Mother daughter activities

[LeAnnie]

My almost 5yo dd is really bonded to dad these days after several years of being mama's girl. I sense our bond is changing a bit now that she is weaned (at age 3and a half) and has a 9 month old little brother. I wanted to get some ideas of things we could do together in the afternoon while ds naps.
Anyone have ideas to share of what 4-5yo enjoy doing with mom?
Thanks

[Babytime]

My 5 year old loves spending time together while her sister naps! She often wants to do a crafty project, which often we find together in a book or on a website. We also like to ...

bake
paint/draw
play games
play with her puzzles, blocks, dolls

Sometimes we create mini books or journals together. You could start a scrapbook with her?

[Beth-TX]

This summer we played "school." My dd got to choose a subject every week (cats, fairy tales, Mexico, space--anything) and we would go to the library and check out every book we could find on the subject. Then we'd go home and read the books and do appropriate projects. It was a lot of fun, and educational for us both.

peace, Beth

[soygurl]

I second the baking sugestion. Or cooking. My mom baked with me all my life (dumping things in a bowl and stiring at 2, doing more and more as I got older). Baking taught me fractions (I was unschooled) and a lot about math in general ("if we half this recipe, how much flour do we need?"). It helped me bond with my mom, and I found my passion in life. As an adult I work in a bakery, do cake decoration, and hope to have my own bakery/cake shop in the near future.
I would also recomend reading a really good book. Pick a chapter book and read a chapter a day (little house in the prarie books are great for this). Picture books don't allow for as much bonding IMO. With chapter books you can talk about how the story is developing over several days.
One other sugestion is to get a book of easy, at home science experiments. They can be SO fun! Even something as simple as mixing cornstarch with water and playing with it (at a certain ratio it forms a liquid that becomes more and less viscus depending on how much pressure is put on it... hard to explain but REALLY cool).
Oh, and any kind of crafts are good. Sewing, knitting, scrapbooking,
Have fun!

~Kelsie

[LeAnnie]

Thanks for the ideas. They all sound fun to me. I don't know what it is with my dd, maybe her personality or a phase, but when I've suggested baking cookies, playing cards, trying a craft she often says 'no'. Or if she does agree, she wants to give all the directions ( or be the director so to speak) which doesn't necessarily work out with cooking! She definitely has a leader personality and likes to be the one who knows how to do something. For whatever reason she doesn't like me to show her things. When I suggest reading, she prefers playing library or storytime where she is the 'reader' instead of me reading to her! I guess crafts are good because I can just get the materials out and let creativity take over. It makes me kind of sad because I would love to cook together. I'll keep trying. Does this sound like a normal phase for 4-5 yo girls? The independence from mom thing? Maybe it's just my dd. She definitely likes to be in charge of whatever we do. I temporarily gave up on homeschooling for just this reason!

[babybugmama]

What if you did a pretend bake? Ask her for the ingredients and make whatever it is she suggests.... It'll probably be a nasty pile of glop...but she gets to lead and it opens the door to explaining recipes and why we use them as a general rule? Then you could try a recipe book for kids that perhaps has pictures...is she reading or can you guide her in reading a recipe?

The leadership is a great quality, but hard to parent

[sunnmama]

I gave my dd a sewing basket when she was this age, and she enjoys sewing with me. I can hardly sew, lol, but I like to handstitch simple things....and I can repair things. She has her own tools, so she can control her own sewing. She practices stitches, threads buttons, repairs seams in her stuffed animals, etc.

For cooking, look in the library for the Mollie Katzen cookbooks for children. We have the one called Pretend Soup. These books were designed for children like your dd, because they have child-friendly instructions! (first page has recipe written out and explained, and then has the entire recipe drawn in pictures with minimal written instructions. It was designed for kids to cook by themselves, rather than helping an adult). And, since it is Mollie Katzen, it is all super healthy and delicious.

[mummy marja]

LeAnnie
Does this sound like a normal phase for 4-5 yo girls? The independence from mom thing? Maybe it's just my dd. She definitely likes to be in charge of whatever we do. I temporarily gave up on homeschooling for just this reason!

My dd just turned 4, and she can be a bit like this sometimes. She ALWAYS has to be the director when I play make-believe with her. She will make up the story line down to the tiniest detail and if I forget one part or don't act it out right she gets SO upset. We've had a few talks about this because it isn't at all fun for me when I can't use my imagination at all and have to follow her directions implicitly. She isn't this bossy with her friends though.

My sister's 5 yr. old Dd is going through a stage where she doesn't really want to play or do things with her mom either--and it's hard on mom.

Although it must be difficult sometimes, your dd's wonderful leadership qualities are exactly what our society needs right now--strong women who aren't afraid to take charge.

[LeAnnie]

Originally Posted by babybugmama

The leadership is a great quality, but hard to parent

le

Thank you for putting this into words bbbugmama! It gives light to why I've been gritting my teeth for the past few months.
Leadership is such an important quality. I need some finesse to build it into our relationship (AP style) rather than fight it.
Pretend bake-fabulous idea!

I have 'pretend soup'. Dd likes to look at it, but she still steers away from anything that she needs to rely on me for, which is the reading part as she can't read much text yet.

