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Start of labor? REALLY FREAKING..... - Page 2

post #21 of 71
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by soon2b3
Sorry if I've overstepped any boundaries but my son's father did this to me also, but we were sooooo much better off without him!
No need to apologise whatsoever

Well hes gone out now.... And my best friend is now flying down from up in Auckland for 4 days, she lands tomorrow so thats great. Thanks for your replies too it's been kinda a difficult time.
post #22 of 71
so good your friend is coming. glad you have that support. shame on your dp, terrible timing for a freakout; hope he comes to his senses soon. hang in there! may you have a beautiful labor in spite of the drama, and enjoy that sweet baby when s/he arrives. thinking of you!

nak
post #23 of 71
Thread Starter 
Well DP went out but said he'd be home and early, so I spent the whole evening getting excited when I heard a car pull up thinking it would be him... At 11pm I messaged him asking him if he was going to be much longer cos I would leave the key outside for him (He had his own key but lost it) and he messaged me back saying he was having some drinks and would be staying somewhere else for the night. As dissapointed and upset as I was (And yes I'm nervous - I hate being here by myself especially when the pains are getting worse) I messaged him back again saying to have fun... And he had a go at me for being grumpy and said this was ruining us and he wasn't happy.... And I'm fairly sure he's with someone else too.... And I'm not one of those paranoid people or anything like that. Just from what he's been saying and doing and the staying somewhere else thing...

I don't know what else to do, I can't do this. He told me when I first found out I was preg that I didn't have to worry, things would be OK... Things are nowhere near OK!!! We've kinda been up and down but things were going so well.... I trusted him. The last guy who said that things would be OK when I found out I was preg (I was 19 then) made me have an abortion when I really didn't want one, things weren't OK then either it destroyed me.... So this time I should have known better.... I know we're young (Well 21 - Youngish) and it's not exactly the easiest thing... But why did he have to do this NOW, why not a few months ago so I could have adjusted...??? Instead he leaves right at the last instant right completely alone when I think I may be in early labor....?! And I'm scared... I really really can't do this

I feel so stupid writing all this but I don't know what else to say.... Or do... Or think... Or feel.... It's just too hard.
post #24 of 71

way easier said than done, but try to just focus on you and the baby ... imo he obviously has some selfish issues to deal with and there's nothing you can do to change that now. i feel for you!!!! i'm glad i have had some months to adjust to the father of my son not being here for his child, but it's still frustrating, no word no nothing since he left at the beginning of april. you are strong and beautiful and you dont need him, you have yourself and your dd and you're loved ones. plus you have us!!!
post #25 of 71
Absolutely! Sometimes we just think that we 'need' someone in our lives but when you take a step back and look at who this person is you might find that you don't need them at all. IMO he's not the right one at the moment, he might even be the type of man who gets jealous of the attention a new baby gets. Maybe he'll grow up later but who knows.
You are the most important person that you will ever meet, you need to be supported and comforted and fussed over. It is certainly not the time for you to be emotionally chasing after someone.
It's a horrible feeling when you find yourself waiting by a phone that doesn't ring or thinking that he'll come home when he doesn't. He has the power at the moment and I'll tell you right now that he doesn't sound like he deserves it!
Wishing you empowerment (if that isn't a real word it should be!)
post #26 of 71
Not from your DDC but I wanted to come in and offer you a

I don't know what to say about your situation. I can imagine how hurt and angry I would feel if my dp did this to me. I want to tell you that you need to focus on you and your little one. This is most important above all else.

I am glad your best friend is coming to be with you. This will really help you emotionally ... I think
post #27 of 71
Sending big your way. I'm sitting here in tears for you. It sounds to me like he doesn't deserve you. I know this has to be hard for you. I'm glad you have a friend coming down to support you. Just concentrate on you and your sweet little baby that will be here soon. I wish I had the magic words to make it all better, but I can at least offer you a

Take care of yourself and try to relax. Take a nice bath, drink some tea, find your relaxation spot.

post #28 of 71
you know it's really better he is figuring this out NOW and not in a year. you surely can't see that now while you are in the middle of it..but who needs this?!? I am so sorry mama! and I am so glad to hear your friend is coming to stay with you! Surround yourself with those who love you. don't torture yourself any longer with your BF..at least for right now. there will be plenty of time for that later.
post #29 of 71
Rainbowsmum, I'm so glad you will have your friend with you. As everyone else said... take care of yourself, take time to center down on yourself and your baby, and do your best to put him out of your mind and your mental birth space.
You don't need his negativity as you go into this amazing and intense experience. Make a partnership with your baby... you'll get through this birth, and whatever comes, together. I'm the daughter of a single mom--we are still a great team, and she will be there with me when I deliver. You can do it!
post #30 of 71
I'm not from your DDC, but I wanted to stop in and give you lots of hugs.
post #31 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diprincess
Sending big your way. I'm sitting here in tears for you. It sounds to me like he doesn't deserve you. I know this has to be hard for you. I'm glad you have a friend coming down to support you. Just concentrate on you and your sweet little baby that will be here soon. I wish I had the magic words to make it all better, but I can at least offer you a

Take care of yourself and try to relax. Take a nice bath, drink some tea, find your relaxation spot.

