we're going through this issue w/ my 7yr old brother where he's been hanging out with the hooligan neighbor kid. now, imo, my mother should have put a stop to the kid even coming over long ago. i don't know why she hasn't. this kid has been caught killing frogs in front of db (
poor db! i know this confused/scared him so much!!), has called db "gay", has told db that he doesn't like "black" people (darling, darling, sweet db thought the kid meant people who dress in black and wear black masks ... he's always refered to african americans as "brown" people 
), and swung a hammer towards db once. again, why is this kid allowed around my brother? i do not know. dm and i get in enough arguments as it is about parenting, so i try to stay out of conflict as little as possible.
so, anyway, the latest problem was yesterday. db got ready for bed, and when he was laying there talking to dm, he told her that neighbor kid was throwing glass bottles into the street earlier that day (why didn't she already know this by supervising them more carefully, you ask? good question.) he said that he hadn't thrown any bottles because they might "hurt a car's tires", and that he'd told neighbor kid not to do it either. so dm talked to him about how it could hurt him, his bike tires, etc. also about how it's illegal. that's all great and i'm sure helped him (he obviousely wanted to hear some info about this subject, that's why he brought it up), but then she told me that she went to the other neighbor, who's house the kid was throwing bottles in front of, and told him that next time he saw db, to tell him that he wouldn't call the police *this time*. i said, well, i really don't think scaring him like that will help. she said, "josie, he has to understand that he needs to come tell me these things immediately."
: so we tell him that if he's remotely involved in this kind of thing again, we'll get the police involved!? i tried to reason with her for a minute then finally gave up and said okay.
this is just such a frustrating situation. i'm really just venting because there isn't anything else i can do. i'm giving dm "how to talk so kids will listen..." this evening. she really does try, but has so many issues of her own (anger, guilt, self-esteem) that it gets in the way of her parenting BIG time. i've talked to her about this, but it's kind of hit or miss (depending on how she feels that day).
i guess all i can do is leave my house open to db if he ever needs a break. i also try to talk with him honestly and openly about issues that arise from this neighbor kid (homosexuality, killing animals -- i'm a vegitarian --, racism, etc.).
thanks for listening. i feel better already.
poor db! i know this confused/scared him so much!!), has called db "gay", has told db that he doesn't like "black" people (darling, darling, sweet db thought the kid meant people who dress in black and wear black masks ... he's always refered to african americans as "brown" people ), and swung a hammer towards db once. again, why is this kid allowed around my brother? i do not know. dm and i get in enough arguments as it is about parenting, so i try to stay out of conflict as little as possible.so, anyway, the latest problem was yesterday. db got ready for bed, and when he was laying there talking to dm, he told her that neighbor kid was throwing glass bottles into the street earlier that day (why didn't she already know this by supervising them more carefully, you ask? good question.) he said that he hadn't thrown any bottles because they might "hurt a car's tires", and that he'd told neighbor kid not to do it either. so dm talked to him about how it could hurt him, his bike tires, etc. also about how it's illegal. that's all great and i'm sure helped him (he obviousely wanted to hear some info about this subject, that's why he brought it up), but then she told me that she went to the other neighbor, who's house the kid was throwing bottles in front of, and told him that next time he saw db, to tell him that he wouldn't call the police *this time*. i said, well, i really don't think scaring him like that will help. she said, "josie, he has to understand that he needs to come tell me these things immediately."
: so we tell him that if he's remotely involved in this kind of thing again, we'll get the police involved!? i tried to reason with her for a minute then finally gave up and said okay.this is just such a frustrating situation. i'm really just venting because there isn't anything else i can do. i'm giving dm "how to talk so kids will listen..." this evening. she really does try, but has so many issues of her own (anger, guilt, self-esteem) that it gets in the way of her parenting BIG time. i've talked to her about this, but it's kind of hit or miss (depending on how she feels that day).
i guess all i can do is leave my house open to db if he ever needs a break. i also try to talk with him honestly and openly about issues that arise from this neighbor kid (homosexuality, killing animals -- i'm a vegitarian --, racism, etc.).
thanks for listening. i feel better already.
both of my parents very much, my dad is a rather violent person and, again, i really wish my mom would stand up for her son and not put him around these things (df yells constantly, threatens to "beat his butt", is always negative/fighting with my mother ... as far as the neighbor kid situation, df told the kid that if he bullies db any more he'll ... oh i can't remember exactly.. basically do something violent to the kid ... i mean, jesus christ. "if you bully him because you're bigger and can, i'll bully you because i'm bigger than you." dm did put a stop to this kind of talk, but db hears stuff like this every other day.) ::sigh:: all in all, it's just a bad situation. db really needs some stability in his life. the only good male figure in his life right now is dh, who spends a lot of time with him and is a really great example of a loving, kind, respectful man. i believe that this is the kind of man db will grow up to be, but i'm really afraid of how these other examples are going to affect him!
