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Appropriate Weight for a 12-13 Year Old Girl - Page 2  

post #21 of 42
Thread Starter 
No, my point was she didn't mention whether her own weight was appropriate (I mean like approrpriate or average, should I say, in general, not for her own body) or not, sorry I wasn't clear. things over here are just : right now
post #22 of 42
i was totally normal for my age. all my friends looked just like me...

we were all in the mid-ninety pound range in the years between 11-14.

Is that helpful? I was a normal size.
post #23 of 42
105 is perfectly perfect. I think it's sad your dd is trying to lose weight, and if she were my dd I would absolutely discourage a weight obsession. I might even toss the scale. I might also limt her TV viewing (not forbid it, but try to find other things for her to do. Scrabble, board games, family outings etc). Our society is evil towards children.
post #24 of 42
I have a medium - large frame (I've always weighed far more than I "look") and I was 5' 4" and 110 lbs at age 12-14 or so. I was soooooo skinny, and very embarrassed by my hip bones which jutted out through my clothes. My father was so worried, but I was just slightly underweight according to what I "should be." I think your daughter is fine at the weight she is!
post #25 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolmom2 View Post
My daughter will be thirteen this fall, and she is around 5'3''-5'4'' tall. She is 105 pounds, which I think is perfectly normal. She wants to slim down to 95 or so. I'm making sure that she is doing this healthily, but is 95 too small? I don't think she needs to lose weight but I'm not going to stop her unless it gets unhealthy. She is only eliminating lots of junk foods (not carbs altogether, I made sure of that) from her diet.
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefu...l_bmi_calc.htm
A 12 year and 10 months old (female) child
who is 105 pounds
and is 5 feet and 3 inches tall has
a body mass index of 18.6,
which is at the 50th percentile,

and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight. Keep in mind that it is still possible for a child to have an eating disorder even if they are at a healthy weight though.



A 12 year and 10 months old (female) child
who is 95 pounds
and is 5 feet and 4 inches tall has
a body mass index of 16.3,
which is at the 16th percentile,

and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight. Keep in mind that it is still possible for a child to have an eating disorder even if they are at a healthy weight though.
post #26 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by talk de jour View Post
IMO, you should never lose weight unless you are developing diabetes, clogged arteries, etc. -- a health problem -- because of your weight.
Huh? Am I reading this wrong? Not trying to be snarky, but this just doesn't make sense to me.

To the op - you should absolutely not allow your dd to think it is okay for her to lose weight. She could very well be getting vibes from you that you think it is okay. It is not okay for her to lose weight. At. All.

I'm 5'3" and 113 lbs and I could stand to gain weight...... She's perfect at 105 and dangerous at any less.....
post #27 of 42
There are three immediate reasons your daughter's desire to lose weight raises red flags for me.

1) She is already at a low weight. So she has no medical reason to lose weight and it sounds like she leads a healthy lifestyle. If she is responding to peer pressure or societal pressure that she weighs too much that seems like a big problem.

2) She is involved in dance. Some dance teachers are good about addressing body image in a realistic and accepting way, some are not. Do you know what her dance teacher and fellow students are telling her about her body? IMO all dance teachers should be very upfront with their students about the dangers of eating disorders and should be on the lookout for problems. Both her dance teachers and coachs should be talking to her about eating for strength and endurance.

3) Her friend (or former friend) has an eating disorder. I would not underestimate the effect this can have on a young woman. Your daughter may know intellectually that eating disorders are dangerous, but she may still be attracted to the attention her friend got, or the power she seemed to derive from her eating disorder.

If this was my daughter I would strongly discourage any weight loss, quietly keep an eye on her weight, and also raise the issues of eating disorders/body image/health with her doctor, school nurse, coaches, and dance teachers.
post #28 of 42
My daughter will be thirteen next month. She is just shy of 5'2" and weighs between 100 and 110 pounds, depending on if it is volleyball season.

Your daughter sounds perfect to me!
post #29 of 42
I would be concerned because goal-oriented girls and women seem a lot more prone to eating disorders than more laidback folks. Her weight seems perfectly healthy. It's good if she doesn't want a lot of junk but a little diet can turn into a big problem sometimes. Just keep an eye on her, Mama. ((HUGS))
post #30 of 42
Yes, coolmom2, I think it would be unhealthy for your child to actively attempt to lose weight, for all the reasons being stated here. She's not too heavy, I was 115 lbs. at age 13, 5'4", too. I was not fat. In fact, when I was 14 I became depressed (for non-weight related issues) and stopped eating, I went down to 94 lbs. and it was too skinny! The fact that we are constantly being bomdarded by media featuring skin-and-bones models is sad because it does give people a reason to be unsatisfied with their own images even when there is nothing to be unsatisfied with. I'm 30 and it's taken me a long time to accept myself with all my flaws, weight being the least of them. I think the best thing you can do is to try to impress upon your daughter that she's perfect the way she is and reinforce a positive self-image. I wish I had someone to do that for me when I was that age! Can you tell I wasn't one of the popular ones? And I totally agree with maryeliz's comments about her peers and dance instructors.

