Originally Posted by cmlp
Regarding "tricking" one's partner into getting pregnant, I would like to point out that the OP stated that her DH used the withdrawal method. Come on! Your DH does not want another child? Fine. He should put on a condom or get a vasectamy. But for god's sake, don't insult your wife by withdrawing early from the act so that she has to see your semen everywhere other than where she would like it to be. That's just a slap in the face to your wife who you know wants a child. It is hurtful and cruel and I got no sympathy for a man who does that and ends up getting his wife pregnant, however it happens!
Which leads me to my second point: who is anyone to say in this situation that the male partner has been "tricked" or "deceived"? Everyone knows that withdrawal is NOT a 100% effective method of birth control. Who are we to say how a woman got pregnant? Because some escaped while in the act? Because some escaped just outside her opening? Because she reinserted with her fingers? You are a man and you don't want more kids, GET SOME REAL BIRTH CONTROL and stop blaming your wife for tricking you because she wants kids and you had the gall to leave your semen all over the place instead taking responsible steps to prevent pregnancy. You don't want kids? YOU prevent it. Period.
And to the poster who wrote the sanctimonious post stating how could any woman possibly "oops" her husband when he did not want another child, it seems to me that you had your tubal ligation for YOUR OWN reasons and not just because YOUR HUSBAND told you to do it. If someone's husband does not want kids and she does, HE SHOULD BE THE ONE TAKING THE APPROPRIATE AND VIRTUALLY SUREFIRE STEPS TO PREVENT IT. There is no question of "oopsing" anyone when we are talking about withdrawal, as it is nowhere near being a surefire method of preventing pregnancy in the first place.
First of all, I did NOT direct my post at the OP. Not even close. I never said she would "oops" him. I never said she
would try to deceive or trick him.
I actually AGREE
with you. If a man does not want more kids, HE should get the big "V" or use a condom or something. Withdrawl is NOT effective, as we all know. I also agree that a guy who says "no more kids", yet is not doing anything to try to prevent, is playing some kind of game and it is cruel.
I was referring to posts suggesting scooping semen and inseminating one's self, and those who pretend to take their B/C, and don't, thereby the "oops" happens. It DOES happen. Men do it too. I knew someone whose husband messed with her B/C Pills. Women have been known to poke holes in condoms and diaphragms. It happens.
Call me "sanctimonious" or whatever. I don't care how you judge me. But, I am not going to back down from my position. If anyone, male OR female
, basically forces their partner into another child by sabotaging B/C, or whatever, it is WRONG. It is deceitful, and could mean the end of the relationship, in some cases.
Oh, and BTW, I DID state that I realize that some of the posts were not meant to be serious, AND that this is a place to vent. If you want to get down to it, I was venting as well. I also believe I explained how I know what it is like to want a child and not be able to have one.
I feel terribly for people who struggle with this problem. And I hope some compromise or resolution can come about, so they can get some peace.To the OP: I hope things work out the way you want them to. Perhaps he will come around and welcome a new addition with open arms. At any rate, I hope you find peace with your situation.