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Decision to have another baby?

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
Any suggestions, encouragement, support etc. We have an 8 yr. 6yr daughters and 2 1/2 yr. old Idt.twin daughters. I certainly thought after twin I would want to have more children, as we all know they are handfull!! Now at 36 yr. old. I'm wondering and have thoughts of having another, but feeling weird about it. Questioning myself, am I too old? Am I really not realizing trying for a boy? What will people think of me having 5 children, people make lots of comments as it is? What if I have twins again? I just want to be sure of myself that I want a baby and not a trying for a boy (it feels selfish to me), but I'm sure deep down my husband and I do. I love my girls they are wonderful, they keep us smiling everyday! Just wondering if anyone had gone though these feeling?? Thanks for listening.:
post #2 of 47
I only have the twins but yes I do want more kids, if we had twins again I would feel double blessed again. I don't think you are crazy at all. IMHO the more people you have to love the more love you have to give. I grew up with 5 bros and sis we had 6 kids I never felt a lack of attention always had someone to play with. People who think that having more then 2 kids is a burden sometimes don't get how much joy children can bring to our lives. I say if you and DH want more go for it. My SIL thought they only wanted 2 got pg by suprise and now they can't imagine their lives without their youngest they always felt like somthing was missing in their lives b4 the youngest now they feel complete. I may be rambling a bit but I love big familys my uncle had 10 kids another 2 had 9 and all my cousins are happy well adjusted adults who love all thier bros and sis the one with 10 also had 4 special needs foster kids as well . A lot of people did think wow they have their hands full but they also saw how happy their family was and lots of people were jelous of all the love they had for each other
post #3 of 47
Just my opinion, but if you want another baby and think you can handle it ,then do it. Dont worry about what people say. They aren't the ones who raising the child. Also,there is a way to have a boy. If you really want a boy, go for it. Go and buy the book "how to choose the sex of your baby" . It comes down to science. Honestly, I had two boys and wanted two girls and read the book and did it to the 't' and got two wonderful girls. We did get a bonus girl in there but it worked. Fyi, we cant take all the credit though we did also pray for twin girls.
Another thing you mentioned was age. Well dont let age stop you. Look at all the people/celebrities having their first babies in their 40's. So go for it. ANd if you get a bonus baby (twins again) yay! you're doublely blessed again.
Anyways, hope that helps any.
take care
mama to ds1 (7)
ds2 (5.5)
dd1&2 (3)
post #4 of 47
I think large families are beautiful! I would love to have more children, my husband not so sure. If you and your husband agree, I say go for it! My aunt and uncle had 6 children, 5 girls and the last a boy. Her last was born when she was 42. She would have had more, but it didn't happen (they don't believe in birth control).
post #5 of 47
We knew we wanted more....just werent sure when.....but as you can tell from my siggy.....lol
post #6 of 47
We are planning on try when the girls turn 2. Naturally we wouldn't mind a boy (or two) but it isn't like I'd be heartbroken with another girl. DH insists that we will have twin boys next, but I'm happily dreaming on a nice, uncomplicated singleton pregnancy. If you want another, go for it! My mom had her last one at 36.
post #7 of 47
Thread Starter 
Wow, thanks so much for all your comments. Makes me feel much better about my feelings and doubts. Although our families migtht not be so supportive of our decision I am so happy I can get here at MDC!
post #8 of 47
I agree that if you and DH are truely on board with this then go for it. Don't let your family stop you! It is your decision, not theirs. AND NO, you are not too old, but your chance for a second chance at twins is higher .
post #9 of 47
Actually your chances of twins only increase if your twins are fraternal. Fraternal twinning occurs when the mother releases two eggs in an ovulation cycle. Identical twinning is a "fluke" and has no genetic predisposition. So, since your twins, 4daughters, are identical, you have no more chance of having a second set than if you didn't have twins at all, ya know what I mean?

I on the other hand have frat. twin boys and my chances have quadrupled, making it a 1 in 20 chance to have twins again. I want one more baby so badly, but just not ready to do the twin thing again. Been there done that. I love my twins and I am very happy to be blessed with that gift of two babies, but 5 children is just a little scary to me!

We too are having a very hard time trying to decide whether or not to have more. I go back and forth almost every day! Most of the time I feel like I do, but the thought is a little scary, however the thought of not having one more baby is heartbreaking.......ugh, I even confuse myself.

Good luck with your decision and whatever decision you make will be the right one. And remember, If God brings you to it, he will bring you throught it!
post #10 of 47
Thread Starter 
Funny thing is that my mom had fraternal twin boys, only one survived cause of complications, but Fraternal twins run in my family but I had Identical twins does that me there is still a chance of having twins again.

I go back and forth everyday with the decision too, but we do have a lot of love to give. I guess the scary thing is my chances of having twins again.
post #11 of 47
Well, yeah, your chances of having twins again are only because fraternal twinning runs in your family. Are you sure that you girls are identical and not fraternal? We were told that our boys were identical at birth, but it's obvious that they are not, and then we got a pathology report on the placenta and it was found to be 2 fused placentas instead of one, as originally thought. Therefore, they are fraternal.

