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Toddler harnesses ('leashes') - Page 3

post #41 of 191
We also have a backpack one. The dog style & my DD doesn't mind it. In fact, she'll ask to put it on.

Honestly, we don't use it a lot. Neither of us has a big problem watching her when we're out, but she's not a runner and right now it's just her. I can definitly see using it more once the baby comes & I have to juggle two! Mostly, our parents have used it when they watch her. It's harder for them to chase after her if she runs off and frankly I *like* that they use it. I actually requested that my SIL use it whenever she took DD for a walk or whatever when she watched her over labor day weekend. People who aren't around your kids all the time just don't have that "radar" like parents do.

Oh, and I agree about the stroller thing. My Mom is addicted to the stroller! She'd literally put DD in it & push her around the yard to go for a "walk". : Also, our mall has a free book table every Thursday. You drop by with your kids & they can choose a book. DH & I were just saying how sad it is that DD is usually the ONLY toddler not strapped into a stroller. We actually let her walk, play with the books, read them to her, etc. All the other parents just pick a book that they think their kids will like, hand it too them, and then walk off. Kind of defeats the purpose of taking your kids to a fun, kid oriented even you know??? I'd much rather see kids in harnesses where at least they can move around.

Holly
post #42 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonfirefaery
Most of the people I've met are okay with them, but it really bugs me when I hear people say that we must not be able to control our children, that we are treating them like dogs, that we're lazy, or that we should just stay at home if we can't give them attention. I can't stand that! I'm not lazy. I'm just not always as quick as my son, and I don't want to risk him getting snatched by a stranger or hit by a car before I catch up to him. Of course I can't control him with words; he can't even say mama yet, much less control himself! I leash my dog to keep the dog safe, and that's what the child harness is about. As for just staying at home instead, how ridiculous...like a child should never get to explore just because he hates the stroller, kicks and screams if he's held when he wants to run, etc. Some of us have to go grocery shopping and buy winter wardrobes for our ducklings. What else should we do, let the child scream and cry in the cart as we shop? :/
People who would call someone lazy or that we should just stay at home, etc, well...I can tell you what I would tell them to do, but I would get banned.
post #43 of 191

They have their time and place

For both my kids, there was a period between learning to walk and readily accepting holding my hand in dangerous situations (parking lots, etc), in which the harness was an important piece of my toolkit.

A kid who wants to DO IT THEMSELF, to walk, but either has hans full of sticks and pinecones, or who just doesn't want to hold hands, might, as my kids both did, accept the harness. We do a lot of walking and hiking in places with rocky streams and deep gorges, where a few seconds of "breaking free" and running in the wrong direction could be catastrophic. (Every year or so, someone new to town steps off a path to relieve himself and falls to his death).

I got a lot of comments to the effect of "Well, MY child KNOWS she has to hold my hand in those situations." Yeah, and eventually my kids learned that mamma wanted them to hold hands in parking lots and on trails. But while we were learning that, the harness was there just in case. They both loved having their hands free to explore, pick things up, carry a toy, what have you.

And I got as many "Wow, where did you get that?" comments as I did eyerolls or dog-on-a-leash remarks. I was all ready in case of something snotty, to say "Well, at least he's not strapped to a board with wheels. HE's free to walk, unlike your kid." but I never actually had to say it.
post #44 of 191
Has anyone else's viewpoint on this changed as they got older or had kids?? I remember seeing young kids with the harnesses on, when I was younger too, and thinking it didn't seem right or that it was like a "dog on a leash." I think having kids and maturing affected my viewpoint on that a lot, but back then, nothing anyone said to me would have made me feel differently. You know? I'm ashamed for my negative thoughts I had then toward those mothers.
post #45 of 191
Quote:
a few seconds of "breaking free" and running in the wrong direction could be catastrophic
Yesterday I sat in the parking lot of a large shopping center while my husband went in and filled a prescription. I saw many MANY runaway toddlers and MANY MANY speeding cars. I was there for twenty minutes and saw so many close calls and near misses it took my breath away.
post #46 of 191
I have seen these in action and enormously helpful to a friend who is blind and had an adventurous toddler. I've not needed one, myself.
post #47 of 191
I actually don't see people using them too much, I guess because it does have a such a negative rep. I would rather not use one. DD is too young now so we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Me and my sister always stayed with our parents and never needed a harness because the idea of getting lost was so frightening. So maybe she'll be like that too, and will want to hold hands and stay close.
post #48 of 191
I think that harnesses and wrist straps became more popular in the UK after the murder of Jamie Bulger in 1993... parents became more aware of how easy it is to become separated from young children in busy places. For most I imagine, it really is just a case of security and safety.
post #49 of 191
Thread Starter 
I never really liked them. I thought it was kind of weird to have a leash for a child because generally leashes are for dogs. I wasn't like 100% anti-harness, but I just thought it was kind of silly, that there had to be better ways, and that it was kind of mean to restrict the kid like that. Now that I have a parent, with a kid who loves to run around but is too young to control his impulses, the only thing that bothers me is when parents drag their kids around, jerk on them, or don't teach good behavior in addition to using them. Just more reason why I try not to judge a practice until I've been in othe situation.
post #50 of 191
My oldest dd preferred the one that attaches her wrist to mine. I used it with her from about 17 months 'till her language and listening skills improved and she could better stay close to me, I think that we stopped using it at about 26 months.. My younger dd prefers the one that goes over her chest and straps from the back.

