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forced bra wearing?--updates pages 4 & 6 - Page 4

post #61 of 130
Nankay when you have a update for us could you put it in the thread title so that I can find it fast these 2 threads have gotten super long.
post #62 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
Really, I agree with this. If it was my daughter, I would wonder why the teacher was staring at her chest. That, I guess, is what bugs me about this.
Oh yuck, I hadn't even thought of it that way. Which leads me to think this....

Quote:
Originally Posted by mika85
...I believe that note could very easily be considered sexual harrassment. :...
is especially valid.
post #63 of 130
I was curious how the talk with the teacher went.
post #64 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruden
I was curious how the talk with the teacher went.
Ditto
post #65 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruden
I was curious how the talk with the teacher went.
Yes, we're all waiting in suspense here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joannarachel
I like my shoes. I'm more comfortable in them....I wouldn't really care to step on something sharp or sticky while barefoot. And 7 months out of the year it's way too cold to go without shoes. Oh, and in this state, there is a law on the books requiring a close-toed shoe to operate a motor vehicle. Not a myth.
Well, definitely wear shoes if they're comfortable Nobody has suggested otherwise. It's a personal decision. Just like wearing a bra should be. I know some women who are uncomfortable wearing a bra (me) and some who are uncomfortable NOT wearing a bra (my best friend). Do what works for you and more power to you!

MA has a law on the books about it being illegal driving barefoot? Wow... could you post a link? The link I found has this to say:

http://secure.aaasne.com/public/news...motorlaws.html
Quote:
Barefoot Driving: Operation of a motor vehicle by a driver with bare feet is permitted.
I'd love to know if they're wrong though!

Ah, I'd have a field day with a podiatrist My pediatrician uncle nearly put the children's shoes store out of business when he started his practise because he informed the parents that their children did NOT need stiff shoes in order to learn how to walk sooner

Shoes have their place, but they aren't necessary any more than bras are! Both are mostly worn for social reasons, but also by a few who feel more comfortable in them. Nobody should be forced to wear either one (or forced NOT to wear either one)! Back on topic at the end :

love and peace.
post #66 of 130
I've always been confused when people say wearing bras is more "modest." Bras generally make smaller breasts look bigger, IMO- that was the only reason I ever wore one, anyway. Is it just the nipple thing?

(Honestly, I think it's weird that this teacher was staring closely enough to realize the girl was not wearing a bra, assuming she's under a B-cup....)
post #67 of 130
Thread Starter 

update --talk w/teacher

I saw dd's teacher today. I said I was wondering why she felt the need to send a note home regarding dd's bra (or lack thereof). The teacher looked at me blankly and said, "because she's not wearing one." (Umm, ok, duh) I asked if that was a problem. Her answer was, "We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing." I said I was trying very hard to not make this an issue for either dd or the teacher. I didn't want to force dd to wear a bra when she wasn't comfortable with one. The teacher again re-stated that it was a matter of dressing appropriately and that dd "would get used to wearing one ' if she had to everday. I told her that I would gently encourage dd to wear a bra or undershirt, but I would not FORCE her to wear one and left it at that.
I am determined not to make this a battle. The teacher can send home another note if she likes, but I think she knows now that she cannot force my dd to wear a bra just because she says so.
post #68 of 130
I understand not wanting to make a battle out of it but I would probably still talk to the principle about it. Because her answer is just not good enough. What if she ends up saying something to your dd? If it were me I would just tell dd if she wants to wear one fine if not fine and leave it at that.

I hope things just die down tho and nothing else is said. It just irkes me that the teacher saw it her bussiness to say she needed one in the first place.
post #69 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay
Her answer was, "We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing."
I replied in your other thread, but I overlooked one thing. I find the "we" wear bras when "we" have breasts thing just beyond annoying. No - "we" don't. I wear one, my sister usually wears one, my best friend wears one, my ex-SIL never wears one (I've known her since 1985, and I don't think she's ever owned one, except to nurse), my ex-MIL never wears one, etc., etc., That sickening "we do" meaning "I do" or "it's expected" makes me want to vomit. That teacher sounds like she was talking to a 6-year-old (only not the way I'd talk to a 6-year-old).
post #70 of 130
I agree that the principal needs to be in the loop. This is NOT an appropriate topic for a teacher to be sticking her nose in. What would you think if it was a male teacher?

