or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › Biggest Misconceptions
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Biggest Misconceptions - Page 6

post #101 of 120
Thread Starter 
Mee toooooo sistah!!
post #102 of 120
That we're stuck in the 1950's...

I was at Whole Foods buying some steaks for dinner and I asked for one that had a really small amount of fat, because DH doesn't like it, and I was kind of in a hurry to get home and get dinner on the table for DS and DH... and this woman (wearing a suit, hair in a twist and impeccable makeup) was like, "Its a sad day for women everywhere"

The $$ thing bothers me too... I gave up a extremely large salary to SAH with DS... but no one is interested in hearing THAT kinda thing :
post #103 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by muckemom View Post
That we're stuck in the 1950's...

I was at Whole Foods buying some steaks for dinner and I asked for one that had a really small amount of fat, because DH doesn't like it, and I was kind of in a hurry to get home and get dinner on the table for DS and DH... and this woman (wearing a suit, hair in a twist and impeccable makeup) was like, "Its a sad day for women everywhere"

The $$ thing bothers me too... I gave up a extremely large salary to SAH with DS... but no one is interested in hearing THAT kinda thing :
I don't understand....the woman's comment was directed at you? What does it mean? Confused, sorry. What does this have to do with the 1950s? I am presuming lots of people, men and women, buy steak at Whole Foods...
post #104 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by muckemom View Post
That we're stuck in the 1950's...

I was at Whole Foods buying some steaks for dinner and I asked for one that had a really small amount of fat, because DH doesn't like it, and I was kind of in a hurry to get home and get dinner on the table for DS and DH... and this woman (wearing a suit, hair in a twist and impeccable makeup) was like, "Its a sad day for women everywhere"

:
WTF???? I cannot believe a total stranger had the gall to make a comment to you like that. Why is it so wrong to do something nice for your significant other?? Would it be a "sad day for men everywhere" if your DH was doing the same thing?? What a jerk.
post #105 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by muckemom View Post
That we're stuck in the 1950's...

I was at Whole Foods buying some steaks for dinner and I asked for one that had a really small amount of fat, because DH doesn't like it, and I was kind of in a hurry to get home and get dinner on the table for DS and DH... and this woman (wearing a suit, hair in a twist and impeccable makeup) was like, "Its a sad day for women everywhere"
I agree. It was a sad day for women everywhere...that a total stranger felt she had the right to make a comment about your life choices, just because you're also a woman. How would that woman like it if a man made the comment that it was a sad day for men everywhere because she was in a suit and obviously on her way home from work?

Why is there this perception that men expecting us to stay home with out children in the 50s just because we're women was vile, but other women expecting us to WOH in the 00s just because we're women is acceptable?

I'm a woman. I make my life choices based on what works for me and my family - not based on anyone else's agenda, be they chauvinistic male or a certain kind of feminist.
post #106 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by mummy marja View Post
I hate when people assume that I have a lot of free time.

Designing and sewing is one of my passions..something that I must make time for no matter what. So I made a dress for my niece's wedding, and everyone comments, "Oh, it must be nice to have time to do that," as though if I gave them an hour they would be able to make something exactly like it. Ummm, no...this is what I do instead of watching TV or eating out or going to a movie or reading the paper!
So true! I have a coworker who always used to say, "Just wait 'til you have kids" when she would see me reading a book. She'd tell me how she used to be an avid reader, but no longer had any time. So now I have the little one and still read every day. Now her comments have morphed into, "Well, just wait 'til you have teenagers." : I guess she needs to feel superior no matter what. :

Some people thrive on telling others how eternally stressed and "busy" they are. Being overly busy doesn't make me feel accomplished, so I do my best to make sure my life isn't that way, and I don't feel the need to justify my schedule to others who buy into that busy = successful American ideal.
post #107 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Some people thrive on telling others how eternally stressed and "busy" they are. Being overly busy doesn't make me feel accomplished, so I do my best to make sure my life isn't that way, and I don't feel the need to justify my schedule to others who buy into that busy = successful American ideal.
Limabean, you are singing my song here! I've always said to DH "If I'm really busy, it means I'm failing". People confuse it with living......
post #108 of 120
Okay, I'm REALLY, really not trying to sound like that woman, but does she have multiple kids? You mentioned one, so maybe that's a difference. Not to justify her snotty attitude, but I think moms with like three kids really get no time. It's true, sometimes I feel busy and then realize I was so tired I wasted time on the internet when I could've run or read. But my time for reading went flying out the window when I had my second. There was just more to do, less time in the day to do it. Having one kept me pretty busy, but two just gave me almost no time to myself.

