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Nightweaning your twins

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
I would like some information about how other multiple moms nightweaned. Can you relate the how and why's? Also I am curious about the age, or do you plan on letting the babies just wean themselves?

We have our 18 mos twins in a queen bed next to our king bed. Most nights they start out on the queen. Dad can put them down without me nursing them to sleep. He will read stories and then cuddle with them till they fall asleep. Keeping them asleep is the problem. Usually by 2 am I have both in the king bed with me, hubbies on the queen and they are nursing constantly till morning. Maybe it just feels that way because there are two. Sometimes I can detangle from one or both but within a few hours I'm right back to the tandem nursing. I am exhausted and am exploring my options. Any feed back is helpful.


The most interesting nights are when my four year old refuses to snuggle with dad and causes a ruckus and then everyone is up for the night.
post #2 of 32
Hi, Julianne. I haven't yet night weaned my twins (and won't for a while since they are only 4-months) but I did night wean my oldest dd when she was your babies' age. Have you ever read Dr. Jay Gordon's method for night weaning? He is VERY pro co-sleeping and bf'ing and bases his method on a family bed, etc. He also doesn't use CIO in his method. I do believe his website address is www.drjaygordon.com. If that's not it then do a search for Dr. Jay Gordon...I'm sure you'll find his site.

We didn't use his method to the letter but read it and then used the parts that worked for us. My dd was night weaned in 3 nights with very little fussing. I was pleasantly surprised!!!
post #3 of 32
One of the boys night weaned himself at about 13months, so I only had one to contend with until 27 months. We used an idea from the No-cry sleep solution-my dh slept with him, and I went to another room. My ds #2 was already sleeping in his own bed, so i just slept in the other bed in his room. ds# 1 fussed the first night or two, but got over it quickly. I don't know if this will work with two-good luck!
post #4 of 32

Still going

My b/g twins are still nursing strong at 19 months. I too am feeling as if I seriously need a break. I wake up every morning with my body aching from two toddlers hanging off me most of the night. Last night my daughter actually slept in her toddler bed unitl 5 am and my son came in at some point of the night. He is a continuous nurser like my daughter so I actually got some great sleep for once.
With all my other children I nursed until we were both ready to stop and I plan on still doing this with these two even though I may be a half dead walking zombie by the time we are done!
Proffessionally I can tell you that one of your best bets will be to have Dad sleep with them for awhile instead of you or just start offering a cup of water instead and be stern about your decision to stop the night nursing. You may also go about it gradually and cut out one nursing per night. That may be harder to do since you just fall back to sleep.
Good luck and email if you have any other questions!
post #5 of 32
I weaned my dd's at 20 months. We sleep with them in a king bed in their bedroom. I guess it sounds terrible but I would say goodbye when it was bedtime and pretend to leave the house but I would really go into our bedroom and sleep and my dh would put the girls to bed and stay sleeping with them. It took about 3-5 nights until I could come back to bed. Now instead of nursing I have one that sucks my twinskin to sleep and the other plays with my hair. I always said that I would let them lead the way but I was getting physically and emotionally drained. Hope this helps.
post #6 of 32
Thread Starter 
Thank you ladies for your input.
1plus2 Thanks for the Dr gordon link. I am reading thru Dr Gordons work and it sounds interesting.......I hope it will prove useful when the time comes to wean.
Mommy of twins I am glad to know you are still sleeping with them even after weaning. it sounds like your DH weaned them together.
We were thinking about doing them one at a time. Any thoughts on this?? from any body???
post #7 of 32
Julianne - I forgot to mention a couple of other things I did to make weaning Haven easier. One thing was to tell her that we would nurse at bedtime and then not again until the sun came up. I would say "When the sun is up you can nurse again but if you wake up before then I'll pat your back or sing to you." She understood that concept at 18-months. I would also limit how long she could nurse at bedtime. I'd tell her she had 5 minutes to nurse then would tell her when there was 1 minute left and then when to let go. That also worked well too.
post #8 of 32
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the extra advise. My daughter can definately understand about "mama juice" not being served during the dark. We will probably try to night wean next weekend. My sisiter who is due 6/8 with her first child is coming for a visit this weekend. We decided not to freak her out with the nightweaning scene. I'm still torn about whether to do them one at a time or together. And of course which one first.....