[kangamom]

My dd (6.5) is much the same way. With her being the oldest of four, and now with her in school, I have had a hard time finding time with her. I've had limited success in baking and cooking, and I'd love to teach her to knit and sew, but she doesn't seem to take direction from me very well. I'm not sure if its her or me or both of us together. I just signed up for an EFNEP cooking class and plan on taking her with me. I found out about it through the local WIC office. I'm not sure if its a national program or not, but you might check it out. The class is free and it meets once a week for 4 or 6 weeks. Something like that might be fun, where neither of you is the leader. I also sometimes just make a huge batch of playdough and just sit with her and play whatever she wants. She still likes to do that. but I'm thinking our time might be limited with that one. She's already identifying certain things she used to love as "baby stuff". *sniff*

[LeAnnie]

Originally Posted by kangamom

She's already identifying certain things she used to love as "baby stuff". *sniff*

Oh that is so sad (sniff, here, too)

I like the cooking class idea! We do a lot better when someone else is teaching.

It does make me feel better to know other daughters go through this too. If I can just think outside the box then I believe we can stay close and still let her independence blossom. I do feel a touch sad though when I hear about other mama's and daughters doing so many things together because we just don't seem to click all that well right now with the typical activities. But I'm excited about suggesting some new things. I think dd will be too.

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Dd loves to play dress up, string beads(large wooden ones)
build tents/castles with sheets/blankets
play with play doh or Mr potato head(she choooses what goes where Lol)
paint her nails(if you allow)
fix mommas hair...OUCH
play cars
read
paint/crafts...loves glue lol

[BurgundyElephant]

Before baby, I used to take DD#1 out to lunch, and let her pick the restaurant. (Not fast food) When DS is a little older I plan on starting that up again. It was nice to have one-on-one time!

[kangamom]

Oh yeah. This summer I got to just sit and had lunch with dd #1 and she REALLY enjoyed it. It made me a little sad because I realized we han't done anything that simple together in a very long time. (Toddler twins keep me very busy) She keeps asking when we can do it again.

[Thao]

My dd (6) is pretty bossy too. Basically when it comes to playing and spending time with her we do things that allow her to be the boss. She's been making "wilderness stew" for years (the term is from a Berenstain Bear book). I get out all of the bits and things in the back of the cupboards that I don't think I'll ever use (molasses, flour at the bottom of the bag, stale oats, etc) along with the food coloring and let her go to town. She still loves doing it, although now she's moved on "cooking" with things she collects from outside, leaves and flowers and things. We make "wraps" with dirt and whatnot in leaves, then actually fry them in a frying pan.

The other thing we do alot is pretend. In our case, my hands are two birds named Cheep and Chirp. Sometimes she is like an older sister, sometimes like a teacher, sometimes like a mom. No matter what, she bosses them around alot. She'll put makeup and wigs on them too, and spend hours making "props" little houses, chairs, dishes, etc to be used in our games. To be honest, I don't really enjoy pretend but the game is so good for her in every way I end up enjoying it anyway. Sometimes I even use it to "talk" about issues in her life, like if I know that she had a bad day at school I'll have Cheep and Chirp ask her about school and then discuss it with her (although since they are "younger" than her they always ask her about what should be done, they NEVER give advice). They're like bratty little kids and funny. We've been playing this game probably since she was 3 and it's still her FAVORITE.

Anyway, of course you can't do the exact same thing (your dd would probably look at you like you have 3 heads if you tried to tell her your hands are birds) but the basic concept is just a game where she is boss and it's funny. Maybe have her be the librarian and have some stuffed animals or hand puppets be the children she is reading to. Then you make the stuffed animals talk and have personalities, ask funny childlike questions that she has to answer.

[Curious]

My Dd has always wanted to be the one in charge. I do not ask her if she wants to do something I want to do.

We have great times baking, doing other cooking, musical things, sewing (I taught myself to make dolls a few years ago and she's grown up watching me work on my technique: I'd never sewed before), cleaning (it's truly fun for her), taking walks. A few months ago we started painting Waldorf style which took some adjustment on her part as well as learning on mine, but now she loves it and it's become a regular fun activity for the two of us.

I just start doing what I'm doing and she joins in.

But if I were to say, do you want to sew? Ha. She'd say no just to prove it's all up to her.

Once she wanted just to stay home with me, but now if Dh says he's about to leave for Home Depot, she's jumping to go along...

[LeAnnie]

Originally Posted by Thao

(although since they are "younger" than her they always ask her about what should be done, they NEVER give advice).
.

That's funny- my dd is the exact same way about others-imaginary or pretend-they are almost always 'younger' in her assessment.

Wilderness stew sounds fun!

Curious- your post reminded me that I need to stop asking! I think that might be part of our problem...it only spurs her on to ask me to do things. A little reverse psychology may be in order here...

This thread is highlighting all the qualities of tomorrow's women leaders- they're in charge, creative, see themselves as more experienced, make decisions with authority, know what they want...all sounds good!

[Curious]

Originally Posted by LeAnnie

This thread is highlighting all the qualities of tomorrow's women leaders- they're in charge, creative, see themselves as more experienced, make decisions with authority, know what they want...all sounds good!

Yeah - every time Dd gets on her high horse and exclaims NO with such conviction, I KNOW, when someone tells her to shread documents or to do something else shady some day, exactly what she'll do.

[A&A]

Get some bikes and go for a bike ride with her. Oh, but that wouldn't be during nap time. Perhaps an exercise video? A fun one--dancing or something. (If you could do it and not wake up brother.)