I totally know about the going back and forth thing! Story of my life these days! The real problem is that hubby is less enthusiastic about having more than I am. I see one more as a piece of cake compared to having twins! Plus, the boys will be in 1/2 day kindergarten when the baby would be born, so for part of the day, it would be like having only one again. That was much easier than having twins, so that doesn't really scare me at all! But, now I am starting a ver fulfilling labor assistant career and possible some home birth assisting for my midwife and that is just awesome! I can't decide........:
post #12 of 47
We were originally going to TTC when the girls were 2, but Rivka came along when they were 17 months old : but it has been the biggest blessing having them so close togehter. We (read me dh wants to wait a bit longer) wanted to TTC when Rivka turned 1, but we are going back to the states for a time and plans are uncertain so it's not a good time to TTC at the moment. Also dh is not ready for 4 under 4. Our girls are frat (not officially but they look nothing alike so we assume) and I would love to be blessed with twins again. I was slightly dissapointed Rivka was a singleton. Almost felt like a let down, just *one* baby. Anyway that is a long winded (do we have a smiley for that) way of saying Yes, we would like more kids, yes I would be thrilled if we had twins again, and I think we will TTC within the next year or so, making our twins a bit over 4 and Rivka 2.5 - 3 when the new one will come.
post #13 of 47
Thread Starter 
Perhaps you can have a career and new baby, not easy but doable. Pretty sure my twins are identical, same blood type, in one membrane, but separate sacs, one placenta and they look exactly the same except one is thinner.
post #14 of 47
My kids are pretty close in age to yours and I'm 25 weeks pregnant with #5. Honestly the comments haven't been very nice this time but I really don't care (usually someone mentioning that either dh or I need to get fixed). One of my twins is a boy so at least I don't have to hear lots of comments about 'trying for that boy' like I did last time. I'm 30 so I'd love to have a few more although sometimes I think I lost my mind. I'm pretty happy about only having 1 baby this time though. My twin pregnancy was so rough.

My kids are 8 yog, 6 yog, and almost 2.5 yo b/g twins.
post #15 of 47
Thread Starter 
Wow they are the same ages! I guess those are the comments I'm afraid of, but as long and we're okay with it I guess I really should't care what everyone else thinks. right! Why do I? If I do get pregnant I don't think I'll tell anyone until I have no choice. I think I'm crazy too sometimes, but it is what it is.
post #16 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4daughters View Post
Perhaps you can have a career and new baby, not easy but doable. Pretty sure my twins are identical, same blood type, in one membrane, but separate sacs, one placenta and they look exactly the same except one is thinner.
definately identical then -- if the babies share *anything* they are identical..and even if they share nothing, there is still roughly a 25% chance that they are identical. The cheek swab test removes all doubt in the latter cases.

There are cases of ID twins running in families -- like the lady a year or two back who had identical quad girls...she was an identical twin herself with it running all through their family.
post #17 of 47

On this same topic - anyone craving a singleton experience?

I had DS - and so enjoyed him - but was much more mainstream in my approach to everything then. Then the triplets came along - all of a sudden I became very AP in my parenting style - but it was so difficult to parent that way with the higher order multiples. Now - even though the kids are sucking the life out of me most days (see my many many posts on that topic) - I find myself pining away for another singleton. A baby that I can sling all day, nurse on demand, extended BF, co-sleep, really truly bond with on a very deep level . . . . then I think of the downsides . . . not fitting in our minivan? . . .everything that frustrates my now being that much more frustrating (difficulty going out, going to playgroups or parks, socializing at all really) . . .and the hardest part is my frustration about getting so little time with any individual child . . .and I think how I would be further cheating my triplets . . .and poor older DS .. . by putting another baby's demands on me and their dad . . . .

Anyone else?
post #18 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilgsmommy View Post
We knew we wanted more....just werent sure when.....but as you can tell from my siggy.....lol
Is it Twins again?
post #19 of 47
Thread Starter 
Oh sure tripmom, I feel the same, don't know about you but my twins fight over me all the time. If one lays on me the other tries to pull the other off of me so she could have me all to herself. Don't get me wrong I love every minute of it, but when I think of have another I feel like you said having one and slinging, BFing etc. THen the frustration sets in my 4 bedrooms are full. Do I force my older kids to share a room? Finances? How would I spend time with them. They already feel like I favor the twins over them. AHHH! But someone told me if your in it you'll have no choice but to do it and everything will fall into place. Still pining....
post #20 of 47
It took me a while to feel ready again, and by 3.5 I said I'm as ready as i'll ever be LOL. I got pg and had a m/c, then got pg again a few motnhs later, so my guys will be almost 5 when their baby brother is born. I think this timing is the best for us, but you ahve to decide what you're ready for.
And don't worry about what other people think - they probably think you're nuts for haivng 4 already. I know people looked at me and were surprised I wasn't "done."
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