Any other "big" kids with pacifiers?

[Mamatohaleybug]

My DD turns 4 later this month and is no where near ready to give up her paci. Anyone else in the same situation??

We limit her having it to sleeping and resting only but she'd happily use it all the time if I let her. The reason I don't is because it was majorly messing up her mouth/bite (her teeth don't touch in the front at all). Since we laid down the law a year ago her mouth has improved a lot.

I had many siblings that sucked thumbs or fingers until they were teens and it was no big deal. I just get tired of comments from others. I find myself feeling guilty and then I have to remind myself that in this situation I know what is best for my DD. No one else does. I REALLY am okay with it but i wonder if everyone on the planet thinks I'm the most over-indulgent parent around. KWIM? *sigh*

DD has special needs and has very poor coping skills. The paci really comforts her so much. I really feel like she needs it. Anyone else dealing with this? I'd love some support.

[jillmamma]

Not my own child, but a boy I used to babysit full time for till his family moved away does. We still keep in contact with them, and he turned 4 in July and still uses his for nap and night times. He has the issue with the front teeth not touching all the way down as well, but is VERY attached to his "foofie" and does not want to give it up. While watching him, by around age 2.5 or so I started limiting it to just inside time, then just sleeping times, and he did fine. His mom does the same thing still now, and she is also hesitant to force him to give it up as he has dealt with a lot of transitions lately...moving, starting preschool, and just had a baby sister in August. So, I feel you know your child best, and I think as long as you limit it (for her teeth's sake), I would not worry too much about her having it and she will outgrow it eventually. My son is 3.5 (4 in Dec), and still nurses. I see it as they both still have needs for a comfort item, and will give it up when ready.

[frowningfrog]

My oldest DD had hers untill she was 5. I never felt there was anything wrong with it. Sometimes I was uncomfortable with it because people in my surroundings made it so.
I think that if your Dd seams to really need the paci for comfort reasons then I wouldnt push the issue with her about ridding it.
However, you could find something to replace the paci with another thing that could be a great comfort to her. Make it something new, not something she already has. You can do this gradually.

[laohaire]

Oh, I bet the comments and looks are hard to deal with, but you can feel good knowing you are looking out for your DD.

I myself was a "big" kid with a plug. I believe I gave it up around 4. I don't know if my mother sped that along or if I just put it aside then. I got braces later (at 13), just like every other kid in my generation. It's debatable whether the plug had any negative effects on me, but it certainly didn't have any negative psychological effects on me. I'm glad my mama let me keep it for a while

[Mamatohaleybug]

Originally Posted by laohaire

...it certainly didn't have any negative psychological effects on me. I'm glad my mama let me keep it for a while

Wanna know how emotional I am about this? That statement made me tear up.

I'm trying to mother my child and my child only. I have to keep her needs in the forefront of my mind. Someday I hope she'll feel the same way you do - that she'll know I loved her and cared about her emotional well-being enough to not rip her comfort item from her because society expected it of me.

Thanks for sharing! That really helps me be child focused about this hot issue.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

DC still uses one and she'll be 5 soon.

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by Mamatohaleybug

Wanna know how emotional I am about this? That statement made me tear up.

I'm trying to mother my child and my child only. I have to keep her needs in the forefront of my mind. Someday I hope she'll feel the same way you do - that she'll know I loved her and cared about her emotional well-being enough to not rip her comfort item from her because society expected it of me.

Thanks for sharing! That really helps me be child focused about this hot issue.

Group hug!!!!! Now I'm all choked up too!
Honest... I never knew what it meant to be a mama till now (well, a year ago). I never got all emotional about stuff. But now?!?!?

I think you're doing great, and I hope maybe what I said helped a little. My mom loves me to death and I know it - and the plug (mine was a PLUG not a little pacifier ) probably was a little piece of that. Love to all mamas everywhere who give so much to their children.

[laohaire]

Oh, and I forgot to add - when I said it was debatable whether it had any negative effects on me - I mostly meant my teeth. And I personally don't think it had any lasting effects on me whatsoever. I got braces. Probably would have needed them anyway. I like my teeth today. No oral problems. All healthy and happy

I just said debatable since probably someone can jump on this thread and post some study or other saying *whatever* about plugs and teeth... eh... BAH, I say.

[afishwithabike]

I wouldn't worry about. Braces are the smallest of odds with a paci. I would rather have a happy child that later needs braces than to force them into something they aren't ready for. My children are going to get to trade their paci's for a build-a-bear when they are ready to give them up. Their loving snuggly forever friend. My Mom still has my teddy bear from when I was a child because it meant something to her. Nothing better, I say, than a happy child.

[OakBerry]

Mine just turned 4 and is still going strong with his paci.
I told him he can keep it as long as he needs it, but we agree to only use it at night, or if he's sick or extremely upset.
Dh and I both needed braces growing up, so I figure he'll need them, with or without the paci.

