Normal for dance classes?

[Peony]

I never took any type of classes or lessons as a child so I'm completely clueless when it comes to it. DD is 3.5 years old, and hasn't been in any activities yet. I haven't felt the need, but the neighbor girl is taking a dance class and that is all dd has been talking about. She keeps begging me to put her in one. I called around this am, I'm in a rural area so I don't have much selection. The studio I talked to will allow no observation, not even to see if this is the type of class I want to put dd in, I can't even stay in another part of the building, it's literally sit in my car or leave. The studio is 20 miles away in another town and a little ways out of that town, so I know I'd be sittting in my car, not exactly what I'm going to wait to do this winter in the cold with a new baby. I guess I'm just worried because dd has never been left with strangers, no gym daycare, abolsutely nothing. She said she'd be fine as long as she was in the same class as the neighbor girl and I'm sure that she probably would be. I wouldn't want to be hovering over her, but I find it weird that I can't even watch the woman who I'm entrusting dd to for an hour once a week once.Is this normal for dance classes?

[Joannarachel]

Absolutely not normal. I wouldn't touch a place like that with a 10 foot pole.

[papercranegirl]

Our studio won't let you be in the class but there is a separate waiting area for parents. Maybe they don't have a separate space? I think it's fairly normal for the kids to be on their own so that they can concentrate on what the teachers are saying instead of responding to mom or dad's input. I think it's a way to head off problems by showbiz type parents before they start. At least that's always been my assumption. Perhaps someone with more experience can comment on this.

[oldcrunchymom]

My daughter is in her 6th year of dance and that doesn't sound normal to me. Some studios don't want parents inside the classroom watching (for separation/easier kid control reasons) but I've never heard of a studio that won't let you try a class before signing up. Also, even studios who don't want parents watching usually have observation windows they will open occasionally or "observation days." And I've never heard of parents not being able to stay in the building! Honestly, I wouldn't put my daughter in that studio. They sound almost secretive about what they're doing with the kids.

[twilight girl]

Not normal for our dance class. Granted we're in Costa Rica, but, the parents all stay. The studio has glass doors and we all stay and watch them. It has not proven a distraction to the girls AT ALL. I would not take DD to a place that did not allow me to stay and observe.

[darkpear]

The place we use isn't a dance studio per se, but an 'activity center' place with classes in dance, karate, gymnastics, cheer, science, art, and other stuff. They require parents to stay on the premises while the kids are in class until age 5 or 6; we aren't in the classroom with dd but can watch through the door. There's also a parents' lounge which is next to the dance rooms but out of sight. I like it because dd has space to do her thing and learn without distraction, but we're right there in case we're needed... I totally would NOT send my kids to a place that didn't even allow observation. Big red flag IMO.

[aywilkes]

My son is in dance classes and parents are not allowed to watch in or out of the class. of course some parents just HAVE to stand in the halls - total fire hazard- and watch anyway even though there is an observation day at the end of every semester. I do think it is kind of weird that you can't stay in the building and I was trying to imagine this building but the only image is a deserted school with painted, concrete walls and long hallways. I could see parents not staing in the building if it is anything like my son's school where there are so many parents hovering that they block doors. I don't understand why you can't observe a class before signing her up or at least letting her sit in class once to see how she likes it. Maybe ask them about why they have a no parent in the building philosophy. Also, if it is a sparsely populated area, maybe they don't know that they should allow a test class for free. I live in the metro dc area and there is lots of competition for dance studios so it is assumed and widely advertised that a free sit-in class is offered.

[aywilkes]

Originally Posted by darkpear

I totally would NOT send my kids to a place that didn't even allow observation. Big red flag IMO.

I don't think it is that big of a deal to not be able to observe your kid in a dance class. Not allowing everyone to observe could also be a safety precaution (this might sound farfetched but not in today's world) when there are pedophiles lurking everyowhere and I could see how a parent of girls wouldn't want men observing their children dancing. I think the red flag is the not being allowed in the building thing. I mean that is kind of crazy but the place where my son attends and doesn't allow observation is well-known, has a great reputation and his teacher is wonderful. Sure, I'd like to see what he's doing sometimes, but as a parent who just can't stay out of things - it is probably BEST for me to not observe because I have a tendency to co-teach. Even if it is something that I know nothing about - like dance and basketball and capoeira. I know i have annoyed some of the teachers of these extra activity classes where I can watch before but they are always polite.

