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forced bra wearing?-updates pg. 5 and 7 - Page 6

post #101 of 168
Quote:
We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing.
Quote:
The only time she doesn't need a bra
A "need" is something you can not live without (ex. food water, shelter, climate appropriate clothing).

Your breasts don't "need" a bra.

Say you are more comfortable wearing a bra. Say it is societal convention. Say you think it is culturally appropriate. But please, don't confuse these things with "need".
post #102 of 168
for some bigger breasted women......bras are a NEED, and sometimes surgery. for the average woman, they arn't. Either way, sometimes a bra is a NEED.
post #103 of 168
I disagree, it is still not a need, by definition.
(I have very large breasts and I don't wear a bra anymore, actually my back pain improved ALOT when I stopped wearing one)
post #104 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by romans_mum
for some bigger breasted women......bras are a NEED, and sometimes surgery. for the average woman, they arn't. Either way, sometimes a bra is a NEED.
True. But it is only possible for the owner of the breasts to decide if there's a need. The owner of the ones in question has decided it's not a need.

I still say it is totally inappropriate for a teacher to be involved in this in any way. What if it was a male teacher? How many of you would be okay with the note?

-Angela
post #105 of 168
"Hygene"? UNless she's squirting breastmilk into everybody's lunch trays, I'm not buying the "hygiene" thing. Weird.
post #106 of 168
When teacher said "We wear bras when we have breasts" did she also use her kindergarten voice? And what has hygiene to do with it? Sheesh! I see women with and without bras, with boobs of all different sizes and shapes -- happily the law doesn't (yet) dictate our underwear. Anyway, good for you for not blowing your cool, and for declining to force your daughter to comply.

Last sentence deleted!
post #107 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
True. But it is only possible for the owner of the breasts to decide if there's a need. The owner of the ones in question has decided it's not a need.

I still say it is totally inappropriate for a teacher to be involved in this in any way. What if it was a male teacher? How many of you would be okay with the note?

-Angela
oh, ITA, I was just stating that for some women a bra is a NEED.

I don't think it was right for the teacher to send a letter, it should have been handled better, and now knowing the basis the teacher was coming from, which wasnt out of concern for the dd's mental health because of teasing etc.....it was HIGHLY inappropriate.
post #108 of 168
it seems like that teacher is very close minded to new ideas. If she had come from a place of real concern then it would be another story. I just don't think I would have been able to keep my cool in that conversation. Good job for standing up for yourself and your DD.
post #109 of 168
Good for you for keeping your cool and standing up for your DD.
post #110 of 168
I can't believe the teacher thinks you can force any pre-teen or teen to wear something. There is no way I would have been forced to wear a bra, I wore one because it was more comfortable, but if i forgot i didn't really care. Still don't care, no clean underwear today- guess i can go without. I know many adults that choose not to wear undergarments and they definatly don't have hygeine problems. I could even understand if the teacher was saying you dd has to wear shoes as that could be a safety issue but really is someone going to loose an eye because she didn't wear a bra. Glad you stuck up for your dd, let the notes keep coming.
post #111 of 168
Wow! Good for you for keeping your cool, I'd have been
"We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing." : This is no real reason in my book.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog
"Hygene"? UNless she's squirting breastmilk into everybody's lunch trays, I'm not buying the "hygiene" thing. Weird.
: And "appropriate" is very relative. Girls (or anyone else) shouldn't be made to wear things because it's "appropriate" if they're not comfortable with it.
post #112 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay
update --talk w/teacher

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw dd's teacher today. I said I was wondering why she felt the need to send a note home regarding dd's bra (or lack thereof). The teacher looked at me blankly and said, "because she's not wearing one." (Umm, ok, duh) I asked if that was a problem. Her answer was, "We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing." I said I was trying very hard to not make this an issue for either dd or the teacher. I didn't want to force dd to wear a bra when she wasn't comfortable with one. The teacher again re-stated that it was a matter of dressing appropriately and that dd "would get used to wearing one ' if she had to everday. I told her that I would gently encourage dd to wear a bra or undershirt, but I would not FORCE her to wear one and left it at that.
I am determined not to make this a battle. The teacher can send home another note if she likes, but I think she knows now that she cannot force my dd to wear a bra just because she says so.
I think I would've asked, "How do you know she's NOT wearing a bra?" Because honestly she has to be observing your daughter pretty closely to tell, based on what you've said, and THAT to me is much more inappropriate than your daughters bra status.

UGH I am so not looking forward to the days when my lil' peanut will be in public school!!!!
post #113 of 168

Nipples Bipples

I would let the choice be your daughters. I usually don't wear a bra myself. A few years ago I had reconstructive surgery from breast cancer and afterwards wearing a bra was very uncomfortable. Well its been a long while and I only wear one when I really need to ( which isnt often) I also had a breast reduction so my boobies are "perky" now. Maybe thats why I'm not concerned. What I usually wear is a cami or a tank top and then a shirt over that.
post #114 of 168
Is this woman 98 years old? You were way more polite than I would be. I would have said, "No, WE burned our bras in the 60s, and WE haven't looked back."

I actually do wear a bra, but I think she is way, way off base even thinking about mentioning this topic, so I'd have to be snotty.
post #115 of 168
A bra is not an automatic need. In fact, the modern bra is a realtively new invention. (~100 years or so) So while it's nice for some, it definately shouldn't be required for all.
post #116 of 168
I started wearing a bra in 5th grade, but because I have uber sensitive nipples. Breastfeeding has actually helped that, but come PMS time. I HAVE to wear a bra again.

That teacher seems a bit... controlling?... maybe. I mean, how the hell does she KNOW you dd isn't wearing a shelf bra that's just a single layer of spandex cotton under her shirt? KWIM?
post #117 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettypixels


Mommyto3girls... I really don't see how a white supremacist protest is relevant to this discussion at all. That said... there are racists everywhere. There are bad people everywhere. And especially if I lived somewhere where there were heavy gang activity I'd want my daughters to know how to protect themselves, so that when a guy grabs their boob they can defend themselves instead of standing there and being a victim. (I want my kids to know how to protect themselves regardless... but I wouldn't let living in a less than desireable neighborhood make victims out of me or them.) I wouldn't want her to feel she has to dress in a certain way because someone, someday, "might" try to touch her. I want my kids to feel safe in their own skin, no matter what that skin looks like.

StormBride... *applause!* For sharing your experience! I had people make fun of my boobs too when I started getting them, and mine weren't even big.
I wasn't pointing out the white supremicists, I was pointing out that my students were involved in a riot, assulted police, and burned down a 80 year old mans business and home. Just trying to illustrate the type of area I taught in last year to show others where I was coming from with wanting to do everything possible to protect our girls

To the OP. I would be upset now with the teacher's response. Sorry
post #118 of 168
OMG! I think I woulda ripped my bra off right there! That is BS! I would PRIVATELY contact the Principal. This teacher has overstepped a few boundaries here-for sure.

Her approach and response are horrific. You may wanna get your DD in a different class-this may be JUST the beginning!
post #119 of 168
I just want to remind you to keep your posts on topic. This is about 'forced bra wearing' in the schools, not a debate between 'hippies' and 'non-hippies'

Thank you,

Kelly
post #120 of 168
Woah, teachers don't get to decide if bras are "appropriate" IR required attire for every girl in school. It's between the child and parent. That teacher really went too far.

You were really nice about it though, it'd have probably told her to worry about parenting her own kids.
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