How do you help with "what are we going to do next?"

[mamamore]

I know my almost four year old needs help playing and occupying free time. Mine is in a period of difficulty in finding anything to do. I am only trying to get her to find five minutes or something to herself. Often, she is fine when her almost two year old sister is willing to play with her but when her sister is sleeping and I need a break, she can't find a thing to do. I just balked today when she asked me what are we going to do next after I read two books to her. :
I wanted to breathe...How can I encourage her to initiate some independent activities? I feel like there are some children( I know, don't compare...)will play by themselves for a moment.

This is also a concern to me now because she just started a preschool that is very child directed and I want her to explore. Maybe I am answering my own question here but maybe she needs me so much at home because she needs to do it on her own at school?




Jennifer

[Persephone]

Hmm... sounds like you have a very extroverted dd who needs a lot of contact. I would practice a bit of benign neglect- "I'm going to read this book, find something to do." She may whine for a bit, but if she gets bored, she'll figure something out. Another thing you could try if you need a break is doing some meditation with her. Or try yogakids "silly to calm" dvd, which I don't own, and have never used, but it's on our wish list for dd when she gets older.

[hipumpkins]

Does she play with dolls or anything like that? My DD loves me to play beanie babies with her except I stink at pretend play so when I an't take it anymore I say I just have to....(pee, put clothes away, whatever) and DD will continue the pretend play on her own. I also taught her to look at books and pretend she was in them when I needed her to be quit for putting DS down to nap.

[madhurima]

these are awesome suggestions!
My dd is very similar! I have found that the "i am going to read a book now..."
works really well for us, also I have said to her that at this time it is your turn to entertain yourself, and she always goes to her art basket.
this basket is on a small, high table (out of the way of 18 month old bro) but just in her reach and close to her seat at the kitchen table.
and full of blank paper, activity books, safe scissors, glue stick, stickers, pensils, crayons, markers. she will hang there quietly for a LONG time. it is her fail safe space and gives me some quiet! (she is a talker) AND she is in one place, and in sight!!!!!!!!

[cpop]

My dd will let me take it easy if I let her pick a cd out of our cd collection and then she just dances and dances and can't get enough of it.
It she starts asking me to dance with her I just tell her that I'm a little busy but maybe her doll would like to dance with her, and that works.
I occassionally tell her how beautifully she dances or how strong she's getting because dance is such good exercise.
I also try to get her involved in whatever I need to do, so that she can try to find fun in things that aren't just geared towards entertaining her, like cooking and cleaning. She will literally spend twenty minutes vacuming the kitchen if I just turn the vacum cleaner on for her. Worth a try.

[mamamore]

Great Ideas!!! Thanks.

She does help putting things in dishwasher. "folding clothes" but even today she is just following me around the house when I want to type on the computer, look for a phone number....I do think some of it is leaving her at preschool in a new place for the first time. I am trying to be patient but my dh has been away for almost three weeks and I am running on empty and still try to limit tv to just half hour in the morning and half hour at night.

I'll keep trying.

[Roar]

A couple of ideas. Can you get her started on a imaginative scenario and excuse yourself to check the laundry and come back in a bit. Something like setting up the animals in a farm, or getting everything ready for the restaurant and then she can continue on her own for a bit. This helped a lot with my son at that age.