why oh why does everyone keep saying the w-word?!

[Ione]

Hi all,

I'll be joining you here soon (I go back to work 4days/week on 14 April, DD was 3mo. old on April 1, BTW)...

We've got things pretty much ironed out (daycare, ugh!, and 4 weeks transition (half days week 1, 6hr days wks 2-4, then "full time" which = 32hrs/week), etc.).

We're trying to teach DD to drink from a bottle or cup but so far she still isn't having it but I'm not too worried (yet)...

But what's really getting my dander up is why, oh why, does everyone keep talking about my weaning her now? I have no plans to wean her... not for at least a year (or more?), none at all. I'm planning on BFing exclusively whenever she's with me nights, mornings, and 24/24 Weds and weekends....

But everyone keeps going on about *weaning* as if, "of course" that's what I'm doing. And when I say, no, we're *not* weaning and I'll keep BFing her, they *all* go on about how I'm going to, "of course" loose *all* my milk... and that I just can't "not wean" if I work "full" time...

What the F*%& ? Ok, I know it'll probably be a challenge... and I'll probably have a much more intimate relationship with my Avent Isis than I would like in an ideal world... but still...

It just sticks in my craw that everyone around me seems to expect me to "fail" and "have to wean"....

Grrrr!!!

Did any of you get this kind of treatment? How did you deal with it? (And just how big of a challenge am I facing, since I'm determined to keep BFing no matter what?)

Thanks for listening... I just had to vent a bit. And sorry for my first thread in here to be a bit of a vent.

Ione

[Marlena]

Tell them (however politely or impolitely, according to your taste) to go screw themselves. You CAN work and maintain your milk supply. Most of us here have worked and pumped and continued nursing, I believe.

You might, however, need a better pump than the Avent Isis, particularly given that you're not just trying to maintain your milk output, but actually will need to increase it in the coming months as your child grows. Other folks here have had good success with the Isis, but I sure as heck did not, and ultimately had to rent a pump. I had much better luck just milking myself by hand than I did with the Isis. So you might want to make sure that the Isis is really and truly all you need before you go back to work (and then run into problems, and then become disspirited...and the next thing you know, you may in fact be weaning, and we all don't want that to happen).

Stick to your guns, and good luck!

[mamacate]

It can be done! I just ignored anyone who said I couldn't do it. I know that there's a certain amount of luck involved, since some women are just low-volume pumpers, but I BFed TWINS and pumped for them while working 20 hours per week, and never had to supplement with formula. I even had a problem with active lipase and had to throw my whole freezer stash out, but I still managed to avoid formula. It's not terrible to supplement or anything, but I really wanted to do this. I pumped 3 times a day plus nursing at lunch on some days, and there were definitely weeks when I worried that I'd have to run to the supermarket halfway through the day to get them some formula.

Forget weaning! I am still pumping and nursing them at daycare when I pick them up, at 1 year, and have no plans to stop! I *did* go to visit them at lunchtime and nursed then for the first year, and that helped a lot, I think, with my supply.

I TTTTTT A with the person who said you should get a different pump than the Isis. The Isis is a great pump for moms who will be separated occasionally from their kids, but if you're going to be pumping for 32 hours a week, you really need a good quality, self-cycling, double electric pump like the Pump In Style or the Purely Yours. I use a PIS and it's great. You get good at it and you can work (or surf) while using it once you get the hang of it. It's a bit expensive, but a lot cheaper than formula feeding (not to mention the health benefits!).

Hugs and good luck with the return to work. It always seems a lot worse than it really turns out to be.

Cate

[lilyka]

I have never know anyone wyho has been forced to wean because they were going back to work. Some people have had supply issues but they certainly didn't have to wean completely.

I agree tell those people to go screw themselves.

[delighted.mama]

It can DEFINITELY be done!! don't let the "nay-sayers" get you down!! With a little bit of organization, persistence and patience, it can totally be done. I had to go back to work when dd was 12 weeks old. I pumped 2x a day and nursed during lunch. If I couldn't make it home to nurse, I would pump. I did this until she was 12 months old. At that time, I quit pumping and nursed only when at home (mornings, evenings, weekends, etc.) I am proud that dd never had an ounce formula. Even when I stopped pumping, she would wait to nurse from me (we also co-sleep and she nurses at night). SOOOOO many people thought I was crazy for trying to pump and work and that I would quit. That is nothing but crap. I found that the people who said that to me (1) either never did it themselves OR (2) did it and quit/failed at it. The ONLY people I actually listened to and took advice from were mothers who had done it SUCCESSFULLY and who motivated me to keep going. Otherwise, whatever the naysayers had to say was totally irrelevant.