Again thanks for your support and input.

post #9 of 32
Thread Starter 
In case anyone is interested............we started nightweaning.
We decided to start with my daughter. She is about 4 weeks ahead of my son in developement and has all of her teeth. She has gone many nights from 7pm to 4am without nursing. Last night she woke twice and was comforted back to sleep by my husband with out too much fuss. she went without nursing from 7pm to 6am. I was in my 4yo daughter's room with my second daughter's twin brother. I slept on a fouton on the floor with the twin and my 4yo slept in her bed. My 4 yo loved the extra company. We'll see what happens tonight.
post #10 of 32
I am interested in knowing if you have night weaned successfully or still working it all out? I am so ready to make that step. I just feel exhausted from the lack of sleep and my body hurts from having 2 hang off of me all night. I am lucky if I have an hour or two of time to sleep alone each night. I am going to llok up Dr. Gordan's site too!
post #11 of 32
Thread Starter 
My daughter is finished nursing at night!!!! Without any difficulties. She sleeps pretty much from 7pm-6am with an occasional call for attention. What a relief it has been. She comes into our room when she wakes up and we nurse. She is down to 3 times a day.
My son............now there is another story. We tried to do the same method with my son. After four hours of on and off crying and settling we decided to wait a few more weeks. He will go to sleep at 7pm, wake at 10 to nurse, go back to their bed and sleep till 2am at which point we bring him into bed with us. He did just recently give up that 10 am nursing for a few nights. He only has 10 teeth but it looks like more are on the way. We are hopeful that he will be ready to try again soon.
In conclusion........it is a breeze to only nurse one baby at night. He seems to be a few months behind his sister in developement so we are waiting for a few signals from him. Maybe after this next round of teething.

Good luck with your night weaning.
post #12 of 32
My son and daughter slept wonderfully from 3 weeks to 8 weeks and then it all went downhill. My son would sleep all night most nights until around a year of age and then he started getting up alot through out the night and my daughter has always been a terrible sleeper and after 8 weeks of age demanded that she sleep with us and only us. My son would sleep in his bassinet or crib just fine and actually prefered it. I don't mind one in my bed but two.....that's another story. I read Dr. Gordon's advice and will start tonight . He seems like a cool guy! I wish all people in the medical field were that way. I am not sure how much it can apply to twins but I am giving it a good try!
My son too seems behind my daughter in some ways but in others he is ahead. My daughter talks like crazy, asks questions, etc. but my son's speech is limited. Is your son bigger then your daughter? Mine were only 1 oz apart at birth and then my son remained 4 lbs ahead so far.
I'll keep you posted on our progress!
post #13 of 32
Thread Starter 
Please let me know how the nightweaning is going!!!! I am still on the fence about my son. He just doesn't seem ready. My daughter is doing really well.......sleeping 10 hours every night.
I am trying to reduce the daytime nursing to two but can't decide which to go with the after nap nursing or the before bed nursing. I am open to suggestions. My daughter seems fine with any weaning attempt I make. My son is not ready to give anything up. However whenever she sees her brother nursing she does the happy dance and sidles right up to the bar. I do so love nursing them. Just feel that it is time to begin winding down.
post #14 of 32
Cakes, SOrry I have been so busy I forgot about trying to keep you updated. I need to print out Dr. Gordons info. and try harder but I have been trying to nurse them just until they seem finished and then take them off the breast and also put them in their toddler beds. (Their room is ajoining ours)
It works very well for my daughter but she is right back in my room in an hour. SHe has alway released as soon as she is finished but my son wants to hang on all night long. Now last night he actually slept 6 hours straight. He hasn't done that in a long time.
Over-all I am trying to just remove them as soon as they are finished like Dr. Gordon suggested for the first few days and trying to limit the always open bar during the day. I am not ready to end nursing all-together but want to end the night nursing and am ready to get them out of my bed so I can start getting some much needed sleep! I think it has benn somewhere between 4 -5 years since I have had a full nights sleep!
I also want to get online and chat with Dr. Gordon about how effective his plan is in regards to multiples and see if he suggests and alterations?
To answer your question about which nursing to remove first, always take away the least important one first and then give them time to get over that before removing the next nursing time. This also gives your body time to adjust to the change to prevent engorgement and mastitist.
Good luck and hopefully things work out for both of us!
post #15 of 32
Thread Starter 
Just as an update for future night weaning Moms of multiples.............
My son is 21 mos old. We are attempting to night wean this week end. His twin sister was a breeze to night wean at 18-19 mos. I'm not so sure about my boy.
We've been talking to him about it all week. He always agrees to the plan but continues to wake three to four times a night for nursing. I've also been shortening the nursing time all week. I hope this helps!! My husband will take over the "night Nursing' for the next four nights. I know my son will be well cared for but I am not looking forward to the "fussing"....

