Need help with serious problem

[Joannarachel]

DS (2 next month) has taken to letting out blood curdling shrieks unexpectedly in the car...he is not upset, and he is not laughing. Just screaming for the sake of screaming. It's extremely startling and I have swerved a couple of times. I have tried speaking sternly to him and when I say, "Matthew! No screaming!", he screams a few more times just to show me who's boss :

He's comfortable, he has toys, he LOVES car rides.

I firmly believe in gentle discipline, but I don't want to kill all three of us. HELP!

[Ruthla]

What a tough situation! Honestly I don't know if I'd be able to keep my cool and use GD in a situation like that- I'd probably have pulled over and completely lost control screaming (or worse) at my child. I'm hypersensitive to high-pitched noises and I find it incredibly challenging to remain calm when I'm exposed to them.

I'm sure there's some way to make the point to your child how serious this is without frightening your child. Can you minimize taking your child places until this phase is over? Can you explain to DS that it's not safe to drive if he's going to scream, and if he can't control himself, he won't get to go places with you? This obviously would work best if you're (not) taking him to fun stuff for him, and it's not interfering with things you need to get done.

[monkey's mom]

Ahhh yes....I remember that phase quite well.

All I can say is that ignoring it was the best way I found to make it go away.

God help you!

[pianojazzgirl]

We do a lot of talking about "outside voice" and "inside voice". Dd is your dc's age and is finally starting to (for the most part) save the screams for when we're outside.

[Joannarachel]

Just to add, M is in EI for speech therapy, he only uses about 1/2 dozen words, so I can't have a conversation with him about it. Dom and I emphasize inside voices v. outside voices, and he's demonstrated to us that he KNOWS the difference.

This is a power struggle pure and simple. He knows I can't physically FORCE him to stop screaming, and that I can't turn around and deal with him when I'm driving. It's very disconcerting and....frustrating :

[chfriend]

My two year old does it. My 5 year old did it. It passes.

Opening the windows does help keep your eardrum from shattering. I found singing softly sometimes chilled it. Sometimes it just chilled on its own.

[honeybee]

My 6 month old shrieks for the fun of it. Ear shattering. And there's not much you can do when he's only 6 months old.

If my 2 yo did that repeatedly, though, I think I would try ignoring it for a while. If that didn't work, I might pull over the car and wait him out. Then pull over each time he did it again. I would probably do this over a week when we didn't have anyplace to be at a certain time.

Those are just some brainstormed ideas, I don't know if they'd work for your situation. Good luck. I hope this phase ends soon!

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by Joannarachel

This is a power struggle pure and simple. He knows I can't physically FORCE him to stop screaming, and that I can't turn around and deal with him when I'm driving. It's very disconcerting and....frustrating :

Then I'd ignore it. As completely as possible. Act like it never even happened, he'll probably stop pretty soon. Try to prevent it, too, with books, toys, snacks, etc.

[blsilva]

My 2 yr old does this too. And he laughts as I cringe. The only thing that I have been able to do, with moderate success, is tell him- in the quietest voice I can manage- that he is hurting mommy, and that we don't scream in the car. He can scream outside when we get where we're going. Then I do my best not to react any more. Sometimes he gets tired of the game & gives up. Other days he is more persistant, and it goes on longer. Either way, I know from experience with my 4 yr old, like the others said, it passes. Maybe earplugs?

[warriorprincess]

I would deifinately ignore you. I think he's doing it for the reaction.
Maybe as a preventative play stories or kid songs in tha car? If he likes what he's listening to he may not wish to scream.

[TripMom]

Earplugs maybe?

[Fairy4tmama]

Originally Posted by monkey's mom

Ahhh yes....I remember that phase quite well.

All I can say is that ignoring it was the best way I found to make it go away.

God help you!

:
I have so btdt it sucks and as a matter afact ds2 is tring it on these days too:

in the mean time
what about a story on tape /cd that you only listen to in the car?

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by Joannarachel

Just to add, M is in EI for speech therapy, he only uses about 1/2 dozen words, so I can't have a conversation with him about it.

I have conversations with non-verbal infants frequently (albeit one sided). Does he understand what you say to him? I'd have a conversation with him anyway. I find that if I converse with a toddler and just expect them to understand me that they usually live up to my expectation quite easily.

This totally doesn't apply if his language difficulties are receptive.

[chfriend]

I like the ear plug suggestion. A friend of my got them for herself and her other child when one of hers was in this phase. They really seem to enjoy exploring volume don't they?