homebirth and vaginal exams

[huggerwocky]

I've read many birth stories of homebirths were vaginal exams were performed for no apparent reason that I could see. Is that really so common ? Am I naive for totally expecting to NOT have one during my birth? What's up with that?

[teachinmaof3]

I had a few only becuase I wanted them.

[bobandjess99]

I had quite a few during my UC....performed by me, LOL!

I found it cool to feel dilation.
As for someone else performing them.....eeeewwww
Can't imagine.

I think it's a combination of reasons.....some midwives do them as a matter of routine...some women want them...a lot of people i think do them just because it's so ingrained that "that's what you do".

I'd personally not use any provider who "required" checks.....

[Red Sonja]

My MW asked if she could check me when she got to my house and I was curious about how far along I was so I agreed. I waited for the next contraction to pass and got out of the tub but started to push before she could check me. That was fine with me.

It was up to me whether I wanted to have it done or not.

[indignantgirl]

All the midwives I've talked to will do them by the mother's request or if the midwife feels there is a problem. My midwife has never offered, nor would she push me about it if she was ever at my births (I prefer to UC).

[lovemysunshine]

I only had one and it was near the end. I *knew* I was in transition and having the "I can't do this much longer" thoughts. The mw asked me if I wanted her to examine me, no pressure at all, just if I felt I needed it. I did want to know because even though I knew I was in transition I was afraid I was only 3 cm. She checked me and I was complete. I didn't push him out for another 2 hours though!

I don't think you're unreasonable to expect no vaginal exams during labor or pg. Especially if you voice that desire to the mw. I never even said anything to her, it's just the way she works I guess.

[Isaac'sMa]

I think it's totally reasonable to expect NOT to have a VE unless there are complications....for example...
My MW doesn't do VE after the bag of waters has broken as a general rule. I however, did get a VE b/c labor seemed to be stalled out. My cervix had an anterior lip (discovered on VE with my permission) and after many hours (and herbs and homeopathy) she did another VE, determined the lip was still there and the manually pushed it over baby's head during the next contraction. His heart rate was dropping at that point, so I was glad that she had the skills to palpate the anterior lip and work with my contractions to push it out of the way. For sure if I'd been in the hospital, they'd have done way more VEs, diagnosed "failure to progress" and sliced my baby right outta me! So happy to have a MW!

So, reasonable not to expect it, but they're not always a bad thing!

[Emilie]

My mw asked if I wanted her to do one when she arrived-- I first said no- then said yes- I was 5 cm dialated. Then I started freaking about transition and she said do you want me to check you and I said yes- she did and I was already complete. I did not get out of the pool at all- the first time I just arched my back up with my legs over the side I believe, If there is a next time I will most likely NOT have any-0 but I am not upset about the ones I did have.
wITH my hospital birth the nurses came in every hour to check and while I had the epidural it hurt soooo bad and I kept asking them to stop.

[Lakshmi]

I didn't have one early on in labor with my first dd, but I wish I had, because the mw made a huge error in guessing how far dilated I was - she figured I was at 8 or 9 cm after a few hours of early labor??? If you'd asked me (which she didn't) how far dilated I thought I was, I'd have said maybe 3. Turns out I was right - but we didn't find that out till the next day when she finally said maybe she should check and see. Then she was completely thrown off by having been so wrong - so the rest of the labor I felt rushed and like I should be dilating faster (actually, a number of times she said stuff to me about she couldn't understand why it was taking so long, which was oh so helpful!), and like there was some rush to get fully dilated.

In retrospect, it would've worked better for HER if she'd done the exam when she first got there, since her guess was so way off - and because she was so sure that her guess was right. I think her confidence was really blown after she found out she was so off, and she just couldn't pull it back together after that. I don't think vaginal exams are necessary, UNLESS the care provider is going to base everything they do on how far dilated they're guessing you are. I know there are supposed to be lots of other signs for guessing how far someone is dilated, but obviously, she missed them, and it really caused problems for me. It was a really miserable experience!

[Rockies5]

I've *NEVER* had a VE at a homebirth, but that was understood well before birth.

I asked my mw about that and she tells me MOST women expect and even ask for them.

[StrawberryFields]

I had them, the midwife asked if it was ok. If I had said no I'm sure she would have been fine with it but I didn't care so I said sure.

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by Emilie

wITH my hospital birth the nurses came in every hour to check and while I had the epidural it hurt soooo bad and I kept asking them to stop.

I remember that from my hospital birth,too...horrible!

[huggerwocky]

Originally Posted by StrawberryFields

I had them, the midwife asked if it was ok. If I had said no I'm sure she would have been fine with it but I didn't care so I said sure.

But what was she hoping to find?

[mamafish9]

I had a birth center birth last time around, but I did my own (2 or 3 of them) while laboring at home - as a first time mama, it gave me good information (and feeling dilation is cool!). Since my ctx never got closer than 10 minutes apart, I probably would have unexpectedly had the baby at home, still waiting for "real" labor, except that I could tell the midwife I was 2 fingers dilated, so I thought it might already be "real"! Any done this time around (homebirth) will be done by me too...

[kalisis]

I think I only had one VE in the whole pregnancy with DS. That was when the m/w arrived and she was like, "whoa, you're a lot farther along than I thought you were. Mind if I check you?" I was a first time mommy in labor and wanted to know where we stood. So, I agreed.

This time around, I've said no VE and the m/w (a different one) readily agreed. No problem she said.

If it's something you're concerned about, bring it up.

[kerikadi]

I had ZERO in my homebirth labors. However, by the time my MW got there I guess it was pretty obvious to her that the end was near. She never even asked, not even when I started pushing.
I was honestly disappointed when I recently read Ina May's book and saw that every single woman had cervical checks and some of them had several. What's the point?

Keri

[Peony]

My MW doesn't do them. She told me if someone really, really begs then she might consider it, but she feels it is utterly pointless. When she said that, I knew she was the MW I wanted.

[TrishWSU]

I had two at my homebirth (and none during pregnancy.) The first when the midwife got there because I didn't believe I was very far in labor and wanted my mom and sister there (who live 3 hours away) but I really thought I had at least 12+ hours and didn't want them just sitting around. MW asked and said if I was around 4 they should get on the road-I was at 6 cm! The second one was after I started pushing involuntarily and I got scared because I couldn't stop it. Again, MW asked and I agreed-it helped reassure me that it was 'ok' to let my body push.

Of course, if I had refused my MW would have been ok with it. I think I 'needed' them to feel that every thing was OK being it was my first labor. That being said, I will probably not have a VE in future labors unless I do it myself. And I would never choose a care provider who required VE at any point!

[laohaire]

I had them. I'm sure my MW would have said no problem if I said no thanks. I actually didn't mind and don't regret the VEs during labor, I felt more secure knowing the "progress." However, next time I will refuse any VE before labor. My MW didn't do one until I was 39w4d but my waters broke hours later - I'm quite certain because of the VE. And baby and I weren't ready, we eventually kickstarted the labor with cohosh (and I was nervous about going days with membranes ruptured). Not good.

[momto l&a]

My mw leaves it up to me.

My first birth I wanted to know being I didnt know how to read my body.

Now I know my body and dont have VE's