-Angela
post #71 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay
I saw dd's teacher today. I said I was wondering why she felt the need to send a note home regarding dd's bra (or lack thereof). The teacher looked at me blankly and said, "because she's not wearing one." (Umm, ok, duh) I asked if that was a problem. Her answer was, "We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing." I said I was trying very hard to not make this an issue for either dd or the teacher. I didn't want to force dd to wear a bra when she wasn't comfortable with one. The teacher again re-stated that it was a matter of dressing appropriately and that dd "would get used to wearing one ' if she had to everday. I told her that I would gently encourage dd to wear a bra or undershirt, but I would not FORCE her to wear one and left it at that.
I am determined not to make this a battle. The teacher can send home another note if she likes, but I think she knows now that she cannot force my dd to wear a bra just because she says so.
Good for you for sticking to your guns. You certainly were a lot nice than I would have been! : I honestly think what the teacher did was extremely inappropriate and that she more than overstepped her bounds-but then again I'm the kind of girl who would burn her bra! Really though, she has some nerve. I would have told her to keep her d*** eyes off my daughter's breasts and not to send notes home regarding them. If she says she "can't help noticing" then the least she can do is keep quiet about it. It's not the teachers place to ever comment about a student's underclothes or lack there of.
post #72 of 130
Can I just ask...what does a bra have to do with hygiene?
post #73 of 130
*sigh*

Is this the worst thing in the world? I mean, doesn't a teacher have enough actual, academic concerns rather that your daughter's breasts. Sheesh. I agree, with the person who mentioned taking it to the principal if another note is sent home.
post #74 of 130
Good job! As a pp mentioned, you were way more polite than I would have been... so the reason she needs to wear a bra is because she's not wearing a bra? Circular reasoning, anyone? : And the "WE wear bras when WE have breasts" thing : Just curious, but did you wear a bra to the meeting? I wouldn't have Boys have breasts too... just 'cause they're small shouldn't make them exempt Wearing a Bra = Hygienic? : That's a good one!

If the teacher had actually had a legitimate reason (can't think of one off the top of my head, but I'm sure there must be one ) then I would say to have a chat with your dd, but this is ridiculous! I would complain to the principal whether or not another letter is sent home, but that's just me :

Yet another reason to homeschool...

love and peace.
post #75 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nankay
I saw dd's teacher today. I said I was wondering why she felt the need to send a note home regarding dd's bra (or lack thereof). The teacher looked at me blankly and said, "because she's not wearing one." (Umm, ok, duh) I asked if that was a problem. Her answer was, "We wear bras when we have breasts. It's just a basic appropriate clothing/hygiene thing." I said I was trying very hard to not make this an issue for either dd or the teacher. I didn't want to force dd to wear a bra when she wasn't comfortable with one. The teacher again re-stated that it was a matter of dressing appropriately and that dd "would get used to wearing one ' if she had to everday. I told her that I would gently encourage dd to wear a bra or undershirt, but I would not FORCE her to wear one and left it at that.
I am determined not to make this a battle. The teacher can send home another note if she likes, but I think she knows now that she cannot force my dd to wear a bra just because she says so.
I would talk to the principal. If it isn't part of the dress code, I don't thinkit is any of her business. Does she force all kids to wear socks, too? Just because SHE thinks thats what you do, doesn't make it so!
post #76 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by mika85
Unless of course "wearing a bra" is in the dress code, which I seriously doubt it is. My old highschool had a pretty strict one and there was nothing in there saying we had to wear a bra.
My high school actually did have that in the dress code. I have no idea how they intended to enforce it *shudder*, and I don't know anyone who ever got written up for it, but it was there.

OP, I definitely agree with the pp's to bring this up to the principal. If bras aren't in your school's dress code, then she has no right trying to tell you or your DD how to dress! I mean, if she decided that "we" shouldn't wear the color orange, should no one wear orange? Ridiculous! I'm sure she has more pressing matters to worry about than whether or not her students wear bras.
post #77 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
I agree that the principal needs to be in the loop. This is NOT an appropriate topic for a teacher to be sticking her nose in. What would you think if it was a male teacher?
Ditto. The principal absolutely must be made aware of this.

I am outraged on your behalf, Nankay.
post #78 of 130
I think I'd be asking to have my daughter switched to another class by sheer virtue of the fact that if she's talking down to YOU, just imagine how she talks to the kids!

I don't talk down to my children and don't like it when other people do. Heck, my high school guidance counselor used to talk in the third person, ie: "Miss McDonald thinks Jessica needs to blah blah blah," and it was mind boggling.

As for the bra situation, I'd probably be encouraging my kid not to wear one!
post #79 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm
Can I just ask...what does a bra have to do with hygiene?
I was wondering the same thing......
post #80 of 130
"We" also don't wear bras. And since being pregnant and nursing, I have graduated to a D. (Was a C in my pre-mommy days).

Didn't have anything else to add that hasn't already been said 1000 times here... but SHEESH... well, I guess it's been said 1001 times now
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