Describe your 9 to 11 year old ds, please!

[darien]

My almost 10 yo son is driving me SO crazy. I've been so mad at him this week, I've yelled and punished.

He's really smart, so why can't he remember anything IMPORTANT. And why does he act like a 4 year-old half the time?

I don't know if I'll feel better or worse, but please, tell me what your pre-teen sons are like.

[K&JsMaMa]

Sounds about right. :

My older son will be 12 in February. Often times I look at him and wonder what planet he came from. lol Great kid but very nutty. But then he can be so wonderful I'm : with him and so proud I am his mama.

Ok, I think I've used enough smilies. I'll stop before someone : at me.

[MizLiz]

This isn't uncommon... my ds has no problem remembering stuff that he finds interesting, but if it's something that's not in his radar, forget it! This is kind of a tough age as the kids are now big and precocious is some ways, but they are still kids with growing up to do in many other areas. Try not to let it drive you too nuts; your ds will grow past this.

[elizam]

Well, Mine Hit This Stage

around 10-11 and is now 13. It seems to have reached a peak of sorts 9although, other times he seems so much more mature and responsible). So now, after all these years 9some of them homeschooled), his teachers tell me he probably is ADD because of his forgetfullness.

[mommy68]

My son will be 11 in a month and he does this sometimes as well, mainly when his younger siblings are bugging him. I deal with it during the week because he gets stressed out at school and I tend to understand that and look over it. I usually just try to not pressure him right after picking him up at school. I don't ask too many questions about his day (he hates that) and I let him talk to me and tell me what he wants me to know until I feel he's more relaxed later in the evening.

My oldest also loves to spend "adult" time around his dad and I rather than spending it always playing with his younger siblings. He's at that age where he loves to be silly and young most of the time but also wants to be respected for knowing the things that he knows and loves just sitting and chatting with his dad and I. I try to keep that in mind when dealing with him as well and not commenting to him or treating him like a child.

It's so hard to realize that he's growing up and will be in middle school next year I still want to treat him like my baby boy and realize that just isn't realistic at this point in his life.

[SRHS]

Sounds just like my almost 10 year old. He is homeschooled, so we haven't had to deal with the ADHD stuff....However, I can certainly tell the hormones are a ragin'!!! Sometimes he is so mature and other times he dissolves isnto tears..


And yes, Zac only remembers what is important to HIM...but that stuff, boy can he remember it!!

[darien]

I do feel better! Thanks, mamas.

[SRHS]

Some days are worse than others and on those days, boy do we need the support and reassurance that its not just our preteen!!!

HUGS, Sus

[tinybutterfly]

Ds#2 is 12 and it's been a rollercoaster ride for about the past two years.

He was soooo easy before. And sometimes now his old self is still there...affectionate, happy, easy to get along with.

Other times it's not so easy, and really somedays he runs the gamut...like a whole Jekyll and Hyde review in one day! :

Have BTDT with ds#1, who is 18 now, and it gets better. And some days are still really good.

Really I have a lot of empathy for them both...I am going through perimenopause big time and I am up and down, and all over the place, too. Hormones and trying to figure out who you are and what you are doing ( or going to do) with your life can can be a tad overwhelming at times.

[oldcrunchymom]

My son will be 11 in December and we have the same issues. He is loving and huggy one minute and extremely rude the next. Some weeks are better than others. That type of behavior gets old REALLY quickly, though. Some days I am just :

[Alkenny]

8-12 seemed to be the 'rough' years with DD. DS will be 11 next week so we're right in the midst of it. We're working on his 'forgetfulness' right now (he's left 3 jackets in his locker at school, so he had to layer on a sweatshirt for his walk to school today..I was not driving him no matter how cold it was. Mean?)

Our biggest issue though is the KNOW IT ALL attitude. He knows everything, he is never wrong, and if something goes wrong it is never his fault.

Ah, joys!

[SRHS]

Know it all

NOw THAT one is easy for me to ignore, because generally he figures out really fast that whoops, mom did know what she was talking about...but that "it's never my fault' thing bothers me...makes me think they will never take responsibility for their own actions and if not, then how do they learn from mistakes???

[oldcrunchymom]

My 8.5yo was in a really foul mood this morning and actually said to me, "It's YOUR fault. EVERYTHING is your fault."

[SRHS]

WHOA!!! HOw'd you respond to that one? I think I would hav eliked to say...YOU ARE RIGHT!!! I cause the sun to rise in the east and to set in the West....watch out or it's 24 hours of darkness for you!!!

[darien]

Originally Posted by lckrause

My 8.5yo was in a really foul mood this morning and actually said to me, "It's YOUR fault. EVERYTHING is your fault."

Oh no! Tell her at least some of it is MY fault. I'll share the heat.

[TAC]

My ds is 10 and in 5th grade. He has an older sister and boy what a difference. He is sloppy, forgetful, unkempt. Why or why do I have to tell him to use soap when he showers : . I don't really have an attitude problem with him. But when I go to the middle school, all the boys are like this. They are rough and tumble and completely absorbed in there own boy world. This must be why they say girls mature faster than boys... and do they ever

[oldcrunchymom]

Originally Posted by SRHS

WHOA!!! HOw'd you respond to that one? I think I would hav eliked to say...YOU ARE RIGHT!!! I cause the sun to rise in the east and to set in the West....watch out or it's 24 hours of darkness for you!!!

Haha. Actually, I'm afraid I did say something like that! : I was just so done with her attitude by that point. She is usually lovely, but when she gets going, watch out. Luckily her dad came about a minute later to pick up the kids for the weekend, so that defused the situation.

[oldcrunchymom]

Originally Posted by darien

Oh no! Tell her at least some of it is MY fault. I'll share the heat.

I tried to tell her that sometimes things just happen (like growing out of her socks, which is what she was throwing a fit over) but she wasn't having any of it. Next time I'll lay some of the blame on other moms too. "It's not just me, it's ALL moms! We're ALL responsible for your miseries!"

[jeanieloz]

Oh aren't they fun!!!
My 11 yr old is just the same, but the almost 15 yr old has finally come out of the preteen funk.
I have read that the nerve endings in the brain are lengthening at this time of development and that they misfire often... but when they are strong again, is when you get your kid back.
So there is a LOT going on in that little body. It's tough for them, the struggle to be a big kid, but still have the little kid in their heart. And tough for us, the struggle to not commit them, or to let them be and grow and come back better...
Donna

[Lavinia]

Jesse

My 10 year old is, dare I say it, cocky. He's a good looking kid, and has two older brothers who are in well-known bands in our area, and he acts like the sun shines out his bum.

He's funny (a little cheeky at times), sweet when he wants to be, and mine, so I love him.

But goodness, he couldn't think any more of himself if he tried!