Help/Advice for a friend- Dr. ready to induce or c-section...

[Ell-Bell]

Hi All, I got an email this morning from a friend who has asked my advice several times through her pregnancy. She is a first time mom, and fairly "impressionable". I have told her not to be worried about being "overdue", that many moms- first time especially- go 2 weeks past her due date, and that she would be best not to think of that date. I also told her that normal gesttion is 38-42 weeks, so she needn't worry. However, it sounds like her Dr. is preparing her to need a c-section or induce. Below is her email. Do any of you have anyt words of wisdom? I told her a few weeks ago to start Evening Primrose Oil and deep squats. Any other advice (aside from getting a new Dr...I told her that long ago!)???

So I went to the doc today and I am 4 days past my "due date". She is worried I might need a c section because the baby has not engaged, I am not dilated, not effaced and there has been no change since last week. I REALLY dont want a c section (but want a healthy baby) so if you have any any any suggestions on how to get the baby to drop I would love anything you can find. I have been researching and so I plan to start that now but I have until Tuesday to get this going before she wants to discuss alternatives ie. induction and or c section. She really is supportive of me having a natural vaginal birth but she is also concerned my pelvic bones and hip bones are not spreading and that is why the baby cannot engage. The stupid part is that I am having contractions but becasue of whatever is going on inside the baby wont engage.HELP!

Advice???

[katt]

Sorry, I don't have any words of wisdom, but it doesn't sound like the Dr. is very supportive of a natural vaginal birth if she is already talking induction / c-section before she's even over-due.

[Pandora114]

tell her to smile and nod and not show up for the induction. They can't stick a needle in her arm unless she's there at the hospital right?

Nor can they cut her open either. Tell her to wait till labour and just smile and nod smile and nod.

[laohaire]

First, I would let her know that an induction will NOT work, the baby isn't ready to come yet so it will be completely ineffective. Therefore if she is induced, I bet you large sums of money she'll have a C/S (since they'll break her waters and then she'll be on the 24 hour clock, and no way is she going to have a baby that's not ready in 24 hours). One major concern of induction is that since the baby isn't in the position to be birthed, the baby won't be able to be born easily or well and cause distress.

So she should be aware to not compromise to induction since that's just a way that they can give her a C/S and make it so there is no other choice.

Next, I would tell her that she does not need to show up for any C/S they schedule. She needs to consent to it. Showing up is consenting. Not showing up is fine. (Though I would do the professional courtesy of telling them I wouldn't be showing up ahead of time ).

First time moms do tend to take longer to "bake" the baby.

She would risk many complications by agreeing to induction/surgery.

The best chance of a healthy baby is to not panic, not stress, just let the baby get ready. Major surgery with all its risks to mama and baby (who is not ready to be born yet) is not the best chance of a healthy baby

Pelvic dysmorphia is extremely rare, and yet is something OBs throw around all the time.

And, dropping can happen very suddenly. She doesn't have to drop well ahead of time.

[laohaire]

Also, have her put the burden on the OB to explain exactly what the fear of gestating within normal parameters is, and take notes and ask any questions about anything that isn't clear. I'm sure the OB will list all sorts of silly things, and then we can help you guys research and see why they are silly.

[Marlet]

for your friend.

I agree with a PP. Let her know inductions DO NOT work unless the baby is ready to come out. My mom was induced 4 times with my sister. None of them worked. But my mom was made to sit there through all the contractions. My sister finally came out on her own a week or two after the last induction. They don't work if your body is not ready!

[velcromom]

here is some info she might find helpful:

http://www.hencigoer.com/articles/elective_induction/

http://plus-size-pregnancy.org/figuring.htm

[elanorh]

Great information/research so far - I hope it helps her!

In terms of baby dropping, my information is 100% anecdotal - just what happened to me with Ina (FTM) -- when I went into labor, naturally, at home - she still hadn't dropped/engaged. There were NO interventions during my labor (no pit, no pain meds, etc.) - she didn't drop and engage until we were pretty much at 9 cm or so. And we delivered just fine (she was also sunny side up 'til then, so maybe that's why she hadn't engaged?).

I think this mom should hold firm about waiting and not inducing, especially if she doesn't want a csection. No signs of infant distress, after all, so why worry, especially since she's within the "normal" range for delivery anyway ---?

