Creating rythym in the days

[MRizzuto]

I am a believer in all I read about the importance of rhythm in the days, especially for younger children -- the problem is that I can't seem to keep to it. There always seems to be something that takes me away from my best laid plans. Does anyone have any thoughts as to how to begin to create and keep rhythm going in the days?

With much appreciation,
Margaret

Keep knocking, and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who's there.
~Rumi

[kel]

You sound like you've read "Seven Times the Sun"? If not, you'd probably love it. I'm the same way, so no advice here! I'd love to have a better rhythm to our days, but am the queen of disorganization. I know one of the things thats reccomended is starting small, with 1 or 2 things at first, rather than trying to revamp your whole day all at once.

[larsy]

deleted

[Ryan]

I would agree with larsy. I've learned that my children really have their own rhythm and I try my best to be true to that. They really don't like running around to activities or on errands very much. I try to keep our days simple for them. We have established a good rhythm to our week anyway. On m/w/f we go to the Y in the morning so I can workout and they can do arts and crafts during that time. On t/th we stay pretty relaxed and do whatever projects we feel like. Every day after lunch we have story time. My 3 yo ds chooses some books he would like me to read and when we've finished with those my almost 6 yo dd chooses which of our chapter books (Harry Potter, Little House, etc) she would like us to read together. Ds usually falls asleep on the sofa during this time and dd and I read until our voices get tired. If ds is still sleeping we use this time to work on projects or games that are difficult to do while he is awake. By late afternoon they watch their two favorite pbs shows while I have some time to myself or join them. Then it's time to prepare dinner and begin our evening routine (which is actually very similar to our daytime routine minus the tv). This rhythm has developed out of my understanding of how they like to spend their days best. Of course, we typically get together with friends once a week and may do other activities outside our house but I've learned that, for them, being home is most important. Having a rhythm to that time at home makes a big difference for us. We all know what to expect and learn best in this environment. Just my 2 cents.

[Linda in Arizona]

This, like most things, is different for all families. My kids were totally unscheduled as babies but as they become toddlers they seem to need more routine. I am also very much a routine person. With routines, things get done and the days seem to flow. I think that routines or rythms are just about doing the same things in the same order. For example, we sit on the couch and read for a while after lunch. My kids enjoy this time and look forward to it.

We have lots of routines. I think that rather than starting out my trying to have your whole day have a rythm, it would be much easier to start out by having a morning and evening routine. Then add an after lunch routine. Perhaps a weekly plan (for activities that you only do once a week).

[Raven1]

Man, and I thought *I* was the Queen of disorganization, lol! Yes, this is something my son, at 19, requires some of to function at his best. We are "Unschoolers"(after trial and error with a more structured approach) but still.. he really needs/wants set times and schedules so we try to do that (but with a toddler always on hand, the best laid plans often get postponed
he likes to do some "paperwork"/"assignments" (like a math sheet, spelling tests, writing work, either on the computer or by hand(different things, imo)) Also, karate or other sports and weekly activities like skating matter a lot to him. He just thrives when he knows what to expect and "tweeks" when he doesn't!!
And of course, we do outings and such, but he is, by nature, one who wants more structure than out life often provides! So I strive to provide it, but sometimes don't.
We decided recently to make up a "plan" for every mth. and post it so we both can know what and when and make more of an effort to stick to it. (sometimes I feel so inadequate in that dept.
We are working on reading together every night(instead of just every few nights) and having a family game night. Both of which are sort of in limbo due to toddler demands(she tends to disrupt our games and interupt our reading; just being 2, not maliciously
But I have realized that he is a "high needs" child in this regard; (as is his sister). He demands a pretty high level of stimulation/one on one to thrive. (not "dev. disabled" but the opposite. Very bright, to the point that everyone remarks on it at first meeting. Nice in a way and of course I am happy for him/proud, but such kids really ARE far more demanding than "average." Of course, that is just the reason he was not satisfied by conventional schooling!)
I too think routine/ritual is important, as long as there is ample flexibility involved. A basic framework within which to explore and move and make changes as needed/desired. Not too much and not too little/none. A delicate balance. Gee, I think we should get a big ol' tax break for homeschooling, LOL! Kimberly, mom to Forest, 9 (going on 78 and Lily, 2 (well on her way to catching up!

[rsps]

I's second "Seven Times the SUn" as a good book for ideas.

My problem with ryhtym is my and dh work schedules are so crazy, It's hard to keep any consistency in the day. DS's first question almost e ery day is "are you going to work today" sometime's "where's daddy" is first because this Semester DH has to be at work at 7:00am 4 days a week, and DS doesn't wake up until after he's gone. Then there's my schedule 3 days a week. on Monday after DH get's home from his 7am class I leave for work from 11am-8pm then I worj on either Fri or Sat 9:30-5:30 and then Sun 1-5. It's hard to keep track of, let alone find a rythym to it.

[Raven1]

OOPS! Meant to type my son is 9, not 19

[gloriousfour]

Hi, everyone! I am new.

I hope it is ok to jump in.

I will also testify to the usefullness of Seven Times The Sun and even add another wonderful book for Parents with children Birth to Seven Years, You Are Your Child's First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin.

My children are so wonderful when we follow each other's rythmn of the day. However, we do have many outside distractions. My three dd's and I are homeschooling. There seems to be so much more to do now that there older (dd's 6,6, & 5).

Thanks for alowing my 2 cents.

[lilyka]

I am so not a scheduled person. I don't awaken at the same time daily, there is no pattern to my eating, I never do anything in any sort of order. I was so excited to be the kind of parent that didn't schedule stuff, unschool, etc . .

Enter dd. You could have set your clock by this child. She ate every three hours on the dot. Napped at precisely the same time every day (if she was up playing when her nap time rolled around she fall over where she was asleep). So we had a schedule, and I had to respect her schedule (ie get home for her nap or be somewhere here she could stay in er carseat or stroller for at least 1 1/2 hours) or I would pay for it all day. She also needs a schedule for school. As soon as she sees me in the morning (she gets up before me on most days) she asks Where are we going? (always dissapointed to hear no where ) When I mention oing focused school work she has to know what order we are doing it in, what the assignments are (as if I have some sort of plan : ) and what we will do as soon as we are finished for the rest of the day. It drives me crazy because I want to be that organized but can't.

Anyway, i will have to read that book. I have always wondered if I will feel better if I had more consistancy to my day but juyst haven't been able to get there.