Anyway, I'm also confused. Did that woman really say that? That's just rude. And stupid.
post #109 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazelnut View Post
Okay, I'm REALLY, really not trying to sound like that woman, but does she have multiple kids? You mentioned one, so maybe that's a difference. Not to justify her snotty attitude, but I think moms with like three kids really get no time.
I have about six million times more downtime with three kids than I did with one and a job. I have a supportive spouse, which I didn't have before, and that makes all the difference in the world. That comment didn't sound like it had anything to do with how many kids anybody has - it sounded like "oh, some woman being the good little housekeeper - what a waste".
post #110 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I have about six million times more downtime with three kids than I did with one and a job. I have a supportive spouse, which I didn't have before, and that makes all the difference in the world. That comment didn't sound like it had anything to do with how many kids anybody has - it sounded like "oh, some woman being the good little housekeeper - what a waste".
ITA. This is exactly what I got from the post as well.
post #111 of 120
: I was commenting on two different posts. I think you were too? Anyway, I guess it just depends on the kids/sitution. Mine play together, but at 1 and 3 they need near constant supervision. With that much more dishes and laundry and less time in the day to do it (b/c I have to watch them together more), I just have way less time, and then there's another who sometimes wakes in the night. I agree that the woman making the comment was probably just being rude. It's just that I thought the poster mentioned rude lady as having kids (plural) and her having one little one, and to me there is a diff. Just felt like throwing that out there, not trying to play devil's advocate.
WRT the little housekeeper post, wasn't that from another poster? I understand the comment's intent. I was confused b/c I wasn't sure if the pp meant that that woman really said that, or was just scoffing and probably thinking something along those lines. If so, yeah, it's rude. That was one of my pet peeve's- the assumption that anything remotely resembling tradition is viewed as patriarchal and inherently unequal or sexist.
post #112 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazelnut View Post
Okay, I'm REALLY, really not trying to sound like that woman, but does she have multiple kids? You mentioned one, so maybe that's a difference. Not to justify her snotty attitude, but I think moms with like three kids really get no time.
She has a grown daughter who lives on her own and a 13yo. Part of this woman's personality is just complaining, justifying her stress, and trying to drag others to her level. If someone else is happy or has free time, it can't be because they structure their life that way and make conscious efforts to have time to themselves (and have a terrific partner who makes sure that everyone's needs are met), it must be because they don't have it as hard as she does yet, and "they'll see" later.

As for 2 kids being more work, I'm sure that's true, and I'll hopefully find out one day, but reading is just something I will always always do. My mom read every day, and she had 2 kids and had to raise us all by herself. If something is important to you, you make time for it. Reading might not be your "thing," but I'm sure there's something you enjoy doing that you make time for no matter how many kids you have!
post #113 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
As for 2 kids being more work, I'm sure that's true, and I'll hopefully find out one day, but reading is just something I will always always do. My mom read every day, and she had 2 kids and had to raise us all by herself. If something is important to you, you make time for it. Reading might not be your "thing," but I'm sure there's something you enjoy doing that you make time for no matter how many kids you have!
Lima, I just read the Iliad for fun while tandem nursing. So yes, you will be able to READ as long as you make it a priority. You may read in a slightly different position however.

And I read on the potty more now than I ever have before. DH likes to "catch" me in there begging for one more chapter before I have to go back out.
post #114 of 120
oh reading is definitely my thing. I think it's b/c I do freelance work at night often, so I am just too tired to keep it up. I do it, but much too slowly for my liking as my reading list grows and grows- and I often spend my free time "reading" and learning a lot here (although that's not how I would qualify reading!). I probably need more motivation b/c I get overwhelmed and give up (I think that's a misconception too- the mom who's just a mess with kids ala lynette on Desperate Housewives! I'm only like that on bad days. ). It's good to hear about moms with even more on their plate managing it.

But just wait til you are like me- you'll see. You won't keep it up then.
(that was a joke. )
post #115 of 120
Hazelnut: My post made no sense. I didn't realize you were replying to two posts, so I was replying to a post you didn't really make...

That probably made no sense, either. I hope I shake this cold soon - I seem to be thinking through cotton.
post #116 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazelnut View Post
oh reading is definitely my thing. I think it's b/c I do freelance work at night often, so I am just too tired to keep it up.
I hear ya! I actually have a full-time job editing from home, so I thought I would get burned out on reading for work and not want to read for pleasure, but I've had this job for 6 years now and that hasn't happened yet, thank goodness! Reading is just how I wind down at night -- no matter how tired I am, I'll read for at least 20 minutes. And if I'm not too tired, I'll read for an hour or two before bed. It relaxes me and provides a mental escape -- it's like my therapy!
post #117 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
I hear ya! I actually have a full-time job editing from home,

Well you would definitely make it hard to say "wait and see!" to with any seriousness! How do you do it full-time!? I can barely manage part-time, and with a little help from my mom. Well my 3yo is very strong-willed. Wait til you have one of those. THEN you'll see! Just wait! Then I'll have to make some big burden up to alleviate my guilt for not plowing through all my books. :
post #118 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazelnut View Post
Well you would definitely make it hard to say "wait and see!" to with any seriousness! How do you do it full-time!? I can barely manage part-time, and with a little help from my mom. Well my 3yo is very strong-willed. Wait til you have one of those. THEN you'll see! Just wait! Then I'll have to make some big burden up to alleviate my guilt for not plowing through all my books. :


I actually am blessed with a very easy-going (so far!) DS who takes loooong naps every day. So between working for a couple of hours before he gets up, working for 3 hours during his nap, and working for a couple of hours when DH gets home, I'm actually able to get it done and still have evenings and weekends relatively free. I freaked out about the logistics at first (and I still get overwhelmed sometimes, as evidenced by some of my frantic pleas for help here), but it's working okay for now.

I do have to admit, my reading material has gotten decidedly lighter in substance over the years -- these days I need stuff that's closer to "fluff" writing rather than something that's going to require intellectual effort.
post #119 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post

. So between working for a couple of hours before he gets up, working for 3 hours during his nap, and working for a couple of hours when DH gets home, I'm actually able to get it done and still have evenings and weekends relatively free.
except for the 3-hour nap. That is just cruelly unfair. Do you know how much reading time I spent on reading sleep books? :
post #120 of 120
The biggest misconceptions I've encountered are:

From MIL: That since I'm not Suzy Homemaker in a stereotypical, classic sense that I wouldn't enjoy being a SAHM!

From former co-workers: That SAHMing means you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. They think since you're not tied to a schedule at work, that you're not tied to any kind of schedule at all. Hmmm...did they forget there's a child involved in being a SAHM??

From other moms who aren't SAH: That every day is a sunshine filled wonderful day with your child! And that you must not have any money worries!

From husband: That it's a nice vacation for me from my career! Who said anything about not having to work as a SAHM??
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Stay at Home Parents
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › Biggest Misconceptions