:

It just makes me crazy that someone would do this to you now. Yes it is better now than a yr from now...but gees!!! Some men I'll never understand.
post #32 of 71
I'm not from your ddc, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry, but I do really believe you can do this.

It makes me so mad that he would choose now to walk out! I don't think it's an age thing, though, it's a maturity thing. My friend's dp walked out when their son was a toddler and he's 36 years old!

I love the advice to make a partnership with your baby that you'll get through it together. Lean on all the supportive people in your life.
post #33 of 71
Oh Mama,

I can so identify!!! My first partner, who said it would all be great and who couldn't wait to have a baby, went nutso when we actually got pregnant (we were 19) I left him during the pregnancy but took him back a month before the birth. He was okay in that selfish kinda way, for a few months, then things got really nasty. I gave him the boot when DD was 6 months and it was the BEST thing I ever did for her and me!!

I remeber that feeling of dispare. I remeber jumping when the phone rang or someone knocked at the door. I remeber hoping it would be him, that he somehow would have changed and realized what a huge mistake he was making. That he somehow found the place in him that wanted to be a father and husband.

I wish there were someway to ease your pain right now. His timing could not be worse!! I'm so glad your friend is coming to be with you. Try to focus on yourself and your baby. Regardless of what he does this is your baby, you are the mother....or as I like to say MAMA BEAR....grrr watchout Mr. or she'll go mama bear on ya!!!!! Oh, I just want to smack him!!!!! Don't allow his insecurity to comprimise your birthing or bonding time with your sweet child. You can do this without him!!!!! And if he's the kinda guy to pull a stunt like this then you are better off without him!!

Much love to you dear mama, and sweet baby. You are in our thoughts and prayers!
post #34 of 71
honey can't you stay at your moms until you have the baby. Maybe she can offer you some love and support if you tell her all that is happening. I feel so much for you. Sending strong good vibes your way.
post #35 of 71
Thread Starter 
Thankyou all so much for your replies After all that happened he messaged me saying he would be home "sometime later" so I put out the key for him, and well he never showed - He came home midday and went strait to bed, got up at 5pm and is gone to some party, my best friend is here now so I know he won't be back for about 4 days, and more importantly I know I won't be on my own for at least a few days. I know I'm better off without him, I just hate how much it hurts, and it makes me livid to think I was so stupid in beleiving all the things he said. Someone further up said something about it not being an age thing but a maturity thing, and thinking about it thats totally correct, some people no matter what age never actually mature, and I'm the same age as him (Well 6 months younger) and I know it's slightly different being a famale in this position than a male but still I'm not exactly immature like that. Right now I'm trying to focus on being calm - For baby at least. The pain / cramps are still there but haven't wosened any... So now I just wait and see how it goes. Unfortunatly I can't stay at my Mothers, me and my step-dad don't exactly get along. But for now I'm not by myself so that helps some...

And thanks again... Really you've all been great and supportive
post #36 of 71
Rainbowsmum -
You are loved, you are beautiful, you are wonderful, and you are worth SO MUCH MORE than what he's putting you through. You are a warrior woman with strength inside you, even if it doesn't feel like it right now - you will have this baby no matter what happens, you will love her and raise her and be a wonderful mother.
Remember these things.
post #37 of 71
do whatever you have to, to protect yourself and your baby from him..I am so sorry he is choosing to hurt you at a time you need him most, but like I said before you are better off seeing his true colors now..believe me!

when are you due btw? what will you do after your friend leaves? can anyone else come stay with you? have you tried posting in the tribal area of MDC also for some help?

I am thinking of you
post #38 of 71

You can do this! If he isn't a part of this special event, it's HIS loss. And maybe someday when he grows up he will realize it, but it's not worth your precious energy at this point.

It will be such an amazing time for you and just think how exciting it will be to meet your little one
I'm so glad that your friend is there with you. Keep us posted!
post #39 of 71
I think April had a great idea, by the way-- if you need help in any way, don't hesitate to post on the tribal area. We have some very kind mamas here
post #40 of 71
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
when are you due btw?
I'm meant to be due (According to scan dates) on the 25th, but the original day they said I was due when I had my first scan was the 19th, and by when I had my period I would be due on the 18th... But I just say the 25th.

I'll go look in the tribal area, I never actually thought of that...

Thanks mamas
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