how would you respond to this note from preschool?

[wednesday]

We get a note from the teacher everyday, because we pick DS up from aftercare after his regular teacher goes home. Anyway, usual nice comments, and then:

[DS] constantly sucks on his fingers at school and I am trying to get him to stop as it is unsanitary for him and breeds germs on anything he touches. Is there anything you do at home to get him not to do this?

I'm not sure how to respond. The finger-sucking is a fairly recent development, DS was never a thumb-sucker and even though we used a pacifier when he was tiny, he gave it up on his own at 7 months. The finger-sucking going on currently seems to be a self-soothing kind of thing, i.e. I definitely notice him doing it more when he is upset or crying.

It had never occurred to me that it would be unsanitary, but I confess I am as anti-germaphobic as they come. It literally would never have crossed my mind to try to get him to stop and I'm a little put out that his teacher is pressuring him to do so.

So I don't really know what to say to the teacher because to me it's a non-issue but I guess that is not respecting the fact of the other children in the environment, not that they don't spread plenty of germs to each other ANYWAY, I mean come on... And there are other kids there even DS' age (almost 3) who still bring pacifiers and suck on them and drop them all over the place...

Anyway I'm just wondering what other people think...

[Flor]

I don't think that finger sucking is an issue, but when I think of the germs on the desks/toys/books that he is touching and then puting his fingers in his mouth. . . as a teacher, I am ALWAYS washing my hands. I wouldn't like to think of my little guy puting his fingers in his mouth in my classroom. Maybe I'd approach it from a totally santiary position and ask her to have him wash his hands frequently? Is there something else you can give him or teach him to sooth himself?

[mammastar2]

I'd say that I've noticed that he sucks his fingers as a self-soothing thing when he is upset or stressed, so to look out for those times and find ways to head them off, and the finger-sucking will decrease. You may also want to point out that, although he doesn't have any other particular self-soothing habits at home, the teacher could try to redirect him to something else, e.g. a lovey or some quiet activity that has the same effect.

[bellini'smama]

or you can look at it this way that all those germs that everyone is so scared of nowadays actually helps our immune system to get strong. I personally hate antibacterial soap, bleach etc, (I am a preschool teacher) We have had children up to 5 still thumb sucking or finger sucking. I worry more about impact to oral development, not germs, but it is always a family deciscion. We do have the children wash hands before eating, after bathroom, normal times, but let's get realistic, preschool children are not the cleanest people. They drool, have runny noses, play in dirt and even if don't finger suck, put their fingers in their months. To me, the teacher is being a little hard nosed.

[momz3]

My daughter is a thumb sucker and is not going to school yet (only 2). Those things can be hard to break...and like a pp said above its a comfort thing. I agree with the person who said asking the teacher to wash his hands frequently as forcing him to completely stop sucking his fingers may stress him out even more

[bethwl]

My daughter is a thumbsucker (age 3 and just started preschool) and I fully expect her to do it for a long time, because I know I sure did. Eventually, she will learn not to do it constantly out and about, as I did and mostly do it at night or when she is tired or upset. But as you have identified that this is when your son is doing the finger-sucking, I would say to the teacher that you think it is related to when he becomes upset and say that they only thing you can think of is to suggest other soothing activities. I wouldn't go out of my way to think of ways to help her make it stop or sound too concerned, since you are not. I am kind of like you in that I don't worry about germs at all (my germophobe mil drives me nuts) so that aspect probably wouldn't get to me either, unless it proved to cause more colds for your child or something.

[wednesday]

Thanks for all the feedback. They do have that alcohol-based sanitizing gel in the classroom so maybe I iwll ask the teacher to just have DS use that from time to time if it is such a concern. It is not the "bad" kind of gel that has chemicals in it to kill bacteria--it just uses the drying effect of alcohol, basically, so I am not that worried about him using it.

[Starflower]

Hmm. My DD is just starting a co-op preschool and we had the orientation today. The teacher there has them wash hands upon entering the classroom, and then before and after snack (due to finger sucking) and of course after the bathroom and all. I thought the after snack one was a little bit weird.

DD sucks her thumb and I don't encourage her to stop. She doesn't do it much during group activities away from home. It's more of a comfort thing then if she's upset or if she's just kind of bored.

I'm kind of weird about germs, but my house is also a mess and we have a dog and DD loves to dig in the dirt and anything messy she can find, so I think she'll have a strong immune system. I do try to have us wash regularly with mild soap and water. I hate the antibacterial stuff too. And I'm allergic to most harsh cleaners anyway so I really hate that the state requires bleach cleaner for preschools. I understand, but I don't have to like it.

Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised to get a note about DD's nose-picking habit. She likes to suck her thumb and pick her nose at the same time. I suppose some people would be really put off by that, but hey, she's three. And very self-determined. The more I try to get her to stop, the more she does it. So I don't really bug her about it.

BTW, which of the gel santizers are not "bad" ones? I like to keep some of that in my purse for outings when DD touches something really gross, but I'd hate to be using something ickier than the germs it's supposed to kill.

[wednesday]

Originally Posted by Starflower

BTW, which of the gel santizers are not "bad" ones? I like to keep some of that in my purse for outings when DD touches something really gross, but I'd hate to be using something ickier than the germs it's supposed to kill.

Most of the soap-type antibacterial products contain triclosan, and the concern with that is that it doesn't actually kill off everything, and so it breeds super-resistant bacteria. Also it's just not something I would want to be absorbing through my skin several times a day, kwim?

The sanitizing waterless gels, OTOH, are typically alcohol-based, and the way they work is simply that the alcohol dries out the cells of any bacteria, which kills them. So it does not contribute to the superbug-breeding issue. There's typically also a lotion ingredient so that even if you use it several times a day, your hands don't get that over-dry feeling, which can happen when you wash with soap and water frequently.

You can just look for the active ingredient listing on the back of any "antibacterial" product to determine which kind it is.

[aniT]

Originally Posted by Starflower

Hmm. My DD is just starting a co-op preschool and we had the orientation today. The teacher there has them wash hands upon entering the classroom, and then before and after snack (due to finger sucking) and of course after the bathroom and all. I thought the after snack one was a little bit weird.

Think of all those sticky little hands just after eating.

[bobandjess99]

Personally, I'd say that i did not see it as a problem and would not "do" anything about it, nor would i stand for her "doing" anything about it.
Clearly, the woman knows NOTHING about germs and does not understand transmission, etc......