How to teach a baby no? - Page 2

[TripMom]

You are welcome!

[daniedb]

What wonderful advice, I'm learning a lot from this thread. I love the suggestions here - and I'll add mine! Even now, at 2 1/2, we generally don't use NO unless it's a big deal...he's about to clobber someone or hit the window with a hammer. Mostly, I use "Uh-oh!" as a subsitute - I started it when he was very young, and accompanied with it, "Uh-oh! That could be a big owie for Henry, let's play with this toy instead!" Now when he hears "uh-oh!" he knows that it's not a great decision to play with it, and he almost always moves on to something else without physical interference.

[bartleby]

Very helpful article, TripMom. Thanks! I emailed it to my husband at work, too. That explains why my daughter was repeatedly throwing sand at the park yesterday despite my repeated (gentle) directions to her to stop. She couldn't help herself!

I don't imagine, though, that the involuntary "no!" from a parent is all that damaging to a small child. I mean, that is usually the first thing that flies out of my mouth, particularly in potentially dangerous situations. But I always supply more words along with it--e.g., "Oh no, honey, sand is for playing with on the ground, not throwing at the slide." Or, "Ahhh! Honey, no! Doggie doesn't like her tail pulled. It hurts her." That's not the same as just shouting "No!" all the time, is it?

[Lady Madonna]

We try to limit "no!" and serious voices to situations that are physically dangerous to DD. A friend of mine - my AP ideal - used the phrase "hands off, please" with her twin boys. Along with redirection and/or demonstrating gentle touch, it seemed to work really well, so we use it too - less now that she's older, but we still find it useful on occasion. I'm sure we'll use it with the new baby, too.

[Storm Bride]

I do find myself saying "no" and "don't" sometimes, but I try to teach my little ones by actions. For me, the big one is my glasses. I wear them all day, and dd used to constantly try to grab them. First of all, I don't want them broken (both dd and ds1 have broken my glasses at some point...with ds1, I was broke, and ended up without glasses for about 8 years). Second, I hate things getting into my face...fingers, toys, whatever - drives me nuts. All I did was gently peel her fingers off the frames, and say "glasses aren't for touching" (well...I did say "no" and "don't"...but usually not). Eventually, she figured out that my glasses weren't a toy. It works - it just takes a long time.

DS2 is in the catbox phase right now. We don't have anywhere around here that we can put it, so it's driving me quietly crazy. We take him out, wash his hands, and tell him that the "litter box is only for kitties". It hasn't worked yet, but it will...