Intro - and need to share!

[jaye]

Hello,

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with twins and even after reading many of the posts in this forum, my overwhelming feeling is one of terror! Some of the reasons:

I will be 41 when these 2 are born,
I am a large mama and I'm so uncomfortable already and I worry that I will hardly be able to move the last few months,
I have an active & adorable 3.5 yr old who is quite a handful,
I live in an apartment with fairly noisy neighbors, without a parking space and no laundry facilities,
My dh is trying to find a house we can afford - which would mean
packing and moving while pregnant, a longer commute, and an even tighter budget.
I worry about how this will affect my marriage
I've been an insomniac most of my life (big surprise since I'm obviously such a worrier!!)

You all sound so happy about your twins. I'm not exactly UNhappy about them - I just sort of want to fast forward over the next 18 months. And that makes me feel guilty - something else to worry about!

did anyone else suffer from anxiety while pregnant with twins? Is is easier or harder than you thought it would be?

thanks for listening/reading. wasn't sure if I should post this here or in the over 40 mamas.

[1Plus2]

Welcome!!

Hello, Jaye and welcome! Being pregnant with my twins was also a bittersweet time. I am younger then you are (28) but I also have some of the same issues that you have. We own our home but it is small and VERY tight on space. We have no where for our stuff not to mention adding two new people. We're also very tight on money.

I have a 2 1/2 year old, very active, clingy, Momma's girl...LOL! She was still nursing when I found out I was pregnant with the babies. I had to struggle with the decision to wean her earlier then I had wanted to...not to mention the emotional battle with ending that special relationship of just being me and my girl.

Despite all of the worrying I did I truly believe that having twins is a lot easier then I ever imagined it would be. As soon as my precious angels entered this world I couldn't imagine life any other way. No....we aren't able to just pick up and go like we did before...my dd and my relationship has changed but we are just as bonded as ever...and my dh and I have our stressful moments but overall it has been relatively easy.

As hard as it is, try to relax and truly enjoy the miracle that you are carrying. I remember seeing a logo for the National Organization of Mothers of Twins club that said "Where God Chooses The Members". That is *so* true!! Think of yourself as one of the chosen lucky ones.

[mommy2three]

definite anxiety

I'm right there with you! I am a worrier by nature and was very nervous when I was pregnant with the twins. Their first year was difficult and I was always stressed and it did show in our marriage. We also lived in a small apartment at the time and far away from family and had NO money!!!

Now it's 3 years later and my marriage is great, we have our house (very tight budget but worth it), and decided when the twins were 2 to have another because we were having so much fun!!! I'm so much more relaxed now and it shows in my parenting and my marriage is happier because of it. What I'm trying to say is that we too had it rough when the twins were born but you'll do great. And having twins is so much different from a singleton because the relationship the two share is such a strong bond! I know it's hard but try to relax and enjoy! Everything will work out I wish I tried to relax more when the twins were young so I could have enjoyed their infancy more. Congrats and if you need any advice or anything, feel free to email me at [e-mail]!!!

[jaye]

thanks 1plus2 and mommy2three. after a fairly restful weekend i'm a bit more relaxed now. i think getting enough sleep is really important at this time!
you know i 'm hearing more and more about how the bond between the twins makes things easier - and i think i will focus on that!

xoxo

[mamacate]

You can do it! I found it easier and harder than I expected--in different ways. I was prepared for it to be *really* hard. TBH I think that helped. Just don't expect to be able to do anything but parent. IMO that's where people get into trouble--expecting to clean the house and have dinner ready, etc. Getting through the day with fed and reasonably happy children is an achievement to be celebrated.

We have a small house (though it's a house) and the money is okay, so we don't have those stresses. However, we still have a room we don't use because the kids are in with us at a year. Little babies don't take up that much space. Until recently I went out with them an awful lot to keep things interesting. I'm 33 and my partner is 36 so we're not babes in the woods. I find some maturity is a real benefit. You know that a year or two of your life spent focused only on the kids is not the end of the rest of the world. The perspective meant a lot to us.

I was given a piece of advice from another twin mama when I was pregnant: learn to ask for help! I was on bedrest for much of my pregnancy (primarily the first part--I bled for the first 20 weeks). I forced myself to ask friends and family for help. It was *really* hard to do but I am a "helper" by nature and I found that I had a lot of people eager to have a chance to give me a hand. It was a really nice *mitzvah*. Definitely an area of spiritual growth for me.

I know lots of people were in really bad shape physically, but for me it wasn't so bad. The bleeding in the first part of the pregnancy was awful because I was so scared all the time, but I was induced at 37w2d for PIH and I could easily have gone another week or two. I was really not that huge and not horribly uncomfortable. Granted, I did NOTHING but lie on the couch at the end there, but it wasn't impossible if I had realistic expectations. I think being on the bigger side is a good thing--it's the tiny 5'2" mamas who have a really rough time at the end.

Hugs and good luck. You'll work it out.

Cate