post #16 of 32
Good luck Cakes! We have not had any luck yet. They are just not ready. I have to say though that Amber finally slept in her bed all night twice this week. It was so much easier and I had so much more uninterrupted sleep with just one in my bed. Now if I can just get both of them in their own beds and nightweaned. Everything in time I know!
post #17 of 32
Thread Starter 
Well so far so good. My son has taken to night weaning like a pro. We had very little upset from him the last three nights!!!!! The first night he cried for about 20 minutes but it was the non sobbing kind of cry. It still broke my heart but thru out it all I heard my wonderful husband's calm whispers reassuring my son. The second night was nothing and the third night was nothing. We are so fortunate to have timed everything so well. Patience does pay. I am also reaffirmed in my belief that the twins will always do things when they need to and i need to respect their differences.
post #18 of 32
We have night weaned, but still co-sleep. Dad sleeps in "their" room with two twin beds, they share a queen and single with me. We at this point only get dad if we have a nightwaking problem (illness). Our next plan is to have Dad get in with them and me sleep in their room, but in all cases we protect all of our sleep, Sleep deprivation has been the worst enemy.

It is just tough. Some of milestones were when they could both double nurse at night with pillows with me on my back, yes you wake up sore and touched out, but if my feet didn't touch the floor in the night I called it good.

Pushed solids and lots of drinks before bed, verbally told them the noni's would be there in the morning.

At nap time started -- you can just have "one-two" noni's. I would let them have a few sucks--to my tolerance and say "one-two" we cuddle now--that way I didn't have to say a negative. As that worked, then it worked in the middle of the night, they would latch on and I would say remember "one-two" they let go and went back to sleep. Gradually to no night latching on. Now this was a transtion, didn't happen over night, but consistencency/with love on my part/we made it to a better road.

Now Dad can run their ear to sleep, we still have some "one-two's" and one twin prefers to just go to bed with me laying with him. They will go sleep with caregivers reading or watching a vide--but they are older than some at this point dealing with the issue.

Elizabeth Pantley-No Cry Sleep was very helpful to get me out of the rut and make a survival plan for our family.
post #19 of 32
DEFINITELY read Elizabth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution". it's an important and gentle book, and may help you a lot. We followed her suggestions starting at 7 months, and saw definite improvement almost right away. There were still a lot of hard nights to come, but we had a strategy to dealing with them. Our boys just turned two at the beginning of may, and I just weaned them a couple of weeks ago! It was incredible, and they really initiated it.

I know how exhausted you are. There will be an end to it! Please please read Elizabeth Pantley. I feel like she knows wise attachment parenting better than most, and has the most healthy suggestions for better sleep.

Good luck,

post #20 of 32
My girls are 27 months and wake up maybe 3 or 4 times each at night. For extra space, we put a twin mattress on the floor next to our bed and I put them down there everytime they climb up. I nurse them down there when they really wake up and just reach down and rub their backs when they sort of wake up. I was getting frustrated having them hang on me all night, but now that my husband and I have a space of our own, I don't mind the night wakings as much and they go back to sleep very quickly. I am beginning to encourage night weaning by asking them to wait until morning and one of them accepts that more readily than the other and will just go back to sleep. When they're ready, they'll wean. One thing I can't stand lately, is the half-hearted nursing. When they get the milk flowing, I don't mind, but not the little suck suck thing. It's not comfortable for me, and maybe it even has to do with it not really stimulating the mothering hormone when toddlers nurse like that. When they were small, I could nurse all day and night without complaining.
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