[angelpie545]

I did dance for years, even performed with the Pacific Northwest Ballet in the Nutcracker, and this is NOT normal at all. When I danced at the Francia Russel center, which is the eastisde school of the PNB, their was a place for parents to sit and they could go and peek into the class. They weren't allowed to sit in the class while their child was in it to minimize distractions, but they certainly were allowed to observe outside the class. The Pacific Northwest Ballet is known nation wide and highly regarded as one of th best professional dance companies in the area-and they are VERY parent friendly. The teachers are always there to talk with the parents and adress any concerns. It doesn't make sense to me that a studio would be like that at all. It sends up red flags to me. Before you buy a product, you have to see it and test it out, right? The same goes for sports/dance/martial arts/any athletic activity you elect to have taught to your child. You need to know that they money you invest is going to be worth it and a good outcome is going to result.

When I was older and decided that the professional ballet school as getting to be too much for me and I wanted a lower pressure enviroment, I elected to dance at a smaller, still very professionaly run ballet school. There, they even had a window with chairs so the parents could watch the classes. They were very family friendly and encouraged parents to participate with the very young students, as young as 2 in some cases. They were all so cute!

[Softheart]

I have such a problem with this! We only do one dance class and love it because parents are welcomed to view and even participate!

[Mallori]

At 3.5 years old, I would not put my daughter in the hands of people I don't know who will not allow me to see what she's doing, whether that's normal or not for dance classes. Period.

[aywilkes]

Would you be okay with it if your child was 6? When my son was in his first class - age 4 - I could watch, but I was typically unable to see because all of the other parents with their heads in the way - also frustrating to me.

And the reality is that unless you are a SAHM who homeschools, our children are at risk or will be for something to happen because we don't really KNOW the people who take care of them. Be it a NAYEC accredited, top notch daycare/preschool or the teachers at their elementary school. My guess is that toddlers' parents have to be around at dance schools because they may need help with getting to teh bathroom and are not mature enough to not have their parents within reach at a moment's notice. =

[hrutledge]

I agree that this is not normal. We are not allowed in the asme room as dance lessons because the teacher said it distracts the kids. However, there is a waiting room right beside the studio.

[warriorprincess]

My kids' dance school only allows observation once a month, but they do have a waiting room.

[Zilla]

Originally Posted by Mallori

At 3.5 years old, I would not put my daughter in the hands of people I don't know who will not allow me to see what she's doing, whether that's normal or not for dance classes. Period.

I completely agree. I've looked at some dance schools for my DSD and have never seen this sort of arrangement. There are always at least windows to look through from a lobby area or something. If she wants to da dance, they make some great videos for kids that age.

[twilight girl]

Originally Posted by aywilkes

I don't think it is that big of a deal to not be able to observe your kid in a dance class. Not allowing everyone to observe could also be a safety precaution (this might sound farfetched but not in today's world) when there are pedophiles lurking everyowhere and I could see how a parent of girls wouldn't want men observing their children dancing.

I think that's reaching quite a bit for a reason. That's one of the reasons that I would demand to be able to observe. The only place I drop DD off and leave is pre-school. For a one-hour dance lesson, I'm there, either watching or reading, or whatever. In fact, one reason that I'm not switching dance schools is because the other one doesn't not have adequate space for parents to sit and watch.

[ILuvMyBaby]

that is normal around here. i am a dance teacher and we do not have two way mirrors at our studio yet. when we keep the windows opened the kids are watching their parents the whole time ... or even worse... the parents are banging on the windows getting their children's attention. honestly, i would love to watch if my child was involved, but i understand why they keep the windows closed except once a month.

[Peony]

Thanks for all the responses. I was not comfortable with this situation at all. I called around some more and finally got the number of a smaller dance place that encourages the parents of 3 year olds to stay. They have a waiting room with doors that open into the studio, they leave the doors open for several weeks until the dc get used to the teacher and then close them but still would like the parents to wait in the waiting room and not leave. I talked with the instructor, she has a newly 4 year old, so she knows how 3 year old are, I got a really good vibe from her. Thanks again.

[aywilkes]

Originally Posted by AMB8301

Thanks for all the responses. I was not comfortable with this situation at all. I called around some more and finally got the number of a smaller dance place that encourages the parents of 3 year olds to stay. They have a waiting room with doors that open into the studio, they leave the doors open for several weeks until the dc get used to the teacher and then close them but still would like the parents to wait in the waiting room and not leave. I talked with the instructor, she has a newly 4 year old, so she knows how 3 year old are, I got a really good vibe from her. Thanks again.

Good for you! I'm glad you found a more parent-friendly place where you'll both feel great!

[twilight girl]

Originally Posted by ILuvMyBaby

that is normal around here. i am a dance teacher and we do not have two way mirrors at our studio yet. when we keep the windows opened the kids are watching their parents the whole time ... or even worse... the parents are banging on the windows getting their children's attention. honestly, i would love to watch if my child was involved, but i understand why they keep the windows closed except once a month.

Weird, that is not an issue at all here. The girls are not distracted by the presence of the moms, and the moms don't interfere with class.