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forced bra wearing?-updates pg. 5 and 7

post #1 of 168
Thread Starter 
I'm not sure how I feel about all this so I'm looking to you all for some different perspectives. My dd is 11 and developing. She has boobs, but not full grown adult sized. We bought a couple of bras at her request this past summer, but she hasn't worn them very much at all. Today we got a note from her teacher saying that dd needs to wear a bra or undershirt everyday.

My knee jerk reaction is "Who are you to tell me and dd what to wear in regards to underwear?" I mean, the weather has been chilly, so dd wears long sleeves, dark, thicker cotton tops/sweatshirts. No halters, no see thrus etc. What the heck is showing that needs to be covered? I don't wear a bra everyday and I'm fairly hefty so maybe I'm missing something. It's not like she's not wearing deod. and stinking up the room.
What's next, come spring a note telling me we have to have her pits and legs shaved?
Anyway, I tend to get pissy and rebellious when told I "have ' to do something, so I need an outside point of view.
post #2 of 168
even with non-see through shirts, a stiff breeze can make the nipples become erect and stick out through the shirt, and cause somewhat of a disruption in the class.

You know, pubescent boys

HOOOOOOOO

HAAAAAAAAAA
post #3 of 168
I think it would really depend on what size your child is.

Say if she wears an A that is small and many adults that wear A's dont even wear bra's. But if the child wears a B or bigger, in my opionion she should be wearing a bra. On that note however, I don't think it is the schools business to tell you so. I mean a bra or undershirt? As long as her shirts are not see through what is an undershirt going to acomplish? :

You might try talking to the teacher to find out where she is coming from and go from there. Then if you still feel she has crossed the line, go from there.
post #4 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora114
even with non-see through shirts, a stiff breeze can make the nipples become erect and stick out through the shirt, and cause somewhat of a disruption in the class.

You know, pubescent boys

HOOOOOOOO

HAAAAAAAAAA
How is a bra going to prevent this? Erect nipples are still visable through bras.
post #5 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT
How is a bra going to prevent this? Erect nipples are still visable through bras.
not usually, especially if the shirt is thick too. it's one more barrier of cotton pretty much...
post #6 of 168
No way in this world would I go along with this. : as long as you cant see thru her clothing it is not a issue. If she dosnt want to wear one no way would I make her. In my opinion bra's are just short of torture devices and a man made invention with no real value. And I would be calling that teacher ASAP and talking with her and the principle. Geez I am PO'ed on your behalf here. :

Also even if she is a double D she shouldnt have to wear a bra if she dosnt want to.
post #7 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay
Anyway, I tend to get pissy and rebellious when told I "have ' to do something, so I need an outside point of view.
: Right there with you on that! :
It is yours and your childs choice on what to wear or not to wear. Not the schools, expecially if it has to do with undergarments.Size has nothing to do with it! If she feels like not wanting to have a bra on so be it. I don't think I've see a mandate on bra wearing yet.
As for the boys.... How are they going to handle them when a part of them starts sticking out in class :.
Can't wait to see what they want them to wear.... A jock all of the time?!
Good luck. Please keep us informed.
post #8 of 168
Thread Starter 
I wonder what would happen if I showed up to talk with the teacher wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt in all my braless, unshaven self? Yep, that's me--a woman with hair and boobs..deal with it.
post #9 of 168
That is what I would do but I am just rebellious that way
post #10 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora114
not usually, especially if the shirt is thick too. it's one more barrier of cotton pretty much...
Unless the bra is padded, it has been my experiance that it still shows thorugh.
post #11 of 168
What kind of school is this? I would guess that the teacher has no authority to require this. Is it in the school's dress code? I would go have a fit.