And I love the build a bear idea!

[TiredX2]

Neither of my kids used a pacifier late (DS not at all) but I would definately *let* them. I figure that if children are meant to nurse 2.5-7 years then there are kids out there who are not nursing who still very much need that sucking.

Good job mommas!

[Awaken]

I haven't read the other responses but it is the same for us. My ds is 3 3/4 and no sign of losing the paci any time soon. He also has a hard time coping and the paci is his main comfort. We do try and limit it to bed or when he really needs it, and he has a lovey but nothing trumps the paci!

I"ve stopped worrying about it for the time being; I'm sure once he turns 4 I'll be posting again and worrying about it!

[ewe+lamb]

Although my children don't use 'pacifiers' (they're called dummies where I come from), all babies/young children have a NEED to suck it's an inbuilt thing, it's comforting and reassuring to them, some women breastfeed their children for a long time and those children have a NEED to suck as well however, it's on the breast, others have pacifiers - I think that taking it away would just do more harm than good, at the end of the day when she goes to high school she's not going to be using one - just as the kids don't nurse - I think!! (but maybe I'm going to be shot down in flames for this one!)

[alisonsvw]

kee kee user here!

my DD is 3yrs 3months and refuses to give up her kee kee, she cries for it. She isnt nursing but I know she needs the sucking. People always say to her get that out of your mouth, your a big girl, gimmee that, and I say when she is ready she will give it up...her teeth dont touch either, but when I took her to the dentist I didnt mention it and he said her teeth look great and I said any effects of pacifer use? and he said nothing that wouldent correct itsself if shes minimally using it ( ) I might try the build a bear thing.

[abranger]

quote from my almost 4 year old (12/02) 'my name is georgia and i am a pacy addict'

still need THREE to sleep. one for each hand ya know. we only use it for sleeping but she'd hapily keep it 24/7

no teeth issues her dentist even says she has a perfect palet (of course he doesn't knkow she uses a pacy) and she's been talking in full sentence since she was one

my SIL says hey if you have a glass of wine to unwind at night why can't she have a pacy!

[Trinitty]

I had mine until I was five.

My Dad finally just took it away from me, saying that I couldn't very well take it to school. I CRIED. I loved my suckie.

I think he gave me a special dolly or something to make it up to me.

My parents were really great, and Mom says that it was the hardest thing to do, and that she just left it up to my Dad because she couldn't bring herself to do it!

I hope you come up with something easier, but just wanted to warn you that it could be hard!

[frogguruami]

No paci here but DS2 is 5 years old and still sucks his fingers and carries a security blanket and stuffed animal religiously. He, too, has poor coping skills.

[winnie910]

The Pacifier Hangup

I am so sick of people making a big deal out of a pacifier. Let the child have their comfort. I just don't understand why a child has to cry over a pacifier. All day I say no, for they need to learn to talk. But bed time, sick time, stress time, let them have what they need to help them through it. I seriously doubt anyone one of these children will be going off to college with a pacifer. Just venting from a stressed grandmother:

[chel]

do any of your dc still nurse? My dd used a paci from 6m-12m but I used it mostly when I couldn't nurse (while driving, etc). I clearly remember the last time she took it, we were in a crowded theatre (smack dab in the middle) and I was trying to "plug her" (I'm not sure why I didn't nurse)
Anyways, dd comes from a long line of "intense suckers" my sis and I weren't nursed, but we both sucked our fingers. I stopped around early elem, but sis was a regular until she was 21 and got her tongue pierced. It didn't stop her but she did cut way back.

[nextcommercial]

My daughter is 14 now. She had it til she was three and a half. I bribed her with money to throw it away.

We also read the book "The last Noo Noo".

Pacifers make a big kid look stupid. Other people will say things to Mom and Dad. Well meaning friends and family will buy books like "Bye Bye pacifier" to "help" your child get rid of the stupid looking thing. Grandma will ask "When are you going to take that thing away from her?"

But, boy if GRANDMA keeps her overnight, Grandma wants to be DARN SURE she has that pacifier.

It will happen when it happens. As long as she doesn't have recurring illnesses that you can't explain, then she should be fine. The dental damage is already done. Besides, almost all kids get braces anyway. So, that really isn't an issue.

My daughter was getting strep throat over and over. She used the MAM pacifier. The doctor never once suggested that the strep germs were in her pacifiers. I always washed them in the dishwasher, I was young and stupid. If it had even crossed my mind that that is why she was always so sick, I would have at least bought new ones. But, when she was sick, she really needed her pacifiers, and since she was always sick, she always had them. Turned out it was a vicious cycle.

Let her have them. When she gives them up, her front teeth will meet up within a year. My daughter had the fangs til she was four. She has braces now, and will have perfect teeth in one more year.

She still remembers her pacifiers and admits to loving them her whole childhood. I think she kinda misses them. LOL