|ECers come onto the thread and talk about how "weird" that is and "uncomfortable" that 'makes' them and spout off all the benefits of ECing. Well that's really great and all, but how does that help these mothers?...
but the point is that THIS thread was not about the mother of an older PLer asking for help, it was a thread by an ECer asking for help to understand an older PLing child. This thread was NOT to help mothers of older PLers, it was to help an ECer. And I don't believe anyone spouted a single benefit of ECing, they just said what ECing is and that those who practice it generally do not "get" older children still being in diapers.
And Newmommy, you said
|Well as the Mother of 3 year old who shows ZERO intereset in PL, those responses shamed and embarrassed me. I never thought I would see those flaming responses on a Natural Parenting website. In the instance of PL, you would think the AP philosphy would be child-led...why is PL an exception???
What flaming responses are you talking about?? Because I saw no flaming of child-led PLing in this thread. I saw mothers explaining what EC was and the mommas who did PLing getting upset and flaming the ECers for posting their beliefs.
I am NOT being snarky, I really did not see a single pro-ec post that was judgmental or flaming of non ECers and I saw a ton of posts by mommas being defensive of their choices and calling the ECers judgemental. I don't get it.
I stay far away from PLing threads because I have nothing to offer. Yes, if you do EC, you don't need to PL, and I think that information is pointless to say to a mom who's doing PLing with an older child. Perhaps there have been a lot of ECers posting that sort of thing on those threads and all of you are just reacting to those posts and taking out your feelings about it in this thread, but that is not what this thread is.
Yes, I think EC is the best way, and I think it's easier than child-led potty learning. Late PLing looks a lot harder and seems very backwards to me but I don't judge those doing it. I do all I can in my life to educate people about EC so that they can have some options to avoid having to ever potty train their kids, becuase I think it's a more effective way to deal with these bodily functions. But just because you didn't learn of it or thought it was a load of crap (no pun intended
) or just didn't think it was right for you, that makes no difference to me and I'm not going to change your mind or TRY to make you feel bad about it. If you do feel bad about it when you hear that there might have been another way, that is NOT my fault.
I thing this bears repeating (all over these forums, actually) Nobody can make us feel guilt or shame for those things that we are not already feeling guilty or shameful about. If you made the right choice for you, then you will be proud of that and you will not feel ashamed when someone mentions an alternative. The person making the other choice and talking about how great that choice is for them is NOT making you feel guilt over not making the same choice, that is YOUR guilt and shame.
I can tell you wholeheartedly that I have not met a single ECer who would purposefully try to shame someone for not choosing to EC (and I have been in the ECing community for over 6 years and know THOUSANDS of ECers). We might be perplexed or not understand why you would not choose something that we think is simply amazing, but we would never try to make you feel bad about a choice you made. I can assure you that the ECing community is one of the most inclusive you will find. We try very hard to help ALL parents with Potty Learning, even those who did not EC, even though it is usually completely outside of our range of experience.
To be told constantly that we are judgemental and attacking when we are only trying to educate and defend ourselves from the constant attacks of those who think we are trying to push our children to grow up too early, rob our children of their babyhoods, force our children to use muscles that do not exist, etc, is insulting and hurtful especially on a board that is about supporting fellow mothers.