Have no doubt that you CAN and WILL be able to continue to nurse and pump and not wean your baby until you and he feel it is the right time!! HTHT!!

Best of Luck to You!!!!


Libby

Mama to a little bobka (15 months old almost )

[delighted.mama]

p.s. about the pump, definitely invest in a hospital grade pump. I don't think it is as do-able otherwise. You need a strong pump that will stimulate both breasts (simultaneously preferrably) The Isis is great to just keep at home or in the car or for short distances. I had the Medela PIS and it was terrific. Definitely go with a better, albeit more expensive, pump. It is completely worth it!!

[carmen veranda]

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

I totally agree about the pump. I still grieve about my nursing relationship with my now 8 yr old. Not having a Super Pumper was one of the main reasons!!! With dd #3 almost 3 yrs old, I got Pump in Style and I worked overtime, nights, mostly single moming it, (he came and went for awhile) in a very stressful job, and she never had formula. It is work, but so if formula. I am very proud of still nursing my babe. I can tell you that the pump made a great deal of difference. If someone would say, "How is she doing with weaning?" or something, I would just say, "Oh she probably will wean herself in three of four years, I'm not worried about. Thanks for your concern, though."
PS. The 8 yr old had manymore colds and green snot days then dd#3 did, and they attend the same day care. The health bendfits alone are so worth it. Good luck and way to go Mom!!!!

[squeakermansmom]

i agree with everyone else here - tell them to go screw themselves! i went back to work part time (two 10 hour days) when ds was 3 months old. he wouldn't take the bottle - at all. luckily dh brought him up at lunch to nurse. but honestly he was so preoccupied with the different surroundings at my work that he barely nursed at lunch. so dh kept offering breastmilk in the bottle and later in the sippy cup. and ds just nursed more at night - alot more, which worked out good. also, i agree you definitely need a good pump - i used the medela pump in style.

[LiamnEmma]

I always look(ed) at those people as if they've totally lost their minds. Really. I kind of cock my head, squinch up my eyes and stare at them for about 30 seconds and then change the look to one suggesting pity for their ignorance and shake my head no while saying, "It's basic supply and demand. You don't lose your milk." The first couple of times I was irritated, then it just became a routine. I loved my Medela Lactina that I rented from the LC at the local hospital!

[tessamami]

I did it, too!

I went back to FT WOH when DD was 3.5 mos old. I rented a hospital grade pump and DH brought her to work and I nursed her on my lunch hour and pumped 2X day then down to 1X a day by the time I stopped pumping when she was 13 mos. old.

Baby is the best pump and she more than made up for it at night and on the weekend. It WILL work out!

[hulamama]

It is like those comments you get about weaning once they get teeth.....WTF? Where is the correlation? People are so strange. You can definitley do it!

[somemama]

My SIL told me her success story of pumping/working, so that really encouraged me.

I went back to work when ds was 10 weeks old; he's almost 9 months now and I'm still bf'ing him.

I have the Medela Mini-Electric (single); I love it! It was $80 at Target.

Make sure you drink PLENTY of water!!

[Betsy]

ap mothers need thick skin

weaning, co-sleeping, organic food, no TV, etc.etc. I learned early on that it was going to take some thick skin to ward off the stupid comments I get about being an ap mom.

I worked full time after my ds was born and bf her till she was 3. I've worked 4 days per week after ds was born and just weaned him at 4yo! I used a Pump in Style and got so much extra milk I ended up donating it to the milk bank at the hospital.

You can do it! Just bf as often as possible and pump often too.

