When would you homeschool?

[kathymuggle]

My son goes to school part time (and is homeschooled the other 1/2)-he has done this since grade 3. It works, for the most part! LOL! He is in grade 5 right now, and I am looking towards to the future. Next year is grade 6, and then, middle school!!!

I am very seriously considering NOT allowing him to go to middle school. DH is on board. I find those years to be tough, hormonally anyway, without adding school and peer dominance to the mix. I hated grades 7-9, as did my Dh. In fact, I do not know many adults/adolescents who like/liked school during this time. Most adolescents I know were downright miserable during those years.

What are your thoughts/experience? Are homeschooled children happier during the 12-14 years by virtue of being at home? I kind of think the hormones are natural, but the school environment at that age, isn't.

Is there a time in a child/adolescents life where you are more determined to homeschool them?

[simple living mama]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Is there a time in a child/adolescents life where you are more determined to homeschool them?

I wanted a free child from the beginning. It was really important to us that our child be able to understand learning in a non coerced way right from the start. Now part of that means if my child want's to go to school at some stage, it is up to me to make that happen. But I get the feeling that it wouldn't take long for my child to see the absurdity of doing things like raising your hand to go to the bathroom, not being allowed to draw or fold origami while the teacher is reading, etc....

If you pull your child out after all this time, he may not like that. If your child sees he has no say in the matter, you might create a wedge between you and your child. But if your child is complaining or you see his spirit breaking, then offering him homeschooling full time would be a good idea.

Make it his decision. The best thing we could do for our child is let them come to conclusions on their own. It is the start to becoming an independent young adult. If he understand the decision was his to make, he will be content and feel in control of his own life.

[momto l&a]

I personally don't think going to school is natural. Being cooped up all day is hard on a child especially a boy.


This coming from a gal who was hsed till 1oth grade when I chose to go to private school.

[Fieryfly]

We had a taste of what was to come when we sent my DS to 4th grade at the local public school last year(he wanted to go). While he did enjoy a lot of the social aspects of school, there was strong peer pressure, boy crazy girls and girl crazy boys, teasing, and plenty of kids who had much more free time and freedom to do what they wanted than my kids(if the kids could do this at 10, what would they be doing at 13?). It ended up being a very good year for my son to go to school, and if my DD starts asking to go to school at the same time he did, we will probably let her go for 4th also.

So when it came time to choose what we were going to do for 5th grade(middle school here is 5-8th), we ultimately chose to homeschool again. We involved our DS as much as we could in the decision, but we felt it was the best if we made the ultimate decision. Our kids will most likely have more say in where they go to school as they get older.

THe more I think about it, I would love to homeschool through 8th grade, and then let the kids go to high school if they chose. Homeschooling is very important to me in the early elementary years when the kids are learning to read, write, and learning othe essential years. I wanted this done in a specific environment and give them a confident and comfortable foundation. As my oldest has entered the "tween" years, I can see the shift in his thinking, and I want him to keep working up to his potential.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

What are your thoughts/experience? Are homeschooled children happier during the 12-14 years by virtue of being at home? I kind of think the hormones are natural, but the school environment at that age, isn't.

Some are happier, and some aren't. I've seen both. The situations where they were not happier were ones in which their moms were not providing the freedom and outside social opportunities they craved. They ended up back in school before long, and they were happier there. To make a generalization, I've seen a lot of boys that age to be driven toward more autonomy, wanting to cut the apron strings and get some space of their own - so that's something to keep in mind as part of the big picture. I'm not saying they want to cut off their relationship with their moms, but just to have more recognition of their identity as budding young men rather than as children. Lillian

[kathymuggle]

Ds was homeschooled to Grade 3. We were very loose about HS - but still, he had a great foundation in reading and math.

In gr 3, 4 and 5 - he has gone to school 1/2 time - it has worked, sort of, but I have to resist the urge to pull him anytime anything happens. I do not really like PS. My son, however, chooses to go there - which i think is a great gift to him and the school. He understands he can be homeschooled!

