First time - what do I ask???

[risen_joy]

Hi all!

I have 2 interviews/consultations set up with 2 different mw's...and I am at a loss of what to ask!! Is there a certain ettiquette (sp?) with it all? Is it ok to ask about finances (we are NOT rich at ALL) as in sliding scale stuff?

What questions did all of you ask that really helped you make your decision? I know some people have said just how they feel around them...but I don't want to come without ANYTHING to ask! : This is a first time HB for us too.

Thanks for your input!!!

Ellie

[kathan12904]

I think that it is perfectly reasonable to bring up cost issues immedeatly. The best thing to do is be really straight forward. Other important things to consider are questions for yourself about what you want. Do you want medical care outside of the normal medical atmosphere, or are you looking for a really traditional midwife who doesn't use as many medical tools but relies more on a relationship with you and a more spiritual approach. Are there specific things that you want to avoid or are concerned about? Ask her about those things. Also:
How many births have you done total?
How many per month? (more than 8 or 9 might mean she is overworked, depending on her support team)
Do you have a backup?
How many transfers have you had? Emergent?
How many fetal deaths? Maternal deaths?
Do you know/are you certified in neonatal resucitation (sp?)?
Are you certified with any midwife organizations?
What are your personal experiences with birth?
Your philosophies?
Have you delivered breech/malpositioned babies?
Do you allow water births?Doulas?

Add on:
It was really more of an intangible thing that helped me settle on my midwife. Its more about how you click with a person than what the answers to any quesitons are. These are just more about finding warning signs or habits that you might want to know about before you start to decide.

[pigpokey]

A suggestion I heard someone make IRL to watch some birth videos that the midwife has done is a good one. I think many of them have videos in their libraries that the client on the video is fine sharing ... Also, ask around about reputation, (take with a grain of salt, but reputation can be useful in determining what questions you may need to ask), and try to talk with a happy client who's birthed with the midwife and an unhappy one. If you know what a midwife's typical strengths and shortcomings are, you may better predict the fit with you.

Along those lines, perhaps I would ask the midwife what is it about her that makes some clients love her; and what have clients considered her faults in the past.

[Emilie]

good luck!

[risen_joy]

Great stuff guys! Thanks!!! Anyone else - feel free to add, I'd love to get as much info as I can!

[sapphire_chan]

And judging by another thread posted today, you're going to want to ask if there's a rate change if you go "overdue". Just in case.

[laohaire]

Next time around, I will add another question to the midwife interview. I'll pick some complication (maybe a couple) and ask her how she'd handle it.

I really liked my midwife and we clicked pretty well, but one thing I liked about her turned out to be a drawback. I liked that she was really calm and laid back.

My mother, who is an RN, is like that too. My mom can deal with emergencies really well, she's cool and thinks on her feet, and takes care of stuff. If the emergency is really stressful, she'll break down later, but not while she's needed. Anyway, I assumed that the midwife was similar.

However, she was laid back to an extreme - and didn't seem to be the type to respond quite as urgently to a situation that might have warranted a stronger response. We all turned out ok but I thought it could be a useful question for you, you could learn a lot, not only about how appropriately she acts, but also any hidden quirks (like a deep hatred of doctors that might interfere in case of a transfer - which could come out in a story where she might describe the extent she tried to avoid a transfer or got into a situation with a doctor - or anything like that).