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If one more person....

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 
Every time I share what I consider the miraculous news that I am expecting twins (share with people in 'real life', not here on MDC, where everyone is lovely and supportive....)... they look me up and down and say something to the effect of "you're never going to be able to carry them full term!".

I'm pissed off. I mean, I know I'm a fairly small woman... but come on! I'm not THAT small, and I have faith that with nurturance, my five foot five, 120 pound body will do whatever it needs to do to take these babies to term. After all, my second son weighed in at 10 pounds, and there were no problems there! I am also a very healthy person... I eat well for the most part and I exercise several times a week.

But so far numerous people (including my own mother and my MIL) have openly expressed their lack of faith in my ability to carry these twins.

Is it just me or is that outrageously rude? I don't think anyone would ever dare predict a singleton baby being born prem, so what makes it ok to make such a sad prediction for my twins?

Anyways, I'm just ranting here. Thanks for listening.
post #2 of 31
I think that is absolutely shocking and RUDE!
post #3 of 31
Thread Starter 
Thank you! It's good to know I'm not just being a crazy hormonal pregnant woman and overreacting. Phew.
post #4 of 31
Quote:
I don't think anyone would ever dare predict a singleton baby being born prem, so what makes it ok to make such a sad prediction for my twins?
Yes they will. Rudeness knows no bounds. I heard it countless times especially toward the end when I was REALLY BIG (because I am so short). And I have no idea why - did they think I was literally going to explode? Or what? I have NO IDEA, but the comments got old very quickly, and yes, it is very rude for people to say stuff like that. I got so tired of hearing "You'll never make it!" Like my baby was going to suffer just because his mother happened to be short. You keep believing in yourself and don't listen to nay-sayers!!!
post #5 of 31
I'm a lurker on the multiples board lol (was preggy w/twins before and lost 1 to VTS and can't seem to get them off my mind)..but anyway, no, its not you, they ARE being VERY rude. People always seem to be negative about pregnancy in general, especially a multiple pregnancy. I can't remember what forum I was on but one chick said she was going somewhere with her twin toddler daughters and some woman said "Better you than me!" WTF? I think multiples are TWICE the blessing,joy, laughs, hugs and kisses. Why are people so negative? My friend carried twins to term. She had a scheduled c section on week 37 and she did NOT have ANY problems what so ever.
I just got off the phone with my mom. She brought up future pregnancies to me (my last baby was stillborn a few months ago to uterine rupture) and while I'm optimistic and positive, I get sick of hearing her say "Well, I know a woman at work whose baby ...." Its looking like she won't be supportive the next time I get pregnant.
My advice to you is to surround yourself by POSITIVE people. If someone says something negative, tell them you won't discuss the details of your pregnancy with people who have no faith in your pregnancy. During my next pregnancy, thats EXACTLY what I'm gonna tell everyone FROM the start. If you want to be negative and think the worst, tell someone else, not me, because I won't listen to it. You are pregnant and shouldn't have to be stressed over people's negative reactions. Congrats on your twins, you and everyone on here is lucky to have been twice blessed!
post #6 of 31
I've met plenty of women who were your size and able to carry their twins just fine. People said that to me too, and I'm 5'9 and 225. : I also get the "better you than me" comment. I personally agree with them. I also hear "Oh, you poor thing!" quite often. Its very irritating. When you have twins you get a lot of comments. I wasn't really prepared for that aspect of multiple mommyhood.
post #7 of 31
Anyone who give a snide comment of you being too small to carry full-term, you can always comment 'You'd be amazed what a woman's body can do!'

I am 5'2 and carried to 38w1d, to a 6lb 2oz girl and a 8lb 6oz boy!

They can stuff it.
post #8 of 31
Tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. I am 5'2 weight 100-105 pre preg and carried my boys to 37w6d . I worked full time up till around 32 to 33 weeks before my doc put me on bed rest but I was working crazy hours between 60-80week. You can do it!!! If I had a dollar for every person that said I couldnt do it I would be a rich woman I got to the point when anyone would tell me that I would never carry them to term. Oh so you personal experience with this or Oh I didn't relize you went to medical school how's that working out for you? They would usually shut up and backpeddle at that point.
post #9 of 31
Unfortunatley the rudeness doesn't stop after they are born either. I have gotten a couple,"I would kill myself if I got knocked up with twins. . ." comments. Ummm, my kids are listening to you rant.

My OB told me my twins would be this. . . and that. . . I told him they would be over 7 lbs and he choked on his coffee. They were both 7 1/2 lbs. You can do anything you set your mind to.
post #10 of 31
I'd be tempted to ask something ridiculous like, "oh good! I've been meaning to ask if you'll do the last few weeks for me" or something. Or at least, "Where did you get your medical degree? My doctor disagrees with you, and I don't feel I can honor a second opinion without seeing some credentials." (I realize I'm making a leap in assuming that because you're carrying twins, you're seeing a doctor. Only doctors in my state are legally permitted to attend twin births, to the best of my knowledge.)