The reason I am thinking about taking away this choice (and I am just thinking about -no firm decision yet!) is because I really did not like middle school! It is so hard not to put our own experiences/expectations onto our children. It is even hard to sort out what is reality versus what is my own experience.

No flames, pleae: I am just being honest.

kathy

[phathui5]

No, I wouldn't recommend not sending him because you didn't like middle school. While I personally wouldn't send my kids to school regardless of the enrollment options, I'd think that with a kid his age you need to be able to articulate better reasons than the fact that you had a bad experience. He is old enough to have a real discussion about why he wants to go versus why you don't want to send him. But like you said, don't put your experiences onto him.

[Lisalucy]

I once heard a homeschooler mother, who had also been a public schoolteacher, say that if she could only homeschool for one period of time she would homeschool a girl during the middle/jr. high school years and a boy during high school. She was of course making a huge generalization based only on her view of the typical child and the typical school experience. I found it an odd but interesting conversation. I think this is what the OP is getting at?

--LL

[kathymuggle]

Yeah, that is what I am getting at. I am curious about when people think it is the most important time to HS, and why. Or, if you knew in advance that you would only HS for a few years, what would those years be???

I am also trying to sort out in my own mind, what is reality about middle school versus what is me putting my own experiences on my children. Obviously, I do not want to do that.



kathy

[muse]

I'm new to homeschooling but personally I feel the early years are the crucial ones. Once my kids have a solid grounding and are confident, I feel/hope they can deal with whatever is ahead.

At the same time, middle school is a bizarre concept to me (doesn't exist in the UK), and seems just destined for disaster! Those are the years people here go to private schools.

So, I don't know what we'll do in the long run but I could imahine hsing for kindergarten at the very LEAST, and maybe up to 8th grade at the most. Maybe I will put them in school from 1st-6th grade, then pull them out for 2 years? I feel good about the high school here, and by then hope to have raised confident, independent learners who will get from it what they need.

[UUMom]

My young teen has friends in the neighborhod who are sufferring terribly at public middle school. (Their blogs alone are horrific-- these poor kids suffer so!) I don't have to tell her she can't go, their horror stories say it all. She wants absolutely *no* part of it. She has plenty of hsing friends who aren't suffering this way. There is no point to any of that. Our culture is sick.

If there were any years I would forbid public schooling, it would be 7th and 8th grade. I think all years are important to hs.

[mommy68]

I feel the same way you do. My oldest is in his last year of elem school right now and it's a private school and we love it. He is looking VERY forward to middle school next year and I have my thoughts on it. I go back and forth. I have always said we will H/S again when he is in high school as we will do for the other kids as well but I don't know yet. He loves school at this point and looks forward to middle school. It's going to be tough deciding. We may start 6th and see how it goes from there. But I will take him out in a heartbeat if he seems unhappy or disturbed in any way or struggles any.

[umbrella]

Originally Posted by Lisalucy

I once heard a homeschooler mother, who had also been a public schoolteacher, say that if she could only homeschool for one period of time she would homeschool a girl during the middle/jr. high school years and a boy during high school. She was of course making a huge generalization based only on her view of the typical child and the typical school experience. I found it an odd but interesting conversation. I think this is what the OP is getting at?

--LL

I can really see where she's coming from.

If you read all the various "mean girls" books that are out there right now, they portray middle school as the worst.

I personally plan on letting my kids take more and more classes once they're high school aged, but even then, I'd rather they take classes at a local CC, than in a high school setting.

[slacker_mom]

I have thought about this a bit, since I'm not sure I will be able to homeschool the whole way through.

I may be able to delay sending her to school until 5th grade; a lot of charter schools in our area start that year. Then she could help pick the school she would go to, based on her learning style and interests at that point. I think that she should have a much stronger sense of self (and self-worth) in school if we can homeschool up to that point.

It also gives me more time to figure out a plan to homeschool the whole way through, if that is what would work best for us.