Sleep....

[crazyeight]

I really want it..... DD still doesn't go to bed for the night until 11 p.m. then sleeps until about 3 or 4 a.m. and after that its all down hill (she wakes up/doesn't sleep well after that time) and then ds gets up at 8ish. i am so going to die!! dh goes back to work monday and hes been great and lets me sleep in until whenever but thats not going to happen anymore. he leaves for work at 6:30 and gets home at 5ish. i am already cranky and overtired from her last few days of sleeping badly throughout so i am just wondering how in the world i am going to be a good mom (i.e. not crying/screaming/breaking down).

i have considered changing ds to go to bed later but i am not sure he would wake up later. PLUS dh is going to have to go to bed at 9:30 or so and dd has a horrbly lllloooooonnnnnggggg "going to sleep" routine (at 11 or so) and i don't want dh to be strung out cause then he'll get home more exhausted and i still wont get help.

anyone had any success "resetting" their dc's sleep?

[Guest*]

I wish I had advice for you, but all I have is

My first dd woke up every 45-90 minutes for 2 years. We were sleep-deprived and angry. Nothing worked until she older and made the decision to go to bed at a decent hour and sleep through the night herself.

But, here's what helped us cope

- Cover your clock or take it out of the room. When you wake up and see the time, it makes you feel worse.

- As difficult as it is and as abstract as it may seem, be patient because she will grow out of this quickly. The first year goes by at lightning speed. Try to savor some of those precious moments that do happen in the middle of the night. Remind yourself of this.

- Take deep breaths.

- If you or your DH feel yourselves getting stressed out, leave the room until you calm down. It's okay if you let your baby cry for a few minutes if you feel you are going to lose it. Leaving them alone to regain your composure and calm down is not as damaging as what could happen if you force yourself to stay.

- DH and I switched weekends for sleeping in. One weekend, he would get up with dd when she got up at an ungodly hour while I slept as long as I needed. The next weekend was his turn to sleep. We just did the best we could otherwise.

- Some people love the tips in No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I read it cover to cover and did what I could, but it didnt work with my dd, but I do know people who have had success with it.

- A phrase that helped me through some really tough times was "You can't make your kids eat, sleep, or be happy." It's the truth. Sometimes just hearing that brought my stress down so I could be a sympathetic mom and get the energy to get me through some very tough days and nights.

Hang in there. Sleep issues are probably the hardest part of "parent bootcamp."

[gwinith]

danielle, i'm just waiting for my first to be born (due sept 23) but thought i'd add my 'unexperienced' 2 cents worth b/c i hear your dilemma loud and clear.

could you find a place for ethan to go for a couple hours during the day so you might sleep when ayla sleeps in the daytime? do you trust anyone to take care of him so you can sleep while ayla sleeps daytime hours?

if you don't have anyone, then not sure if you are into tv BUT my mom used to plug me in while she slept ... so i'm just thinking here, if sleep is your priority, could you find a suitable distraction for ethan on a video while you lock yourself and ayla in the room with him (therefore knowing he's not going anywhere, is safe and watching some educational program) and although you may not sleep deeply, you may get that chance to have your eyes closed and rest your brain for 20 minutes to at least feel refreshed - sometimes that is as good as sleep (asuming you time this all while ayla is napping too) ...

sorry if i've offended with the TV thing, or by suggesting dozing off a bit while DS is awake watching tv, but i have witnessed my friend's wife who was at her wits end and became hysterical and wanted to throw her crying children off the balcony (and she was the most holistic granola mom i ever met.... but her kids' unconsolable crying and her own sleep deprivation turned out to be a serious thing) so having witnessed worst case scenarios am trying to give some possible ideas if having a helper isnt' possilbe. but do consider family, friends, paid help or what about trading services- say 3 hours of child care for ethan for some home cooked freezer meals that you prepare?)

grasping at straws... hope you find some solutions... i'm sure i'll be in sleep deprivation mode soon enough (though with only one, i'll be able to sleep with babe- assuming babe will sleep)

keep us posted,

gwinith

[crazyeight]

I am going to try and ignore the clock...its just i seem to get dioriented when i don't know what time it is. I always have a watch on and a clock in every room. Guess my "internal clock" doesn't work that well!!

DH suggested that when he gets home if ayla is sleeping that i just go to bed and he'll watch ethan. Some days i will take him up on that but I also feel that when he gets home i want to spend time with him, plus I hope to start making dinner again soon....we are eating crap right now.

Unfortuneatly we don't have anyone close to watch ethan. All our family is far away and I haven't made any friends here. Its difficult but thats another story.

After I get up (even at the crack of dawn....) I usually feel better...the "must get stuff done/have to be awake hormones/adrenaline" kicks in enough for me to at least function but not always in the best of ways.

Funny thing is that i LOVE TV. I am really addicted but ds isn't really into it that much. He watches blues clues as long as i am in the room with him. Hes usually pretty good at staying out of stuff/not getting in trouble. The big thing with him is that hes always asking to eat/drink/help right when i sit down/start nursing or are otherwise occupied!! But I do see myself turning on the prerecorded (i was thinking ahead and recorded a whole bunch) blues clues and me just closing my eyes and going into that half sleep for most of my mornings for quite some time. I just also have a hard time telling myself that my to do list can wait!!

I feel better this morning (i was writing in a sleep deprived and already strung out yesterday) but I know that it will start all over again tonight....and i am anxious at what tomorrow will bring!!

Yes its usually much easier with one since you have the ability to sleep when they are and i was super lucky to have the easiest baby in the world with ethan!!

[Guest*]

Just another

I wish I could help you out. It's so hard, but you'll find a way to make it all work.