Please, I'm not in this particular forum much and I'm sure there have been many similar posts so if anyone can direct me to one to read I'd be very grateful.
I have an almost-3-yr-old ds, energetic, happy, mostly pleasant to be around. We try to be gentle and positive in our discipline (not that we don't yell now and then in frustration, but we're trying), and mostly things are going fine.
But my ds has for the past couple of months been kicking our cat. Not terribly hard, but I don't think he really thinks about that. We generally tell him it's not okay, he's scaring and hurting the cat - and the consequence is that the cat avoids him, even when he wants to pet or play with her. I pick him up or move him away from the cat and encourage her to go down to the basement where he does not go. I also try to be positive when I see him being nice to the cat. (And he is sometimes very nice. For example, he came with me to take her to a boarding place when we went away, and when she was crying in the car I explained she was scared, so he started soothing and calming her, telling her it was going to be okay, and when we arrived he opened her box to pet her gently while we waited.) But when we tell him not to kick her, he laughs.
He kicks us also sometimes and laughs (even when we're clearly upset). But that's easier to deal with in a way that seems productive. (e.g. we stop what we're doing and say "I can't let you hurt me, I'm going to do X in the other room until you're ready for us to finish Y together" etc.) It doesn't get rid of the behaviour, but there's a more immediate and definite natural consequence.
What can we do? I feel so bad for our poor, long-suffering cat!!! I'm so frustrated at my ds!!!
I have an almost-3-yr-old ds, energetic, happy, mostly pleasant to be around. We try to be gentle and positive in our discipline (not that we don't yell now and then in frustration, but we're trying), and mostly things are going fine.
But my ds has for the past couple of months been kicking our cat. Not terribly hard, but I don't think he really thinks about that. We generally tell him it's not okay, he's scaring and hurting the cat - and the consequence is that the cat avoids him, even when he wants to pet or play with her. I pick him up or move him away from the cat and encourage her to go down to the basement where he does not go. I also try to be positive when I see him being nice to the cat. (And he is sometimes very nice. For example, he came with me to take her to a boarding place when we went away, and when she was crying in the car I explained she was scared, so he started soothing and calming her, telling her it was going to be okay, and when we arrived he opened her box to pet her gently while we waited.) But when we tell him not to kick her, he laughs.
He kicks us also sometimes and laughs (even when we're clearly upset). But that's easier to deal with in a way that seems productive. (e.g. we stop what we're doing and say "I can't let you hurt me, I'm going to do X in the other room until you're ready for us to finish Y together" etc.) It doesn't get rid of the behaviour, but there's a more immediate and definite natural consequence.
What can we do? I feel so bad for our poor, long-suffering cat!!! I'm so frustrated at my ds!!!