-Angela
post #12 of 168
Personally, I'd talk to the teacher and find out why she made the demand. If I agreed with her reasoning (I doubt that I would), I'd talk to dd and explain the situation. But, there's no way I'd make my child wear a bra if she didn't want to, just because a teacher told me that she "had" to do so.
post #13 of 168
As a person with larger than DD (I don't know what size I am, since I don't wear bras, but I know my biggest bras don't fit anymore! ) braless person, I really don't think she should be made to wear a bra! NIpples do show through, and that might attract some attention, and attention from boys about something like that at her age might be painful. So, I would tell her that, and suggest she wear a bra to make HER feel more comfortable. But I would never MAKE her wear one if she didn't want to. And if the teacher still hassled her about it, I'd have a parent teacher conference. Ahem.

(BTW, when I was pg, I had a shirt with a built in padded underwire bra, and my nipples STILL stuck out of that!!! : After that, I said, screw it, if they're going to show through the armor plated shirt, they're gonna show through anything, and gave up.)
post #14 of 168
i've always hated bras. once in a while i'd through one on, even still. bras should be a choice. i get sick of people telling me they're going to sag. thats about as annoying as people nagging about not circing my son. and why would anyone really care if they sagged anyway? they're MY boobs. and teenage boys are going to be horney no matter what. i never really cared what people thought of me, and i still don't. actually, i don't recall ever really being picked on in high school for being the way i was. we had a pretty cool student body.
post #15 of 168
oops, i meant to say that i'd THROW one on, not THROUGH one on
post #16 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora114
not usually, especially if the shirt is thick too. it's one more barrier of cotton pretty much...
Ummm... I had a boyfriend once who told me that I was the only girl he knew who could nip out a down coat.

--Olive
post #17 of 168
Okay, yet another post for tina to hate me for

Generally, school dress codes have "appropriate undergarments" listed on it. This includes the banning of visible panties, bras, boxers. It also includes wearing appropriate undergarments. All too often we get girls at school where you can see the shape of not just the nipple, but the entire areola. This is disruptive to the learning environment. Besides that, someone mentioned what will boys do if they happen to have a certain piece of their anatomy at attention. Do you really want it to be the sight of your braless daughter's breasts to be the cause of that?

Now, I'm not saying to force her to wear a bra, but an undershirt or thourough inspection of what she looks like through her shirt each day, may be in order. If for no other reason than to be sure the boys aren't stocking up on memories of her chest for leter on!
post #18 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyto3girls
Okay, yet another post for tina to hate me for

Generally, school dress codes have "appropriate undergarments" listed on it. This includes the banning of visible panties, bras, boxers. It also includes wearing appropriate undergarments. All too often we get girls at school where you can see the shape of not just the nipple, but the entire areola. This is disruptive to the learning environment. Besides that, someone mentioned what will boys do if they happen to have a certain piece of their anatomy at attention. Do you really want it to be the sight of your braless daughter's breasts to be the cause of that?
Oh, please! Do you actually believe that a 13-year-old boy is going to get an erection if a girl in his class is braless that he wouldn't get, anyway?? I can remember a boy in my 7th grade class getting up to do a presentation, and he had one. Where he'd been sitting, he couldn't see any of the girls, regardless of what they were wearing. Even if it were dependent on getting a glimpse of a girl, do you actually think that a girl wearing a bra can't get a reaction out of a boy?

I can't imagine how angry I'd be if my dd's school tried to force her into a bra that she didn't want to wear. Luckily, this doesn't apply to ds1, and my other kids are being homeschooled.
post #19 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyto3girls
Now, I'm not saying to force her to wear a bra, but an undershirt or thourough inspection of what she looks like through her shirt each day, may be in order. If for no other reason than to be sure the boys aren't stocking up on memories of her chest for leter on!
Did you just add this, or am I going nuts?

If my mother subjected me to a "thorough inspection" of what I looked like through my shirt every day, I'd have quit school - yes, even at 12. I can't imagine anything more humiliating.

I wouldn't wear an undershirt at that age, as I found them too warm.

And, again...do you believe that a bra (or an undershirt, for that matter) will stop the boy from "stocking up on memories of her chest"???
post #20 of 168
This could all be solved so easily if we would only agree that all females should wear burqas!

Heads would roll if this were my daughter. Go get em, tiger.
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