usual, full of nos and wants to nurse whenever the baby does but it's definitely not as bad as I anticipated. And I'm pretty sure a lot of that is the almost turning 2 part.

So...how's it going??

[Sailmom]

My dd is 25 months. She is doing relatively well, I think. She, too is whinier than usual, and requesting to bf more often. I thought we were almost weaned until the baby came. I have set some limits with her as I just want to crawl out of my skin to nurse both at once. So I try to nurse her only when the baby is sleeping and use it as some mother/daughter time togehter. All in all, we are doing ok. I have been lucky to have good friends come over most mornings to spend time with us playing so she gets extra special attention.

[veganf]

The big brothers are generally fine. But I think preschool will be helpful. They really want more attention than I can give them right now, particularly Ryan. In addition to preschool 3 mornings a week, my husband decided to sign him up for soccer/basketball class at the Y one morning a week, which he loves. And I've been letting my mother take him for 3 hours in the afternoon a few times a week. He just really likes to be busy, and he loves adult attention.
A.J. is playing well by himself. He's sometimes too loud around Nate when he's sleeping, and sometimes doesn't see him and nearly sits on him if he's on the bed or the floor, but otherwise he doesn't seem to be too bothered by him.

[mamamilkers]

Iris is basically acting normally. She has asked to nurse a bit more, but understands when she can't. I just cant' stand that I don't really have one on one time with her anymore. Her dad comes by to take her to the park and do fun stuff with her, but I don't have that opportunity, yet. Pretty soon when Eloise can take a bottle I will have the chance to get out of the house with Iris.

[radiogirlgr]

Jack is 3 1/2 and has come a long way in the last 4 weeks... Right after Spencer came home, he REEEEALLLY had his nose out of joint. He was being almost frighteningly aggressive-not towards the baby but to me and DH. He was having periods of hitting, shouting, stomping around etc. that was really worrying me. A regular 'wrestling' time with DH would turn into him hitting, kicking, stomping on DH-he even bit him once! Regular discipline was not working-time outs and trips up to his room were just not having any effect. I started taking him out of the room and explaining to him why his behavior was unacceptable, and then asking him to apologize and take a few deep breaths before resuming his activity-whatever it was. That seemed to calm him down and get him back to a 'reasonable' state of mind. A couple times he was so out of control that we did resort to spanking, but that didn't seem to work either.... Well, both DH and I, along with the small army of aunts, uncles, and grandparents we have nearby, have taken extra care to pay extra attention to Jack. We've all been taking him places-just with him, as a special treat. He's really come so far, his behavior has calmed considerably. We still have our moments, but I second the PP and think that preschool (we start going twice a week tomorrow) will give him an outlet for some of his energy and provide some more much-needed structure. Our routine has been out the window since the baby came and I'm off work, so I think that adding the preschool will just be another step in the right direction. Jackson has made Spencer look like a breeze! LOL! Parenting is definitely a labor of love.

[libbylu]

my 1 1/2 yr old son I think has been doing well overall. Today was dh's first day back at both jobs and I was really impressed with myself and the boys for getting out of the house for a walk and even hanging up laundry without any break downs.

on the down side:
night waking when normally he sleeps through
REALLY hard time waking up sometimes
decreased appetite (not necessarily a bad thing; we're tandem nursing and he's crazy bout all this milk!)
extra needy and sensitive and fussy-always wants me playing right with him, wants me, not papa to put him to bed, sometimes nothing will do

on the plus side:
no aggression towards baby!
asks occaisionally to hold baby
volunteered a kiss for baby
super verbal--suddenly speaking in complete sentences
still loves nursing!

my lists don't really explain this very well; I feel like my older boy is a different kid than the one I knew--he seems so much older, so much harder to relate to. I knew this was coming, but it's disconcerting. I feel like I'm looking for the old him inside of there somewhere. I can see that this is hard for him, and don't really know how to best support him.

[ColoradoMama]

Amazingly Livvie is great. Aside from being a little more rambunctuous - you couldn't really tell anything has changed (except, of course, for the fact that she always wants to kiss Louis). We were a little concerned - especially when she wouldn't even come upstairs during or after the delivery. When my friend told her that the baby was being born she said, "No, he's not." Um, well - okay. My friend ended up carrying her upstairs and she immediately fell in love with her brother and was kissing him on the head. She has always liked being the baby, so we weren't sure how she would react to having a younger sibling. We have been pleasantly surprised. Of course, we are a pretty laid back family, so I think that helps some.

