Has anyone changed their mind?

[~PurityLake~]

About how many children they want to have? I wanted 4. After the second cesarean, and difficulty bonding with number 2, I've decided I'm done. I have two beautiful girls and never wanted a son. I am happy with 2 and currently have no desire for more children. I was pregnant with Sophia when Abigail was only 5 months old, so couldn't nurse past 7 months with Abigail. I had been pregnant for nearly two solid years. I enjoyed being pregnant the first time, but by the second, I didn't like it at all. Too much, too soon, too close together. Maybe I'll change my mind later on. Maybe not. Our house is too small for what we have (two daughters and a 9 yr old stepson part-time), in only a two bedroom house. We have too much debt and see no end in sight, and I just don't think it would be wise to add more kids to a small house and tight budget. Like I said, maybe I'll change my mind, if we move to a bigger house, pay off the car and house loan... and I have a good long break from pregnancy. I am already 32, though. So who knows.

[mamamilkers]

I thought I wanted three until I got pg with #2. I'm done, as well. I just a general feeling of being perfectly settled with the amount of children I have now and very, very much don't want to be pg or give birth ever again.

[roadfamily6now]

we originally thought 2,,,,,,,,,well 4 kids later we are done.

However,I will never be done being pregnant! I love it! I have had 1 surrogate baby and am now pregnant with surro babe number 2~!

[boobyfeeder]

Way back when, we had decided on two. I've since changed my mind, and have been working on DH. I want four, he's ok with three. Hey, I got him this far, so we'll probably end up with four.

[mrs rockstar]

My husband and I have always said we wanted 3 or 4. I have to admit to you guys (not to him yet...don't want to start a fight until I know for sure) that there have been moments here and there where I think that this is it for biological children for me. I think it's probably because I'm so sleep deprived so ask me again in a year or so, I imagine my tune will have changed back to "ohtinybabiesIwantMORE".

[SummerTwilight]

I thought I wanted 3 or 4 but after how DIFFICULT this is I don't know if I could SURVIVE more than 2. I loved pregnancy but I don't know how I could handle the newborn stage with other children. But I definately don't want an only child so I am thinking one more and hoping for a boy.

[mamamilkers]

Originally Posted by SummerTwilight

I thought I wanted 3 or 4 but after how DIFFICULT this is I don't know if I could SURVIVE more than 2. I loved pregnancy but I don't know how I could handle the newborn stage with other children. But I definately don't want an only child so I am thinking one more and hoping for a boy.

SummerTwilight, I felt the same way with DD#1. From my admittedly flawed research, I think most people have easier second babies. Even if they aren't easier, you will be an experienced mama and will handle it better because you have BTDT.

[Sailmom]

I originally thought 3, but after this time, I think I am done. So many things were wrong with me on a mental level, though, so maybe I will change my tune in a year or 2. I don't think having 2 is necessarily twice the work, just because I am so comfortable with the newborn phases now - breastfeeding going well etc., but having a 2 year old as well... If I could go back I would have waited until she was 3 before even thinking about getting pregnant.

[BirthFree]

Originally Posted by SummerTwilight

I thought I wanted 3 or 4 but after how DIFFICULT this is I don't know if I could SURVIVE more than 2. I loved pregnancy but I don't know how I could handle the newborn stage with other children. But I definately don't want an only child so I am thinking one more and hoping for a boy.

I don't have any easier phases yet and I'm on #3... I just despise (yes, right now I despise it) the newborn phase. I am very, very seriously considering stopping at this point - - we are having a hellish time of it right now and there are some intolerances that I have that make nursing (and following such a diet) extremely difficult. I don't notice it when not nursing - but my nurslings show it (my intolerances). I am praying to continue even 3 months at this point - a year is going to feel like a serious accomplishment should we make it. :sigh:

[AmieV]

BIG ditto to mamamilkers. I'm not even sure this little girl is any easier (in fact she may be tougher) than DD1 but the lowered stress/anxiety level makes this newborn stuff seem like cake. I mean, it's still every bit as difficult, but it's WAY easier to deal with sleep deprivation when you're used to it. and when you're not freaked out when you realize you let your baby sleep on their belly all night (I did that after nursing in bed the other day...I think she was on her side and just rolled to her belly)

now is not the time to make these calls though! I remember in the early days with DD1 I was sure she'd be an only child and sad about it. Then I resolved we could try again when she was 2. Then at 9 months PP we were ttca!

that said I'm fairly certain we're done now. We've always said 2 was it and DH is very unwavering on that. I could probably be talked into a third, but I'm not passionate about it. I'd like to go through pg and birth again, truthfully, not sure that I really want another child!

[mamamilkers]

Originally Posted by AmieV

I'd like to go through pg and birth again, truthfully, not sure that I really want another child!

See, now maybe mama's like you and I need to band together! I want another, just without the pregnancy and birth. Maybe we can help each other out?

[BetsyS]

We originally thought 4, but this baby is really easy.... Last night, we were thinking, well, if the others are half this easy, we could have 6 before we'd have to get a bigger car (yes, we drive a SUV). . So, the deciding factor will probably be I refuse to drive a big church van as an everyday car.

[veganf]

We wanted 3 originally, but then decided on 6 after number 2 (who was VERY difficult BTW : ), and now we might be done after 4. But during this pregnancy I was sure I would never get pregnant again. But Nate is so great, I really want more. I'm only 32, so I've got plenty of time to decide.

[peilover010202]

Well, definitely not ready for another now, but we're still planning #3 at some point. Since I'm going back to school, it will probably be during my 2nd year (which is 2 years from now). That would space all my kids about 3yrs apart and I am happy with that age difference.

[ColoradoMama]

I totally and absolutely want another one. Of course, this thread is about people changing their minds, and I've always wanted a big family! Oh well. Dh is done, so if we have another, it will be an oops baby. I love being pregnant. I love giving birth. I love having a baby in the house. I love having the chaos of multiple children. My dream has always been to be the matriarch of a very large family! Come on God - side with me! Let's have an "oops" baby! LOL!

[Katiemare]

I certainly changed my mind about the spacing after having one-- before beinga mom i thought we'd do a 2yr age diff but once I realized what it was like, I decided we needed more time.
Another experience that will change the way you look at this is if you've had a miscarriage. I did, a year before getting pregnant with Hawk. And lemme tell you I want three, but also feel like I should quit while I'm ahead because I just don't know if I could handle another loss.
Anyway, I think it is important to be "in the moment" with your newborn. You don't have to plan the rest of your life right now. Just focus on how to get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time! And the laundry, Good Grief!