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first moon party

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 
My only daughter just turned 13, so the first menstruation should be close. I have talked about the female cycle with her and she got some information at school (part of the curriculum in Germany). Also, she was a breastfeeding toddler and has witnessed / is still witnessing her 3 younger brothers breastfeeding. All children were born at home, so she got her share of "how babies are born", even though she was never present during the actual birth. However, I would like to honor the occasion with a "rite of passage". Anyone out there who celebrated her daughter's menarche somehow?
post #2 of 61
I have been curious about this myself. I feel that when my daughter starts there should be something done to honor her and her change. She still is young (9) but I would like to do something special for her.
post #3 of 61
I'm going to look for some links for you, but you should post the question in the Pagan group in Spirituality. Its a big deal in that religion to honor the passing from Maiden (child age) to Mother (menstrual age) to Crone (menopause age.) There are beautiful rituals, poems, blessings, etc to help welcome your daughter into the land of mother.

Oh, and please don't feel you must be pagan or agree with the religion to ask the question. Everyone there is very accepting and NOBODY would try to convert you!

BTW, I think its beautiful to honor your daughter in that way.
post #4 of 61
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your comments so far. Maybe it would be a good idea to put this thread in a different forum - but how? I tried to look it up but I couldn't find it. Do I have to contact the moderator?
post #5 of 61
Originally Posted by proudmomof4 View Post
Thank you for your comments so far. Maybe it would be a good idea to put this thread in a different forum - but how? I tried to look it up but I couldn't find it. Do I have to contact the moderator?
Unfortunately, you need to have 50 posts and 60 days on the board before you can post or read in the Spirituality forum.

There have been quite a few threads about how to celebrate a girl's menarche. This thread has a link to a bunch of other threads as well as a few ideas: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...t+menstruation
post #6 of 61

Great Book

There's a great book out there that addresses some of these questions. Moon Mother, Moon Daughter; Myths & Rituals that Celebrate a Girl's Coming-of-Age by: Janet Lucy and Terri Allison. I bought it a year ago and have just started browsing it. My daughter is only 10 (almost 11) and just getting started in that department. But I'm planning. Good luck! I'm sure that anything that you do with be wonderful...such a thing is a demonstration of love and respect and your daughter will feel that no matter what you come up with! Aloha,
post #7 of 61
When started menstruating my mom and both grandmother made it a big deal...we had a super special woman only dinner and they each shared their feelings about me becoming a woman...it was a great lesson learned about celebrating womanhood...I so look forward to having my little girl so I can keep this tradition alive
post #8 of 61
Not to throw a wrench in your plans, but I would have been mortified if my mother would have done anything like that! I know my daughter would have been as well.

I am sure different cultures see things differently, but I just wanted to share my feelings on the subject.
post #9 of 61
Ever time I've seen a thread like this come up there are always those that say they would *die* if their mom had made it a big deal... Guess I'm in that bunch! OTOH, I don't want my daughter to feel that way.

I posted to the Pagen thread to see if maybe anyone from there would come over here to give any suggestions. I myself don't really have any based on a terrible lack of creativity at the moment.
post #10 of 61
Originally Posted by proudmomof4 View Post
I would like to honor the occasion with a "rite of passage".
Good for you! Yes, honor this occasion! I think it can be done without embarrassing the heck out her too.

My daughters are 2 and 6, but I have imagined taking them out to eat at a nice restaurant and giving them a special piece of jewelery (something like Greenlee's wonderful pendant .

It really all depends on the girl. What does she like? A day at a spa? Getting some beautiful henna/ menhandi? What ever will make her feel special and show that it is a beautiful exciting day.

