I'm BEGGING for you to tell me about your 5 yr old!

[mama2myangelWill]

I don't know anyone else who has a 5 yr old boy and anything I've read about the developmental "norm" just ain't so in our house right now. I desperately need some feedback as to what others are/have gone through at this stage.

There is currently no cooperation on anything at all. Simple requests made kindly are ignored even with repeated requests and having his full attention. He refuses to be helpful even if asked kindly, won't pick up any of his things, etc. I am so totally frustrated/hurt by his blatant lack of thought for anyone else in our home and can't believe that I'm raising a child that is so inconsiderate.

He "wants" everything and is extremely persistent when he decides on something - I just know he will be an attorney one day! He is very much a "bargainer" if he feels it will win him what he wants. If I request something of him and he doesn't want to it is outright refusal. Even if I become upset and try to talk to him about how it feels to me when he does this, he just ignores me and walks off. I swear that he doesn't respect anything about me and I'm wondering if I've just done this gentle discipline stuff all wrong or if he's just a spirited child that is very headstrong.

Today has been horrible with at least 4 big instances of ignoring my requests/me - some having to do with safety issues and all starting with me asking kindly and at least 4x before I started to lose it. This last one has just pushed me over the edge and I told him I needed to remove myself from him before I did something I felt bad about and for him to leave me alone for a few minutes. He has, but I just am so frustrated I don't know how I will interact with him when I do go back downstairs!

Just wondering what anyone else has dealt with in the same age group......I have no idea if it's purely a developmental stage.

Thanks!

[HollyBearsMom]

I am running out by have a 5 yo boy too. Will try to post later tonight!

[sparklefairy]

This sounds like my son at five. And now still at six

Some of the things written in Louise Bates Ames's Books ("Your Six Year Old, Your Five Year Old, etc.) have been helpful to me when figuring out, "Is this a phase or a character flaw?" There are things about them that aren't so helpful too, though!

[gaialice]

I am very much in your boat. No listening, no cooperation. And then - spark - exit her sister to run a small half an hour errand - and enter a smart, judicious, well-mannered and helpful 5 and a half little girl. Big hugs...

[HollyBearsMom]

Never got back here last night......

My son is five and on average he is polite, well mannered, kind, caring and shows loads of empathy.

How ever his latest thing is ignoring both me and my DH. Either just not responding or blatantly ignoring us by putting his fingers in his ears, running out of the room or just saying "I don't want to talk about XYZ". I have tried everything from getting down to his level, making picking up a game, leaving the mess, picking it up myself, natural consequences, the works. Personally I think it is just a stage where he is flexing his "muscles" and trying to maintain control in an ever changing environment. He has started a new school where he knows no one, his pre-school friends are in different schools w/ different hours so play dates are hard to arrange. The season has changed too so now he needs more confining clothes (sneakers instead of sandals, sweatshirts instead of tees, etc).

I think the best thing is just to continue modelling good behavior. If he see us talking calmly, being polite, listening etc he will eventually learn to do the same.

(doesn't make the stage any easier though does it! )