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bi mama roll call! - Page 3

post #41 of 117
post #42 of 117
post #43 of 117
oops again!
post #44 of 117
Hi everyone. Hmm, labels - I guess I am another bi - poly mama. Bisexual doesn't quite cuts it with me but until sapiosexuality catches on... that is how I describe myself for now.

sapiosexuality - To become attracted to or sexually aroused by intelligence and its use.

In other words, I can care less about the plumbing the person is what is important.
post #45 of 117
Originally posted by Indigo73
In other words, I can care less about the plumbing the person is what is important.
Well said! I couldn’t agree more.
post #46 of 117
I can care less about the plumbing the person is what is important.
I like that!!!

I've wondered about whether I may be or not for decades, but have not been in situations to explore the possibilities. I did enjoy my one time with another woman before I'd met DH, and he is quite open to the idea and participating or not as she and I would choose.

for those of you who have close friends that are also intimate with -- how did you transition from the really good friends to the "something more"
My best friend and I may be making this transition. For us it's been time and growing trust, even on things we do differently (like our parenting styles) we know there's more than one way to do most everything. It'll be interesting to see if and where this goes, but I've allowed as I'm open to whatever she's comfortable with. That we both have stable marriages I think helps. Neither of us is a threat to the other's husband.
post #47 of 117
I can so relate, Indigo. I usually express it by saying that I'm attracted to a person, not a gender. That seems to be common to all of the bi women I've known so far... anyone here NOT feel this way? Just wondering how universal this is-- if it somehow lies at the heart of bisexuality, kwim?
post #48 of 117
Yes I also agree, its the person not the parts... but also, for me, it seems like I am attracted to women and men a bit differently (at least in general)... I end up attracted to women I feel I can be friends with, ones who seem to be warm and cuddly... where as with men I tend to be attracted to the 'protective' type... (I think that has a lot to do with how I was raised, things were a bit messed up on some fronts there).

Also I might be physically interested in a man and find out his personality is blah/bad/not suited to me, but *physically* I can still be attracted to him... with a women I loose any and all intrest if her personality isn't a match/"good"/ect, AND have also had instances of not being attracted to a women until I really got to know her personality well.

So its a little funny for me... but I do agree its about who the person is, not their equipment...
post #49 of 117
Word up. :LOL

I identified as lesbian for years and have been in a relationship with dp (male) for over 4 years now! We are monogamous.

post #50 of 117
I have a question for you all and hope that is alright.

Do you ever think that self Iding as bi is like saying you're a mama who respirates? Meaning, everyone is bi on some level, they just don't self Id as such?

I've always thought we all are bi...but certainly have every option to choose sexual experiences in whatever way we want. Be attracted to women but choose het sex experiences, or view women/women porn but express sexuality in a hetero relationship...the endless options out there (thankfully).
post #51 of 117
I have often thought the same thing, but I don't think that anyone who doesn't ID as bi thinks that way, kwim?
post #52 of 117
Yes, that makes sense.

Of course, coming out as bi (for example) has social, political, personal, economic, religious, etc. implications that saying, "I'm a mama who breathes' doesn't. And I know for me at least, saying 'I'm bi' whether or not I express any bisexuality openly, has ALOT to do with overcoming my religious upbringing and various ick gender, sexual stereotypes I've learned growing up.

Sometimes, though, when a friend does come out as bi, I think, 'of course you are!' I hope that doesn't sound harsh. I don't mean that I know what people's sexuality is...just that, imo, we have a long history as bisexual beings in the human race.

And every intelligent writer and thinker I've ever read was openly bi! It's a wonderful group to self ID with.
post #53 of 117
The first openly bi person I ever loved was Ani...

*sigh* :LOL and I don't even mean like *that*
post #54 of 117
post #55 of 117
I'm officially coming out. I've always been attracted to both, although I've only been in relationships with men. My attempts at exploring my attraction for women hasn't been successful in the past. Partly because I wasn't really up front with myself about it. I tried to sneak it in through 3 somes which ended up being with women not interested. Now I'm married. Before we got married I told dh that I fantasized about women, but never got to the point of really being clear about it. Anyway, recently I've been coming to terms with it. Learning to understand who I am. Dh has been extremely supportive, I can't believe how lucky I am. I was worried that he would feel threatened by this, but he isn't. It is so nice to finally be able to talk about, as I've stuffed it and ignored it for many years. Still kinda overwhelming though.
post #56 of 117
Arduinna. . . Good for you for coming out. I know it can be hard to first admit to yourself what you really feel, nevermind to those around you. It's great that you have a husband who understands and supports you. Having support from the one you love will only make it easier for you should you decide to out yourself later on (to friends and family).
post #57 of 117
I hardly coem here anymore cuz I'm so buys, but I wanted to add that I am bi with a guy. It's been a lil rough b/c I'm missing women (and I don't even ahve much "experience", but I prefer women for the most part) I have also been meeting more gay/ bi moms lately (which is not very common in VT!) and they are all attractive, YIKES.. I am not into the open relationship thing andi am very much in love wiht SO, but it is hard sometimes.. BUt, I am very thankful to be meeting more Bi/queer mamas
post #58 of 117
Way to go, Arduinna! Hip, hip hooray! Just live with it for a while and it will get less overwhelming. I promise!

Glad to see you here. Glad your Dh is being supportive.
post #59 of 117
Thanks Nicke and Tara
post #60 of 117
sorry to go T two questions:

1 how do I deal with people that don't know what to say when they find out? I know it's about them and not me.

2 dang, are my friends going to all think I'm interested in them now?

ok, one more question

anyone have any site or book recommendations for me. I am not looking for personal ads. I'd really love something that has a focus on married bi females.

feel free to pm it too me, if you don't want to post it.

thanks you guys.
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