[jenmamahen]

I remember reading somewhere recently that the "average" length of gestation now is close to 41 weeks. If that's average, obviously there are lots of babies being born long after that point with no ill effects. My first baby was born at 41 weeks 6 days, my next at 41 weeks 5 days. Both perfectly healthy, natural births.
Tell your friend to be strong and stand up for what she wants. This is HER birth, not her ob's.

[amygoforth]

((hugs to your friend)) I know this must be hard for her, and scary.

FWIW, neither of my babies "engaged" until labor time.

[Emilie]

so so so sad.

This is what women should expect at a hospital though...imo. The doctor is putting so many doubts in her head on her bodies ability to birth. The doctor is NOT supportive-0 nor knows much about "natural" childbirth if she is putting this woman through this.
This should be a joyous time and here she is putting fear into her.

[SammyLucasNHarper]

Coming in late here (sorry!)

My DS didnt drop or engage until after I was 10cm and ready to start pushing! I had to "labor down" for like an hour and a half after I reached 10cm just waiting for him to engage.

I went into labor on my own not a problem at 40w4d.

DD didnt drop either. I was induced with her....and I didnt progress at all the entire day. I know they were starting to think "c section" when all the sudden she engaged and I went from 5-10cm in like 15 min.

This time around. The baby has dropped a little...but I dont think hes engaged yet. But I will NOT be going for an induction.

[gentlebirthmothr]

Originally Posted by laohaire

First, I would let her know that an induction will NOT work, the baby isn't ready to come yet so it will be completely ineffective. Therefore if she is induced, I bet you large sums of money she'll have a C/S (since they'll break her waters and then she'll be on the 24 hour clock, and no way is she going to have a baby that's not ready in 24 hours). One major concern of induction is that since the baby isn't in the position to be birthed, the baby won't be able to be born easily or well and cause distress.

So she should be aware to not compromise to induction since that's just a way that they can give her a C/S and make it so there is no other choice.

Next, I would tell her that she does not need to show up for any C/S they schedule. She needs to consent to it. Showing up is consenting. Not showing up is fine. (Though I would do the professional courtesy of telling them I wouldn't be showing up ahead of time ).

First time moms do tend to take longer to "bake" the baby.

She would risk many complications by agreeing to induction/surgery.

The best chance of a healthy baby is to not panic, not stress, just let the baby get ready. Major surgery with all its risks to mama and baby (who is not ready to be born yet) is not the best chance of a healthy baby

Pelvic dysmorphia is extremely rare, and yet is something OBs throw around all the time.

And, dropping can happen very suddenly. She doesn't have to drop well ahead of time.

Also, have her put the burden on the OB to explain exactly what the fear of gestating within normal parameters is, and take notes and ask any questions about anything that isn't clear. I'm sure the OB will list all sorts of silly things, and then we can help you guys research and see why they are silly.

Ellie,

, to what laohaire said to you. Also, I recommed It Could Happen to You: A Diary of Pregnancy, Birth (induction) and Beyond, Martha Brockengrough, so that you and your friend can read it. Hope all goes well with your friend.

[DocsNemesis]

Ok, I have had 4 babies-FOUR!-and NONE of them has engaged prior to me actually pushing their big butts out of there! I mean literally....with my first two, I got to 10cm, but I was still -3 station, they didnt engage at all until I started pushing them down. With my 3rd I was at -2 station at 10cm. With my 4th...I dunno, the midwives almost didnt make it, so I was never checked. I know she was still high too, but maybe not quite so high? I'm really unsure.
With my last baby, I could tell she wasnt in a great position, she was still off to the side, so I got on my hands and knees and let my belly hang. I got myself nice and relaxed and then started moving her around with my hand. I basically flipped her to the opposite side since I knew she wouldnt stay there anyway, and then kept moving around, trying to get her head in a better spot. Then I got up and walked for a bit, and then lay down. As soon as I lay down I felt her flip back to her favorite side (the left side, typical), but when I felt for her head it was in a much better position. The next morning I did EPO (3 by mouth and 3 up the cooch ) and that evening my water broke and I was already dilated to 7cm. I'm not saying that works for everyone but....I have done EPO with the last three and it has worked great. I also had my membranes stripped a few times with the 2nd and 3rd and it put me into labor the next day. Also, sex is generally concidered a great labor helper.