Andi
post #31 of 42
I was around the same height when I was about 11 and I weight 85 pounds. I wasn't developed at ALL though.

But yeah, I agree with the PP.... she's too young to diet, but of course theirs nothing wrong with eating healthy!
post #32 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammaarah View Post
I would be concerned because goal-oriented girls and women seem a lot more prone to eating disorders than more laidback folks. Her weight seems perfectly healthy. It's good if she doesn't want a lot of junk but a little diet can turn into a big problem sometimes. Just keep an eye on her, Mama. ((HUGS))

I have to agree. Your lovely DD sounds like a good candidate for an eating disorder, so I would keep a real eye on it and educate yourself on the topic. Also let her know that her weight is perfect the way it is. Find out more about her motovation if you can. The more you can get her to talk about it with you the better. There might be other reasons behind this.

Eating healthy is fine, but be careful what her idea of healthy is. Carrots, celery and water only is not a healthy diet for a growing girl. If she wants to pass on junk food, fried foods and desserts that is fine. However a growing and active girl like her can eat the occasional fun food (Ice cream, candy, snacks) with no problem so she doesn't need to limit herself. Reducing her calories can result in her energy level going down too.

I was always small as a child and young adult. I remember I was 49 pounds in 5th grade and people were amazed by that. I don't remember how much I weighed in school, but I was 93 pounds at age 22 when I got married (in 1993, easy to remember that.)

Now as an adult (and 2 children later) I am 120 and was happy to see that still is ok BMI for my 5 foot frame. I had to work to get down to that though.
post #33 of 42
Dy dd is 12 1/2 and 5 ' 1" and weighs maybe 115.
post #34 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandib50 View Post
i think she is just fine and would be worried that she wants to lose weight

why is she wanting to lose weight?
^--- bingo.

Smells like the beginning of an eating disorder.

Also, Synthea - throttle away - snide comments are the worst. I would call him out on it and insist he cease and desist immediately, unless he can show that your daughter is at a weight that is risky to her health anf future development. (which she isn't.)
post #35 of 42
my DD is 5'0" and 110 at 12 1/2 years old
She is getting that curvy women figure and I think she is perfect size.
She is very athletic and not fat at all. She is not skinny and I would never encourage her to be.
She wears a 14 girls jeans or 5 womens, and a 12-14 top.

I think your DD sounds like she is the perfect size. I would NOT encourage any dieting at this age. Fit and healty is different then dieting
post #36 of 42
I will not allow her to loose any weight, simply becuase she's to young for dieting, I honestly wouldn't let her even though she wants to accomplish that goal, don't want to be rude, but lossing weight at 13 is absurd She's way to young to start thinking of that
post #37 of 42
I'm 5'4" now. When I was 14, I had reached my full height and weighed 99 pounds. Not unhealthy, just slender. I've now made my way up to 130 and still don't consider myself in need of a diet.

Let DD know that eating healthy is great, but that she shouldn't try to lose weight. Diets are popular at that age. Many young girls say they're dieting, whether or not they're actually concentrating on weight loss. She might must be trying to fit in with her peers.
post #38 of 42
DD is 13, 5'1" and weighed about 96 pounds before cross country season started up. She's easily lost 5 pounds since then (with running, naturally), so I'd put her around 90 pounds. She's thin, but not overly so. She's a couple of inches shorter though too, so 105 sounds about right for that.
post #39 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by lab View Post
Huh? Am I reading this wrong? Not trying to be snarky, but this just doesn't make sense to me.
What, exactly, don't you understand?

I don't believe that there are "magic numbers," and I don't believe that a weight of 110 is necessarily "more healthy" than a weight of 200. Some people are made to weigh 200, some would be terribly unhealthy at 200 -- and I think that only people who are unhealthy because of their weight "need" to lose weight. If your BMI is 30, but you have absolutely nothing wrong with you and are in amazing shape, why lose weight just to hit the "magic number" of 24.9? It doesn't make sense.
post #40 of 42
My 12yo daughter is very small. She is 68 pounds. x is always complaining that she needs to eat more, that she is undersized. This too began to really weigh on her. You can effect a child in either direction, too small or too big. Just to stop him we went to the doctor. The scales for what a 12yo should weigh are not fair. We are all individuals and carry different weights and sizes. The most important thing for her is her BMI. Take her to the doctor. It is important for a young girl to hear this from her doctor. Find out what the BMI is. My daughter has a BMI of 16%, so she is small but ok.

Anyways, if a child wants to diet, it needs to be addressed through the family doctor. He/she needs to be a part of this decision, and needs to speak directly to your daughter about how to go about this. I would make an appointment immeadiately.
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