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Should puberty affect ability to stay home alone?  

post #1 of 12
9/16/06 at 1:36pm
Thread Starter 
I'm in a debate with a neighbor over this..

My 13yo hasnt hit puberty yet, but we leave him home alone quite often. He comes home from school and is alone daily for a few hours, and in the summer he's home alone. We have good rules setup for him while home alone and we have not had problems. Yet, my neighbor and my friend tells me that she thinks its not safe, not right to leave a prepubescent boy home alone like we do. What would you all do? Should puberty affect staying home alone overtop age? If so, why?
post #2 of 12
9/16/06 at 1:42pm
No, why would it? I know 16, 18, even 30 year olds who aren't that responsible. As long as your state laws allow him to be home alone, then I don't see a problem in your situation.
post #3 of 12
9/16/06 at 4:03pm
Puberty alone should not affect his ability to stay home alone. If your son starts ahving guests over that you do not approve of then that would be an issue. That was the problem when I was an older teen-having boys over when my mom wasn't home. But I was obviously not a responsible teen. Hopefully Karma will cut me some slack with my own teen
post #4 of 12
9/16/06 at 4:11pm
OP: Thinking back to when I was younger, I'd be inclined to take the opposite view to your neighbour, if anything. I know I was more responsible before my hormones started acting up, and it would have been safer to leave me at hom alone before puberty than during it!

Is she thinking that prepubescent kids are physically smaller/weaker and less able to defend themselves or something? That sounds odd to me.
post #5 of 12
9/16/06 at 4:24pm
I think what it is she thinks puberty makes boys stupid and their for untrustworthy. I personaly think if you can trust him you should allow him to stay home. His actions will tell you when and if to stop.
post #6 of 12
9/16/06 at 4:35pm
Yeah, I'm not getting the connection either.

There are a hundred ways to evaluate whether he should be home alone, but pre- or post-puberty wouldn't be one of them for me anyway.
post #7 of 12
9/16/06 at 5:03pm
We are talking about physical development here, and I don't quite understand how a teen phsyically looks should have any effect as to what responsibilites they are given. The depth of responsibilty given has to do with mental maturity, not physical. There a many teens who look very much physically like adults but are very much mentally still kids, and likewise there are lots that physically still look like children but mentally are very mature. I think that as long as you trust your son, and feel he is mentally mature enough to stay home then that's just fine.
post #8 of 12
9/16/06 at 6:10pm
So... it's not okay to leave a prepubescent 13 year old at home... does that mean she thinks it's okay to leave an 11 year old at home if they've hit puberty? 100% honestly, I'm just wondering.
post #9 of 12
9/16/06 at 10:33pm

Interesting!

My 13yods *needs* to be alone sometimes. We have 4 dc and he is very tired after a long day at school. He needs more sleep these days, too. Or he likes to watch TV or something and just chill out. Most of the time he prefers to run the errand with me or whatever (I am a SAHM), because he enjoys that talking time in the car. But I let him stay home. He doesn't have friends over when he's alone and he doesn't go anywhere alone.



Just another thought, because I am a somehwat paranoid homeschooler (although he goes to PS)....be careful. Sometimes nosy neighbors will be quick to turn you over to social services.
post #10 of 12
9/17/06 at 10:39am
Thread Starter 
OK .. Thankfully I think like you all.

Just more of a check of sanity in posting this, its always good to get other opinions. I have been known to have been wrong.. just once.. before

I also think his alone time is a good thing, everyone needs their own time even kids.
post #11 of 12
9/26/06 at 1:59pm
That sounds rediculous to me! If that were the case, I wouldn't have been allowed to stay home alone for a looooong time. LOL Also, I have a sister that is 13 and she has stayed home alone before. (Though a lot of the time my 17yo sister is there too, but not all the time.)
post #12 of 12
9/27/06 at 1:36pm
I was a pretty late bloomer- didn't get my period until 15 or 16 (don't remember). You can be mature in your mind, even if your body doesn't show it.

Yes, let your son be home alone if you think he's mentally okay with it and handling it fine.
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