Any intactivist a paci user ?( comfort measures ? Feelings ?

[MommytoB]

We were at Wendy's for dinner tonight it's quite a popular place since tis right behind me . We saw a lil newborn he was going a 'continous cry' the first thing the mom did was try to feed & continued to try to feed the baby i'm for sure a boy a bottle but he didn't take any but continued to try then his 'grandma ask the mom where's his paci then all was quiet.

I'm starting to wonder if there could be a connection of 'comfort for food' & not sharing our feelings because of how 'quick' it's too do put something in the mouth as in to 'keep us quiet' and I wonder don't babies have the right complain ?

[ledzepplon]

I'm not sure I see the connection between paci use and intactivism. My son is intact, and he occassionally uses a paci for comfort. I ofer the breast first, but sometimes he doesn't want milk, he just wants to suck. He also uses his fingers for this purpose.

I know some people misuse the paci, and some dislike it because it can potentially interfere with nursing. But I think comfort sucking is a natural coping mechanism and aids in stress relief for infants, and pacis can help soothe this "sucky" babies.

[mama_at_home]

Hmm, maybe you meant to post this in Lactivism? It's ok, I think I have done that before, too.

[sandals]

I think she might be saying that mothers are becoming desensitized to the "complaining" of their baby because they can easily stop it by putting something in their mouth. (maybe?) So maybe this connects somehow to women ignoring the fact that their children have the right to complain and do complain but we don't listen because we put pacis in their mouths?

Myabe I'm reading way to far into this

[mama_at_home]

Maybe you're right!

[MommytoB]

sandals is right about what I am saying or trying to get because it's almost like you know the saying Lock Your Lips, Put A sock in the mouth so in most parts they kinda 'sterotype men to not be a 'sharing feeling kinda person' so maybe 'we end up thinking 'crying is going to around for awhile -so get used to it then maybe 'some who would 'might be able to help with 'crying would be as in holding 'comfort' or being silly 'comfort'.

Like in one joke I saw is how we eagerly wait for them to walk & talk but now we are telling our kids to 'sit down & to be quiet.

So, I'm wondering if a mom can 'desenstize herself as in believing of certain crying like a circ could be from 'something else ' so she don't have to be guilty with 'facing the fact the circ happened when it shouldn't have because how we talk of the 'denial of even babies being in pain during & after.

So then I was curiously out of 'wondering' if any intactivst what do they do 'for their 'children comfort including ds (i am guilty as charge for bbs for 'comfort measurement too (which a wonder if it could be considered for getting any food or would it just be fo r up to closeness comfort but now he's not wanting the boob comfort anymore it's a kiss on where he thinks he got himself an ouchie.
I go 'all better he goes all better.

How quick are we at and how 'soon does 'crying stop' ?

[Synchro246]

[Nathan1097]

I never used a pacifier like that- just to shut up the kid. Even in the hospital with Noah, I knew when he was just wanting to suck and so said "okay" to a binkie. My eldest had problems with nursing (Nathan) and I blamed the binkie (Which may have been true), my middle one never liked binkies at all... and Noah was fine with them. At least, I never had to worry about them giving them up. They just sorta did.

[dnr3301]

I was horribly opposed to pacifiers. And then my son was born. He needed one. Still does, to sleep. He would nurse, then push my breast away when my milk let down and wait until the let down was over, then nurse again until the next one. he didn't want milk, he wanted to suck. I waited/denied this for three months. I finally broke down and gave him one, he loved it. My life got 90% better in that one day. A constantly fussy rooting (but not wanting to nurse) kid turned into a really happy baby.

He is intact. I don't really see a connection at all. I also consider myself a lactivist. Before my son taught me about this, I never wold have believed anyone who said their kid needed a pacifier.

[DocsNemesis]

I dunno, I use a pacifier and I am totally against RIC. Granted I dont offer the binky first, but I use it freely on my little ones. I dont like to let my baby cry and it often happens with my babies that they dont want to nurse anymore, they just want to suck. I have too much milk in the begining, so that is partly why-they cant comfort nurse because they get too much milk and their tummy hurts.
I am also one of those who hated binkys before I had a child. I got over it really quickly, lol. Anyway, there are also times/places where I know that the baby is fed, I know she is dry, and I know that picking her up wont do much good (or sometimes it might, but we are in the car, or someplace like that) that I will offer the binky first. Or would, my dd weaned herself from the binky months ago...now they are just chew toys,

[sandals]

When I think of this topic, I don't really think that pacis aren't necessary; I think that maybe some in our culture have been desensitized to the feelings of their baby by items like pacis. That isn't to say that anyone who uses them is desensitized, but that the whole market for these types of items has affected some. It's like that thread about giving teh child a sugar paci during circumcision as a form of relaxation...kinda like the presence of this item that many know calms children, in turn, makes them (the parent) more calm about the situation of their child feeling pain.

[DocsNemesis]

So what should I do when my baby wants to suck but doesnt want to/cant nurse anymore? Let them cry? Infants have a need to suck and when they only get a couple of minutes at the breast every few hours, that just isnt enough sucking for them. As they get older, they dont need to suck as often, so they stop using the binky. I tried to not use one with my 2nd and all I got was an extremely fussy baby (and child now). I didnt use one for 8 weeks if I remember correctly and those 8 weeks were horrible. She was constantly in pain because the only way to calm her was to give her the breast-because she wanted to suck, nothing else-and it caused her great pain with all the milk that was already in there. She ended up super gassy too and anyone who has ever had gas pains can tell you that sucks. She was so much happier once I gave in and gave her a binky. And if we had lived 400 years ago and there were no binkys, I would have made something for her to suck on (and I am pretty sure that there were pacifiers of sorts even back then, just not marketed).

[sandals]

I am not attacking anyone who uses them (all three of my kids do/did, too! ) But I just saw a connection between the idea in this thread and the use of the paci to make circumcision more relaxing. Items can have good uses (they need to suck) but, at the same time, they could be used for things they shouldn't be used for (to take OUR minds off the pain- the paci definitely doesn't stop the pain during cirucmcision, it just makes the pain less audible to us and perhaps diverts SOME of the child's neurons). So that's were I see the desensitizing coming in....there exist people who see tha paci as helping the child through circumcision. I would bet that at least some of people have been desensitized to some degree and exemplify that by accepting that the pacifier makes cirucumcision easier for the child (instead of themselves).

[DocsNemesis]

Oh ok, sorry! I just misunderstood . I totally agree that giving a binky during a circ does not stop the pain, at all. I dont even give my babies the binky during vaccines because I know it wont help them feel better-the boob does that wonderfully afterwards though, lol

[grisandole]

Originally Posted by dnr3301

I was horribly opposed to pacifiers. And then my son was born. He needed one. Still does, to sleep. He would nurse, then push my breast away when my milk let down and wait until the let down was over, then nurse again until the next one. he didn't want milk, he wanted to suck. I waited/denied this for three months. I finally broke down and gave him one, he loved it. My life got 90% better in that one day. A constantly fussy rooting (but not wanting to nurse) kid turned into a really happy baby.

He is intact. I don't really see a connection at all. I also consider myself a lactivist. Before my son taught me about this, I never wold have believed anyone who said their kid needed a pacifier.

Yep, same here. DS2 really, really need to suck, and would get angry when milk would come out, lol!