Both girls definitely prefer this to the stroller or cart! It gives them the freedom to explore, and the opportunity for more exercise. It also gives me the peace of mind, to know that my children are safe.
post #51 of 191
I think they have their place as long as the child is completely OK with it and it is used gently. My dd was a runner for a while and it was difficult to keep up with her. We live in a rural-ish area and we do not go to box stores or malls so it has not really been a big problem. One time we tried using her Maya wrap as a tether in a busy airport. We were on a total of 6 hours of flights and dd really needed to stretch her legs during the layover. But the airport was so busy, she kept weaving away from us, so we tried the wrap. It was like putting a cat on a leash! She bolted off in three different directions at once, tangling and toppling everything in her wake. She thought it was the funniest thing ever to take down that book display and nearly kill that old woman! In desparation, dh let go of the end of the sling so she would not tangle enything or anyone else up while we tried to get to her. While we were still running after her (now joined by the bookstore employee and the angry old woman), she managed to go under this man's legs then around him, nearly toppling him as well. At least he held his ground so we could get to her and remove the sling from her AND the man's legs.

We never tried it again.

Word of advice? Always try it in a non-congested area when using it for the first time.

BTW, she later that day tried to make off with one of the security golf carts. I was in the bathroom with dh watching her. As I am washing my hands I hear people yelling. I knew imediately that it involved my dd.......
post #52 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyButler
While I don't use one regularly, I'm seriously considering getting one of the backpack versions for our upcoming vacation... For me, safety overrides any misgivings I have about using them.

I also don't have a problem with my SIL using them when she's out and about "alone" with her toddler twins. : They're always heading in different directions- so unless she keeps them strapped in that aircraft carrier of a double stroller of hers, harnesses seem to be the best GD option. (She's pregnant with twins again and can't sling two toddlers at a time with the watermelon sized belly she's got now...)
OMG!! Hugs to your SIL!!!
post #53 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yooper
BTW, she later that day tried to make off with one of the security golf carts. I was in the bathroom with dh watching her. As I am washing my hands I hear people yelling. I knew imediately that it involved my dd.......
Kids are awesome!
post #54 of 191
Great info on this thread - thanks!

Could someone point me to a picture or place to find/order the backpack kind? Is it on the adult or the child? I'm not sure I get it ...: but it sounds interesting!!!

Thanks!!!
post #55 of 191
Quote:
Originally Posted by firstwomantomars
Great info on this thread - thanks!

Could someone point me to a picture or place to find/order the backpack kind? Is it on the adult or the child? I'm not sure I get it ...: but it sounds interesting!!!

Thanks!!!
Well, I ordered mine from walmart.com : And right after ours arrived our Walmart started carrying them in stock. They also have a monkey style. This is what we have:
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...uct_id=4837494

But I do know there are other places online you can get one as well. Several of them were WAY out of our price range though. Hopefully someone else can help you out with other links. I seem to remember someone else at MDC also mentioning that they got their's at Target...

Holly
post #56 of 191
I used to think that they were awful. I thought it was so cruel to do that to your child. LOL Then I got older and had kids of my own. I have never used one, but I totally understand why they are used. I also see them as a safety tool for parents.
post #57 of 191
Hi mommas,
I'm not a mom yet but i do have fond memories of my harness and wrist leash from my hellion days. I NEVER wanted to hold hands or be held and i was a runner...lol still am. If my babies are anything like me I don't think i would hesitate using one in some form, it would spare me and my kids from the trauma my mom and I experienced when I got lost at Disneyworld at the ripe old age of 3
post #58 of 191
Personally I don't like the look of some of them: I was at the zoo with ds and dh a week ago and there was a little boy there, he was Amish and instead of a wrist one he was tied up in a thick leather tether!! It actually looked they were taking him for a walk! He had to be ds's age, 4.5...: and I admit I did lift my eyebrows a little!

I never had a problem with ds running from me - he has very mild sensory issues and doesn't hold my hand but does hold onto one of my fingers and that's good enough for me. But that is US. If I had a runner I'd use one - the most unobtrusive one I could find. If his safety was compromised in any way I'd use it and not think twice and to heck with what people thought...I'm just glad I never had to!
post #59 of 191
i personally see nothing wrong with them if they are being used for safety. I can't expect a 2 or 3yr old to comprehend the severity or danger of someone kidnapping them etc, so if they were prone to running off, I would use one.

Quote:
Both girls definitely prefer this to the stroller or cart! It gives them the freedom to explore, and the opportunity for more exercise. It also gives me the peace of mind, to know that my children are safe.
i also agree with this comment, it gives the children some freedom while still being safe.
post #60 of 191
I just can't seem to overcome my negative reaction when I see one. The point about the harnesses not being all that different from strollers is a good one, though. You've definitely got me thinking!

On the other hand, I live in a busy urban neighborhood with LOTS of small children. Most mothers don't seem to use leashes, therefore, somehow most Moms/babies seem to do OK without them.

My feeling is usually the less gadgets, the better.
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