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Appropriate Weight for a 12-13 Year Old Girl

post #1 of 40
9/17/06 at 4:04pm
Thread Starter 
My daughter will be thirteen this fall, and she is around 5'3''-5'4'' tall. She is 105 pounds, which I think is perfectly normal. She wants to slim down to 95 or so. I'm making sure that she is doing this healthily, but is 95 too small? I don't think she needs to lose weight but I'm not going to stop her unless it gets unhealthy. She is only eliminating lots of junk foods (not carbs altogether, I made sure of that) from her diet.

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post #2 of 40
9/17/06 at 4:09pm
That's too thin. She's already slender at her current weight (at the bottom of the recommended range for her height). If she wants to improve her diet, eat more healthfully, or build more muscle, that's great. However, seeking to lose weight when she is nowhere near overweight is not a good idea for a young teen (or anyone else for that matter!). Dieting in and of itself is a risk factor for developing an eating disorder.
post #3 of 40
9/17/06 at 4:41pm
I'm 5'3" and prior to pregnancy I weighed 90 lbs. I think it was my metabolism though. I didn't try to diet or anything. I ate quite a bit of food too (heh heh- I still do).

The doctors always told me that I was underweight and were concerned about eating disorders.

I'd just show your daughter healthy foods to eat and not focus on dieting persay. I know that my friend when we were in school was told she *couldn't* diet and it just pushed her to do it more.
post #4 of 40
9/17/06 at 4:47pm
I have a 13 year old who weighs around 120. Since she has "developed" she has put on quite a bit of weight...she is not fat by any means but she has very large boobs!! I don't know where they came from but they are D cups. I didn't have D cups until after my second child. I guess my point is that if the kid is not fat then you have to look at other things that might make the scale tip farther than what she would prefer. Is there anyway to get rid of the scale? We have never had one but my current roommate keeps his in the bathroom so now we all know we weigh...he is moving out next week so this issue will be resolved soon!!
post #5 of 40
9/17/06 at 5:03pm
At 13 she's still growing and needs calories for growth and energy. If she wants to eat better foods or take up a sport that's one thing, but dieting should absolutely be discouraged.
post #6 of 40
9/17/06 at 5:47pm
I'll not consider a diet for her, but when I was 13 I was 5'3 and 89 pounds, no kidding but that's my metabolism, I think eating healthy food it will be the best, but I mean, why putting her weight down?? She's just 13, doe she plays any sport, dancing classes? that helps
post #7 of 40
9/17/06 at 6:18pm
My Dd is 5'4 ish and she weighs around 105. It's just the way she is, and I suspect her body will change over the years as bodies normally do. I would tell her that health is the best goal when examining diet... not weight. Avoiding junk food is fine if she is so inclined.
post #8 of 40
9/17/06 at 6:24pm
i think she is just fine and would be worried that she wants to lose weight

why is she wanting to lost weight?
post #9 of 40
9/17/06 at 6:45pm
Thread Starter 
To an earlier poster- yes, she takes dance classes, basketball, etc. A variety of sports. She is very active.

mandib50- she's goal oriented. Whenever she decides to do something she gets it done, and I guess she's just looking for something else to excel in. Of course weight is not a game, and I will make sure that she doesn't go too far.
post #10 of 40
9/17/06 at 7:36pm
Keep her with her afternoon sports? maybe she wants to put her weight down becuase they told her at school? Have you asked her?
post #11 of 40
9/17/06 at 8:23pm
The general rule for women is - 5 feet = 100 pounds, add five pounds for every inch. So she's already well on the low end of her weight spread. "Too far" is dieting AT ALL when you're young, active, and already thin.
post #12 of 40
9/18/06 at 8:52pm
She's already VERY thin. Dieting at all would wreak havoc on her future metabolism and be VERY unhealthy in the here and now.

BTW, NiteNicole, that rule doesn't generally work. 100 pounds is around the very low end of "acceptable BMI" for a 5' tall woman. According to BMI, a woman could be 130 pounds and 5' tall and still not be overweight.