[Yama]

Everyone's comments are great! I went back to work as a pre-school teacher when my daughter was 5 months. Her babysitter was around the corner, on lunch breaks I went to her house to nurse/be around her. I had an manual avent pump at work, whenever I felt a "let down" I excused myself and pumped my milk out. My milk supply started to run down, so I dranked even more water than usual, used fenugreek capsules, and drank Traditional Medicine's "Mother's Milk" at home. She also did not receive any bottles during the weekend or at night. I also rented the Electric Medela Pump (l loved it) right before I went back to work to help increase my milk supply (I pumped while she slept) She is now 16months and comes to me to nurse when she is tired, hurt, angry, etc, she primarily nurses at night, I feel only a little "let down" (so I am convinced I am her beautiful warm pacifer) but I am so happy that I did what I said I was going to do, breastfeed for as long as we want to (I stopped breastfeeding my son at 3 weeks because my nipples were cracking and bleeding and not being able to breastfeed really hurt my psyche as a mommy), and right now we don't have plans to stop! thq So Good Luck To You, You Can Do It!

[Ione]

Thanks a million for all the "I did it" tales... I only know one person who didn't wean at 3mo (or earlier) (except for my mom who was a SAHM at the time).

Thanks for the pump advice -- I wish things were different but...
* we do not have a freezer at home (so no long term storage of a "stash")
* no fridge at work
* no hot water at work (cold water taps only, although I could boil water in an electric kettle but...)

anyway...
I'll pump in the mornings and evenings for her (and if it's not enough, as long as my supply stays OK for when we are together, I'm not going to worry).

In short, I guess my goal is for me to keep nursing her when we are together and to have enough milk for that. (Even if she has formula when I'm at work--as long as she only has BM when we're together).

Unfortunately, I won't be able to get to see her at lunch although I really wish work was closer to her so I could.

I'm blathering and it's almost time for her morning feed so I'll cut this short.

THANK YOU for the encouragement!!

[hulamama]

Ione--I bought one of those igloo cooler packs and blue ice packs. I never cleaned my pump at school. I just stowed everything away and put the milk on ice and cleaned it all when I got home. I pumped in my classroom and didn't have the time to clean it since I only had 40 minutes in all to set up and do it and clean up. HTH.

[carmen veranda]

That's what I did too. I had thiry minutes and had to eat too. I did have a small above the fridge freezer, and home, but rarely had any to spare, just kept up.

[tracymom]

Ignorance, ignorance

It's so rampant about BF, as you are finding!!!

I went back to WOHM when DS #2 was 18 months old. One of the reasons I chose to WAHM until that time was that I had such supply issues with DS #1 and knew that I am a lousy pumper; I can't let down for one, no matter what I do. That's a long story and one I won't go into. However, since he was that old and already on lots of food, I had been able to stop supplements months before and I still continued to nurse on demand when I was home. He's now 3 1/2 and still asks to nurse occasionally; I think it's been about a week since the last time, so he's pretty weaned, but it's been a very satisfying relationship for both of us. Even my doctor couldn't seem to understand what I was doing, seeming to think that if I didn't nurse "regularly" I'd "lose all my milk." Silly. Sad.

I was pleased that one of the first things I was able to do in my new "executive" position was arrange for one of my employees to use a seldom-used office as her pumping room when I noticed she was using the bathroom! She successfully used the PIS for over 7 months until she chose to wean her baby (wish she hadn't, but she didn't ask me my opinion on it! ) I don't know if she had asked our previous boss for anything more than the bathroom or not, but I hope I contributed in some small way to her being able to pump longer. There is absolutely no excuse for companies not being more family friendly other than "they've always done it that way." IMHO.

[Marlena]

but you _are_ going to pump at work, right? If you don't, you may very well lose your supply. Your baby will be growing, and thus demanding more and more milk, and if you're not keeping up, you'll be in trouble in short order. It's one thing for moms whose children are 1 or so to stop pumping while at work, but quite another for moms with newborns to do so and expect to be able to continue nursing.

I second the icepack idea. That's what I did, too, and it worked very well. But even if you end up not putting your milk on ice during the day saving it to take home (it'll last several days in the fridge; you don't have to accumulate a huge frozen stash or something), it will be worth it to pump even if only to make sure that your supply not merely remains but, ideally, increases. Note that, if your child were solely breastfed, she'd probably consume about 30 - 40 oz of breastmilk every 24 hours. Break that down by the number of feedings she has per day, and you'll get the idea.

[somemama]

I use an icepack that was made to go around pop cans--so it has indentations that fit the bottles perfectly!