Here is an article that you might like to read.
post #11 of 61
My dd started this last spring & I so wanted to do something for her. She forbid it...thought I was nuts!!! She did not want her dad to know. Not sure why as we had talked about this for a while, but when it came down to it...she wanted nothing of it. So....I took her to Barnes & Noble for a new book & a iced mocha & chocolate cheesecake. (I think, no I know...she liked the drink & cake best!!!!) I felt good "doing something" & she got something low key.
post #12 of 61
I would have been MORTIFIED if my Mom did something like this, but then again, my Mom was never really open about stuff like this when I was growing up......she always "hid" when she was on her period and was weirded out about me seeing her naked......so I was brought up in a somewhat "closed-minded" household. I would hope that I could do *something* special for my DD when the time comes being that I plan on raising her differently than I was raised, But MY MOM wanted to make a TAMPON CAKE. You get the picture.
post #13 of 61
My parents had a huge feast and celebration. I was embarassed, but grateful. It was a very important part of my life that I will pass onto my own daughters.
post #14 of 61

I'd have been mortified had my mom even attempted anything to "celebrate" my menses. Heck - I'd had it for 2 years before she found out about it at all, because I didn't feel it was something I could share with her.

I think (in hindsight) that if she'd done something small and low-key - a special dinner out at a "grown-up" restaurant or the like - it might have gone okay. But a fancy thing, or involving my step-dad - BAD.
post #15 of 61
Originally Posted by LizaBear View Post
I think (in hindsight) that if she'd done something small and low-key - a special dinner out at a "grown-up" restaurant or the like - it might have gone okay. But a fancy thing, or involving my step-dad - BAD.
How about sending your stepdad to buy you pads and not even having the forthought to GET THEM FROM HIM and give them to you herself? Or, telling your ex-stepdad becuase you were going there for a visit who then tells his girl friend so you get "the talk" from her. WTF?

I really think that was the last time I told my mom ANYTHING.
post #16 of 61
My dd is only 7, but I started my cycles when I was 9 so its not too far off. I plan on pulling together a basket, with books about whats going on with her body, fertility, health, ect, Some nice bath products, Several different options of protection (cloth pads, disposible pads, junior tampons, ect), and a calender or set of cyclebeads. She is already so excited that one day she will grow breasts
(for nursing babies as well as looks), and that her body will develop so that she can have babies some day. I am hoping to keep this excitement about becoming a woman alive. Besides that we will probally do a simple ritual involving the moon, bake a cake, and talk a lot. Totally diffrent from what my mother did, and something that my daughter will really enjoy.
post #17 of 61
My daughter would have been embarrassed too. And I have to tell you, after more than 30 years of the wretched "curse", I will celebrate when it stops!! lol
post #18 of 61
Here getting your first period is a HUGE deal. If it happens in school the girl get's ushered home by the school nurse. She stays with her while Amma consults an astrologer to see when the auspicious time to begin celebrating will be (which is flexible if she has upcoming exams). The girl remains in the house until that day and doesn't have to do any of her usual chores. The clothes she was wearing when she menstruated are given away (inclusing jewelry) and she wears a new white outfit everyday until the special day arrives. They she is given a ritual bath, a new outfit (usually her first sari) and a new gold chain and pendant. After this she is allowed to look in the mirror for the first time since her period began (I'm not sure why on this one). Then there is a HUGE party that the whole neighboorhood comes to that goes on sometimes for days (the one across the street from us started with fireworks at 4:30 in the morning [scaring the crap out of us] and went for three days). Now inviting the neighbors will probably not work in most Western countries (here it is a public matter as menstruating girls aren't allowed to play with boys) but a new grown up looking dress and jewelry plus a day off school/chores might do nicely!

DH tells me that his mom took them out for a special meal for their first period/nocturnal ejaculation. Only the child and mom knew what the occassion was (though he was informed of his younger siblings and told not to tell them he knew) so not to be embarrassing.
post #19 of 61
I feel really bad because my oldest DD started almost a year ago and I never even thought to do anything to celebrate that time. We had talked about it for a long time, so she knew what to expect and all, but when the time came, I had never heard of doing anything special. Not until the past couple of months did I read some mention of this and start to do some reading. I'd love to do something now, but I'm thinking that it wouldn't really have any meaning since its a year after she first started.

Man, I really wish I'd learned so much before I ever had kids (or at least while they were still little )
post #20 of 61
My dd isn't there yet, but I've thought that I'd take her to get her ears pierced and I'd get mine done a second time. But she's really, really not wanting to get her ears pierced because it will hurt and that child would encase herself in bubble wrap if I let her. She will *almost* run into something and say, "Ow!"

So I'm thinking an economy size bottle of Motrin, maybe?
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