Some people just say stupid or annoying things because they're trying to make conversation. This is a bit beyond that, but I thought I'd mention it.
post #11 of 31
Oh- --- welcome to the world of thoughtless comments. I am a CNM and recieved several random comments from old co-workers (mostly nurses and resident physicians). One resident actually asked me why I would see a midwife. Scarry how doctors are trained-- that is another vent for another day.

Anyhow, take care of yourself, get tons of rest, eat healthy and ask people before they continue with their comment/story, "is this a positive comment, or negative comment??" Then they will get the hint.

And then.... after the birth, get ready for the next set of comments...."double trouble, your hands are full, are your b/g twins identical, etc.....
post #12 of 31
sadly, yes, the comments just keep coming...

And as to their predictions. It's completely wrong. I'm 5'2" 130 pounds (pre preg) and carried my boys to 39 weeks. One was 6 lb14 oz, the other was 6 lb 4 oz. You can do it. Take it as more a reflection of the person giving it than on you. Hugs.
post #13 of 31
My last two clients with twins held on to those babies until term. One was about 5'4 and 105 lbs prepregnancy (both babies around 6 lbs like her others) and the other client went to almost 41 weeks and hers were 7 and 8 lbs. She was a small woman also, about 5'3 or 5'4 and 115 lbs pre-pregnancy.
post #14 of 31
I'm 5'1" and started at 135lbs. I am 34 weeks today, and yesterday my doc was very positive about going all the way to 38 weeks. As long as my BP and sugar are under control, Mr Nice DR. is going to make everyone else keep their nasty knives to themselves. I would go longer if I could, but I have GD, and my sugars are getting harder to control. I am going to be living off of cottage cheese and almonds and water by 38 weeks if things stay the way they are. Just try to ignore the rude idiots. Have confidence in yourself, because you can do it.
post #15 of 31
Thread Starter 
Thank you everybody! I feel so fortified by all your strong words. Next time someone lays their negativity on me concerning my twins, I'll be sure to let them have it!
post #16 of 31
I am small too and had my confidence squashed at one point (I am 28 wks now) but because of the reassurance of the MOMs here my determination was restored. I also learned some great come-backs that have left people blinking and embarrassed! Congratulations, you can do it!
post #17 of 31
Yesterday I got the BEST COMPLIMENT! Both my OB and the nurses at my NST told me how fabulous I look, and how great the boys are doing! In fact they are no longer pushing for delivery at 36 weeks! Now they are talking 38 1/2 weeks! How cool is that. I have just gained 2-3 more weeks of pregnancy without having to worry about a c/s. I am 34 weeks and the NST nurse thought I looked better than most of their twin moms with no swelling, no BP issues and no real lingering pains or aches. I think the folks at the hospital are more supportive than some of my FAMILY. In fact they tell me to tell everyone else to go stuff it! Since I see them 3 times a week now, I guess that's a good thing.
post #18 of 31
Thread Starter 
Mamajody, how very fabulous! Good for you!
I am thrilled to hear everybody's 'success story'. I am feeling fully prepared to take these babies right to the end. I even had a light jog last night.... gotta get my exercise while its still comfy to do so.
post #19 of 31
I've definitely heard plenty of those same comments, and they are actually getting more and more rediculous by the day. I am 5'5" and started out at around 135lbs prepreggo. I am now in my 37th week, and although I personally feel very ready to meet my munchkins, I just dont feel that they will be coming out for another week or two. Yes, my feet are swollen and I have been getting more discomforts b/c of my size, but I am not having any signs of labor yet (only very very random and pretty much unnoticeable BHs), I'm not on bed rest, and am otherwise doing great. There is absolutely no reason why YOU wont make it to term!!! Just set your mind to what you want to achieve and dont even pay attention to the negativity coming from other people
post #20 of 31
I'm so sorry you are getting the rude comments already. And yes, your body can carry those babies full term! Being skinny or fat is not an indicator of what your body can do. It is how you take care of yourself during your pregnancy and believing in your body's ability to nourish those babies. I am only 5'4" and carried my babies to 40 weeks 1 day and they were 6 lbs 10 oz and 8 lbs 4 oz. My last 4 weeks of pregnancy people were incredibly rude (mainly my inlaws). It got so bad I would dread seeing them because I did not want to hear anymore "you cannot possibly get any bigger, you are HUGE" or "don't you want those babies out, you are just so big, 36 weeks is good enough." Blah blah blah! You just have to tune out all that negativity and think and speak positively about how you want your pregnancy to be.
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