Toddler harnesses ('leashes') - Page 8

[hipumpkins]

I just have to add one more thing...you are not treating your children like dogs when you leash them. Dogs are treated like children when you put them on a leash. A dog is an animal meant to be wild and free running. We leash them b/c we've domesticated them and made them family...we treat dogs like children when we put sweaters and boots and leashes on them. We want to protect our dogs b/c they are like children to us. (well by "us" i mean those of you that have dogs)

[the_lissa]

Originally Posted by hipumpkins

I just have to add one more thing...you are not treating your children like dogs when you leash them. Dogs are treated like children when you put them on a leash. A dog is an animal meant to be wild and free running. We leash them b/c we've domesticated them and made them family...we treat dogs like children when we put sweaters and boots and leashes on them. We want to protect our dogs b/c they are like children to us. (well by "us" i mean those of you that have dogs)

Exactly.

[BookGoddess]

Originally Posted by Hazelnut

eta: Okay not to get all morbidly curious, but I'm wondering how a tragedy could have inspired harnesses sales, vs. just inspring people to be super careful in public, around strangers, in parking lots or in crowds, etc.

I believe that mama was referring to the tragic Jamie Bulger case in Liverpool, England. You can google it and find all the details. Just thinking about it again makes me so sad. The 2 year old was out with his mother when she was momentarily distracted. He was taken by two older children. A video surveillence camera caught the kidnapping. Little Jamie was forced to walk along a train tracks, brutually tortured (won't mention the details. They make me physically sick ) and his body left on train tracks so that it would be dismembered.

Even the most alert mama out there can be distracted. We're all human. I would rather DD be in a toddler harness than go through what poor little Jamie's mama went through.

[moonfirefaery]

I agree. My dogs are like my children. I leash them because I love them. They cannot control all of their impulses no matter how well-trained they are. I don't want them running away, getting lost or hurt, or getting snatched. I use the harness with my son for those same reasons. That doesn't mean my dogs are on the same heart level as my son, but it is pretty close. I give my dogs peanut butter cookies sometimes because they like them. I'm not going to refrain from giving my son cookies becuase my dogs enjoy them too, and I'm treating the one like the other if they both get something. O.o

[Hazelnut]

I found that on the net- it is truly horrifying. I'm trying not to think about it. I still just find it curious that the public came to embrace harnesses more after that as opposed to just awareness at the horrendous possibilities.

So how do you all use them? Just for shopping trips? Public outings? I got mine just to have in case we went somewhere crowded in the city, for the occasional aquarium trip or something. Although I've just avoided those places unless I have my dh with me, and we keep vigilant watch on him, and I'm paranoid b/c I know we're all fallible. Now he is much better about running away, and doesn't mind the stroller and wants to be carried. I almost wonder if I should use it more often, but I can't take it everywhere. Maybe one can relax more if using it though (and I don't mean gingerly shoe shopping while Jr. waits, but it is hard for me sometimes to do things with my head turned and my eyes on him a few feet away at all times.) Today I got upset with him when he ran ahead to climb a wooden firetruck at a Christian-run apple-picking orchard. He was only twenty feet away, and it was a pretty safe environment, but it just scares me sometimes. Truly I just don't go to many crowded places with him. I guess a harness might make that more possible. I don't know if I could deal with dirty looks though. But so much bad stuff happens to kids sometimes. Just b/c it's not likely doesn't mean you want to take your chances. I think the public needs to just reassess their view of them and the occasional need for them.

[Brigianna]

A tip for those who may want an alternative to a leash--what I used to do, and still occasionally do with ds, is take a length of ribbon or string and hold one end, and have him hold the other end. That way he stayed close and was also participating.

[jul511riv]

I really like that idea. Thanks for the alternative.

[janerose]

Originally Posted by Hazelnut

I don't know if I could deal with dirty looks though.

Honestly, we've NEVER gotten a dirty look or comment. At least not within my hearing/viewing range. I asked my ILs who use it a bit more with her than we do (they're older & have a hard time chasing her) and they also said they've never gotten any negative comments or looks.

We have gotten lots of positive comments though. Especially on the style, because we use one of the dog backpack ones. It's rare that we use it & don't have someone make a remark about how cute is it, what a great idea, looks so much nicer than the regular ones, etc.

Holly

[JeDeeLenae]

So how do you all use them? Just for shopping trips? Public outings? I got mine just to have in case we went somewhere crowded in the city, for the occasional aquarium trip or something.

We usually use ours if it's just me going somewhere that's not stroller friendly, or if DS really wants to walk and not be in a stroller. If we're at the airport, a zoo, museum, etc... it's usually easier to use the harness. I keep the smaller on in my wrap.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Brigianna

A tip for those who may want an alternative to a leash--what I used to do, and still occasionally do with ds, is take a length of ribbon or string and hold one end, and have him hold the other end. That way he stayed close and was also participating.

That's a good idea with some kids. It wouldn't have worked with dd, though...as soon as she got excited, she'd have dropped it and run.