I don't believe in BMI for the most part, however -- IMO, you should never lose weight unless you are developing diabetes, clogged arteries, etc. -- a health problem -- because of your weight.
post #13 of 40
9/18/06 at 8:58pm
My 11 year old is 60#. she is perfectly sized for her height, but she is small compared to her 100#+ friends in the 5th grade. But I am small framed too, and at 5'5, I was 98# until I had kids. I think if that is the weight that comes naturally, then so be it. I never tried to be that thin, and I would not want my child to diet at such a young age, other than eating ONLY healthy foods.

How is your childs proportion of her height to her weight? is she active? getting the recommended # of calories and types of food per day?
post #14 of 40
9/18/06 at 9:08pm
Chiming win with another vote to shifting her focus away from weight and more towards overall healthy living. And believe it or not, my string bean dd gets made fun of for being too thin and well... no curves. She is strong enough to take it because she knows she eats enough to alot and works out a few times a week in karate. Help your dd set other goals for her to focus on
post #15 of 40
9/18/06 at 11:26pm
Can't let my DD see this, she's 11, 5'4" and 120lbs. She's plenty thin and my dad keeps making little snide comments that she needs to lose weight. I'm about ready to throttle him. You DD is FINE in the weight department.
post #16 of 40
9/18/06 at 11:36pm
I find it so sad that in our society people tend to be so wt focused that at 13 we let out daughters diet. I am 5'4" and was 108 before I got pregnant 4 months ago and I was, and still am very tiny. A question I have for you is do you diet or restrict your intake, as that my be where she got the idea from. Remind her that she is young and athletic and should eat healthy and there should be no "forbidden foods", but everything in moderation. Also try to talk to her about what she feels that she is lacking control in, are you making her do the sports, are you over bearing, a perfectionist. Is sounds like a control issue to me the way you worded it previously. Which is not only a concern, but a red flag that this may develop into an eating disorder. If everything is fine on the home front (per her, not you) maybe ask her about her friends and see if they are dieting. Peer pressure is awful.

good luck
post #17 of 40
9/18/06 at 11:58pm
I was between 92 and 98 lbs at 11-14 yrs old. and even older.
post #18 of 40
9/19/06 at 6:42pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mama View Post
I find it so sad that in our society people tend to be so wt focused that at 13 we let out daughters diet. I am 5'4" and was 108 before I got pregnant 4 months ago and I was, and still am very tiny. A question I have for you is do you diet or restrict your intake, as that my be where she got the idea from. Remind her that she is young and athletic and should eat healthy and there should be no "forbidden foods", but everything in moderation. Also try to talk to her about what she feels that she is lacking control in, are you making her do the sports, are you over bearing, a perfectionist. Is sounds like a control issue to me the way you worded it previously. Which is not only a concern, but a red flag that this may develop into an eating disorder. If everything is fine on the home front (per her, not you) maybe ask her about her friends and see if they are dieting. Peer pressure is awful.

good luck
I don't diet...but I have to admit I may comment here and there about losing a few pounds (me, not her). I asked her about school and she and I both noticed that most of her friends are bigger than her weight wise and height wise, so I don't know what this could be stemming from...well, now that you brought up eating disorders- last year one of her close friends developed anorexia. I'm not sure if this could be related because they are kind of distant now.
post #19 of 40
9/19/06 at 6:42pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bamamom View Post
I was between 92 and 98 lbs at 11-14 yrs old. and even older.
No offense intended, but how is that supposed to help? I'm trying to prevent my daughter from losing weight...
post #20 of 40
9/19/06 at 7:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolmom2 View Post
No offense intended, but how is that supposed to help? I'm trying to prevent my daughter from losing weight...
You asked what appropriate weight was for that age group. She's just telling you what she was. Just like I told you I was about 90 lbs at that age. You shouldnt ask for things if you dont want the answers
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