Originally Posted by dukeswalker
: I've nursed while sitting on the pot..... : just so dd wouldn't have to cry all alone....
With our foster daughter (the aforementioned 16-month-old), we are actively teaching her to self-soothe more and fall back to sleep when she wakes up and doesn't need anything (like a bottle or a diaper change). Usually she just fusses - which is very different than a cry - so we let her go at it for 10 minutes. If she escalates or go longer, then we go in and soothe her for a few minutes and leave again. (foster parents aren't allowed to co-sleep).
If this were my forever baby, I may not choose to do this in the way, but she's going to be going to live with a family member soon and I *know* they're going to just let her CIO, so if we can teach her to sleep better through our modified CIO, then she won't have to learn through hardcore CIO.
She knows that we'll usually think to give her teething tabs when she seems to need them, we'll always change her poopy diapers, and we'll give her a bottle when she really wants one.
During the day, she's in the room with one of us almost all the time, but when we think she's up for it, we'll leave her alone to play for as long as she's willing. She needs to learn to be alone for short periods because we have no idea how often that will happen when she leaves us. We have to give her skills that, maybe, our "own" baby wouldn't need at her age.
Doing foster care and having to tread the line between what I think I'd rather do and what I know the babies will experience when they leave me has really made me think long and hard about what I truly find important.