[Lisa Lubner]

The ribbon thing wouldn't work for my family either. Nice idea though!

I took the goo out yesterday for the first time in a harness yesterday. I asked her if she wanted to walk with the monkey or ride the stroller. She chose the monkey. We got a lot of smiles and "how cute" comments. We live right on the main street of our town, so it wouldn't take very long for any of my kids to run out in to the busiest street here. I'm thinking of getting the puppy for my 4 year old... Usually I would think that's too old, but she's sortof absent minded and wanders off in parking lots and into the street almost every time we're out... and no amount of gentle guidance seems to get through to her. She's a smart cookie, but her dad's side of the family are all like that.

[moonfirefaery]

I use mine anywhere that isn't really busy or really dangerous where we will be for a bit and where he'll definitely want to walk, airports, malls, etc. For a trip to the dollar store or doctor's office he just holds my hand or goes in the stroller. He doesn't really like being carried or worn and never really did. I hope to wear #2!!!

[captain crunchy]

We had a loooooong thread on this a while ago... someone may have linked to it already

I have no problem with harnesses as long as both parties are agreeable to it. If a child wants to walk and be able to wander a couple of feet from mama or whoever. doesn't want to hold hands, or be in a cart, or stroller and is happy and agreeable with a harness -- what is the big deal?

We found a ring sling works too ... the ringed part under our daughter's arms around her chest with me holding the tail --- it helped her a lot when she was a new walker and still unsure of herself --- we haven't used it since but if she is agreeable to a harness later on, it is not out of my toolbox.

Our goal in parenting (me and dh's that is) is to make sure our daughter is as safe, happy, comfortable, and free as she can be ... while at the same time making sure we as her parents feel safe, happy, and comfortable too ... if a harness meets her need to explore a couple of feet away and meets our need to know she is closeby and everyone is happy... I don't see the issue.

Though, this is coming from someone who is a very strict vegetarian and animal rights activist and wouldn't at all be insulted by someone comparing it to a *leash* --- my dog (who is not with us anymore ) got treated better than most people in my life did

[LoveBeads]

Just wanted to add that treating children like dogs in my house is....well...probably the best treatment in the world.

[Hatteras Gal]

I used my Moby wrap to keep me and dd together. I was traveling by plane with one layover with my 2 and 4 yo by myself. Dd2 was in a stroller, dd1 walked so I tied one end of the wrap around her waist and the other around mine. She was excited to 'be attached to Mommy.' It worked great and I got a lot of positive comments.
I wish I'd have taken it to the MN State Fair a few weeks ago. It was so crowded and busy, I lost dd1 briefly when a downpour started and we ran for cover. I thought she was with my friend and her family. Luckily she was up some steps, sitting quietly sucking her thumb.

[BusyMommy]

I don't believe in child leashes but I understand the fears & frustrations. My kids have whistles on their zipper pulls or on a carabiner clipped to their clothes. They stay with me but on the occasional time they've wandered off at a store or in a crowd, they know to stop and blow the whistle as long & loud as they can. My youngest has been able to do this since he was a very young 3 b/c we "practice" a lot & I used to reinforce it on every trip out. So, not a 100% preventive or a 100% safeguard but it works well for our family. I wish I could guarantee they would always stay velcroed to my side but I just can't.

[Tigerchild]

I think they work really well for some families. I really wanted to be able to use one on one of my boys in particular, but it was really much more trouble than it was worth.

I didn't want to use one out of kidnapping fears, so much as I had a bolter for awhile, and didn't feel that it was right to restrict the other two from going places. The problem was the clothesline effect when he did bolt! We had to solve things by either having dad schedule to come with us, or be available to watch my little runner while I took the other two came with me. Luckily DS didn't stay in that phase for too long, and they all hold hands nicely and walk with me.

I still sometimes get that zing of panic if one gets separated in a really crowded place (for us it tends to be the foyer of our church right after service lets out), or in a 'public place' like the kids' museum or zoo. So I got them matching VERY BRIGHT tie dye outfits for the public outings, and my smallish church is very friendly and kind to both me and my kids and will help me navigate through crowded pathways and my kids now understand that if they get separated from me to meet at the cookie table.

To me it's just a tool. Some people can use it, other people can't/won't...it's all good. I assume that no mama here would abuse it, and just about anything can be used as an instrument of abuse (including our hands) so just because someone's seen it used wrong once or twice doesn't mean that NOBODY can use it in a respectful way.

[BusyMommy]

Originally Posted by Tigerchild

So I got them matching VERY BRIGHT tie dye outfits for the public outings,

:
YES I dress them in matching screaming loud shirts when we're in busy places.

[moonfirefaery]

The whistle idea is great!!!!

[octobermom]

Yes we own a toddler harness a puppy dog one that our 3 year old play with all the time. We don't use it much shes not really a runner just in really crowded long outtings. Last time I used it was in the airport to keep her safely with me for the 3 hour wait (we traveled right after they forbid the liquids thig so loooong security waits) juggling her a carry one and her carseat. Other places weve used it include the zoo a museum in another state and a very crowded confrence.