[mrs rockstar]

Originally Posted by libbylu

my 1 1/2 yr old son I think has been doing well overall. Today was dh's first day back at both jobs and I was really impressed with myself and the boys for getting out of the house for a walk and even hanging up laundry without any break downs.

on the down side:
night waking when normally he sleeps through
extra needy and sensitive and fussy-always wants me playing right with him, wants me, not papa to put him to bed, sometimes nothing will do

on the plus side:
no aggression towards baby!
asks occaisionally to hold baby
volunteered a kiss for baby
still loves nursing!

These are major things happening here too...the night waking and the only wanting me at night is getting pretty frustrating. Last night dd#2 only woke up once, sleeping two stretches of four solid hours each but I couldn't enjoy it because dd#1 was up!!! Argh!!! She's been sleeping through the night for about 8 months now reliably, so this is a yucky one for me. And dh is getting his feelings hurt because she won't let him soothe her at night. I keep telling him it's perfectly normal but ugh.

[boobyfeeder]

DD has been pretty good. She just turned two on August 4th. She has her moments, she has been using the word "no" a lot lately, and she gets insanely jealous when her Grammy is holding the baby (or her cousin, who is 4 months). Otherwise, she is very gentle with the baby, she gets me diapers and clothes for the baby. She has been asking to nurse more often, even though she was down to just before nap and bedtime. Luckily she is a daddy's girl, so if I am holding the baby during the day it's not as bad as if she was a mama's girl.

[Mama2 '05'06]

Dd is doing alot better than the first week or 2. She turned 14 months the day after ds was born so she's still rather a baby herself. She talks so much and her favorite word is "NO". That is still the biggest problem- she tells everyone 'no'. She didn't used to be scared of people in the store talking to her or people at church talking to her but now she cries and says no and clings to me. Most times even if dh is there she only wants me. I do feel myself loosing it when she gets into everything and drags it out all over AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I can't keep the house clean for anything! Oh well, the kids grow up but the housework stays forever. She does love her brother though. She comes and lays her head on him and says 'love' and is always trying to give him his pacifier and puts toys on him and says ' thankyou' as she does it. She was really impressed when I put him in the tub with her. she kept putting the wash cloth in his hand and saying thank you:

[peilover010202]

Owen (3yo) has been fantastic! He's very protective of his brother - which is good and bad. The first few weeks, he actually became aggressive with anyone who tried to hold Elliot (except dh and I.) Thankfully, we've mostly gotten past that by explaining to Owen that we need to "share" Elliot with other members of the family.

To my surprise, Owen made the transition very easily - much better than I expected.

Starting at about 2 weeks, dh and I decided that it was probably time for Owen to get back to daycare part-time, so he's going 2x week and even though he's sad to leave each morning - he has a blast playing with several kids his age. I think it also helped bring back a sense of normalcy for him too.

Later this month, our local Y starts swim classes for his age group, so we do plan on taking him there and that will be another fun thing for him to do.

[AmieV]

Abby has been doing great with her sister. Laughs at her, touches all her little body parts, gives her kisses and hugs. But you can definitely tell she's out of sorts. I just don't think she's old enough to make the connection that the baby is WHY her life has changed so much, and that's kind of nice. She also might be teething so that could explain some of her tantrums. My H is back at work half days this week and it really hasn't been so bad. She is content playing on her own in the living room while I nurse, and today I finally nursed in the sling which I never figured out with Abby. We've been going to all of her activities, playgroups, storytime, I took them to the grocery store...like a PP said, that sense of normalcy helps a lot as well as just getting out of the house. My H was home all last week and while that was great I think Abby's doing better now that he's gone some of the time and we're back in our routine. There is no substitute for mama!

[~PurityLake~]

Abigail was 15 months when Sophia was born. She is 100% absolutley in love with her little sister. She kisses her, hugs her, gives her food and a pacifier (rather tries to), tries to pick her up to hold her, pats her head gently, gazes lovingly into her eyes. Except for the moments when Abigail gazes at me, I've never seen such a look of love in her eyes other than when she looks at her little sister. She signs baby, points at her, says Sophia, knows her by name and by baby. She has even tried to 'help' me nurse Sophia, by pushing my breast toward Sophia. Abigail is cuddlier in general, wants my lap whenever I'm nursing Sophia. I just give her all the cuddles she wants and she is happy with that. When she is tired and crabby, she threw things at me and Sophia, and I told her no hitting, that hurts, would remove object, distract her with something else, and worst case, would have to nurse standing up. Abigial seems to be passing that phase, though.
I really am amazed at how wonderful Abigail is with her little sister, how loving and caring she is.