Originally Posted by twinvillageiowa
I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in how good bfing is that they forget that not everyone wants to/can do it. Formula is not as good as breast milk, but so what? If it was sooo terrible, people would all be bfing. Babies need to grow, and whatever is going to make them do that is what they should have. Just remind people that just because they were able to/decided to bf, doesn't mean that it works for everyone.
I never forget that some people don't want to. It's part of the reason why some women are so quick to judge pookel - they automatically assume that she's not breastfeeding just because she doesn't feel like it or didn't feel like putting enough effort into it. (The other part of the reason is just thoughtlessness.) If everyone who was physically and emotionally able to breastfeed did breastfeed, then when a mother was forced to formula feed due to circumstances she couldn't control, no one would assume that she was doing it just because she didn't care about the benefits of breastfeeding.
Pookel, I'm sorry you often feel judged. I imagine it must be very, very difficult, because first you have to deal with the feelings of loss, then instead of getting support from others, you get the additional burden of being judged.
That just sucks. Unfortunately, I think there is no hope of getting through to an adult who can't understand that sometimes breastfeeding really is not possible. It's evidence of a touch of immaturity, don't you think? I've found that immature, ignorant people are impossible to educate, so I don't bother. (I'm not in your position, but I just mean in general.) As far as resisting the urge to lash out, well, I don't know. I have to deal with that urge pretty frequently because DH's family is mainstream, uneducated and judgmental
about everyone who isn't like them. I just breathe deeply, state my case in two sentences or less, then change the subject. Either that or walk away - whichever works better right at that moment.