By nature, I am a competitive person whether running, cycling, skiing or child rearing. I’m sure as my children get older, I will feel a strong need to keep the playing field level when other adults (read: coaches, instructors, teachers, etc.) do things that unfairly affect my child’s performance.
Now I am not justifying in any way what the Texas hockey dad did when he killed the father/coach of his son’s hockey team, but I am not surprised. I used to coach a children’s ski racing program and while the parents were wonderful to me, many of them were downright barbaric with their own children. I often found myself, as a coach, in the situation where I had to literally confront the parents in order to protect their child’s well-being and thus hopefully keeping the child in the program. Many of the parents thought their child had better be a budding Olympic champion, or it was time to change sports.
Years ago, I would have thought this behavior by the parents was some buried genetic link of wanting the best for their kids, but now I doubt that it has much to do with the kids except the kids might be interpreted as a reflection of the parent’s worth. Therefore, if the child is not the best, it is the parent’s fault. But if the parent can alter the environment to give their child an advantage (or even the same opportunities), then the genetics kick in and make parents do and say dumb things in hopes of improving their child and thus themselves (or at least their appearance).
So what gives? Why do parents act like they are so concerned about they children, but get violently angry when even the slightest transgression appears to create an obstacle to their child’s performance whether on the field, in the arena, or in the classroom?
Now I am not justifying in any way what the Texas hockey dad did when he killed the father/coach of his son’s hockey team, but I am not surprised. I used to coach a children’s ski racing program and while the parents were wonderful to me, many of them were downright barbaric with their own children. I often found myself, as a coach, in the situation where I had to literally confront the parents in order to protect their child’s well-being and thus hopefully keeping the child in the program. Many of the parents thought their child had better be a budding Olympic champion, or it was time to change sports.
Years ago, I would have thought this behavior by the parents was some buried genetic link of wanting the best for their kids, but now I doubt that it has much to do with the kids except the kids might be interpreted as a reflection of the parent’s worth. Therefore, if the child is not the best, it is the parent’s fault. But if the parent can alter the environment to give their child an advantage (or even the same opportunities), then the genetics kick in and make parents do and say dumb things in hopes of improving their child and thus themselves (or at least their appearance).
So what gives? Why do parents act like they are so concerned about they children, but get violently angry when even the slightest transgression appears to create an obstacle to their child’s performance whether on the field, in the arena, or in the classroom?
