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what you wish someone had told you when you were expecting multiples - Page 3

post #41 of 67
I had my girls 2 1/2 weeks after I found out about them, so I didn't get much advice at all. I agree with pp about wishing I had known more about preemies, since mine ended up coming early. I was SO sure I was going to carry them to term, and I didn't want to 'jinx' myself by reading up on premature birth. Luckily, I knew enough about c-section births to know what to expect there, since the second baby was born that way.

There is one thing I am really glad that someone DID tell me about twins: a mother of twins told me, "I'm not going to tell you any horror stories about twins, because there aren't any. They're just a blessing." She was right, and I don't have any twin horror stories, either
post #42 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalynnsmom View Post
Just reading this thread, I'm expecting twin boys soon. I am SO glad to read this. I've had a lot of twin moms who told me that I HAVE to read Babywise :
That's b.s.! I have twins, and I have never let them CIO. I have let them cry for a few minutes while I use the bathroom or bathe one, but not just let them cry themselves to sleep. I'm glad you found this thread, too
post #43 of 67

Ice Cream

The best advice i got was from a mom who's twins are now grown. She told me i should set up a really comfortable place in my house, maybe the bed or a pull out couch in the living room, and for a little while, just stay there with you new babies. Don't expect yourself to do anything else but breastfeed, sleep, and get to know them. The best part was she discribed that her favorite memory from that time was that her DH would spoon feed her Ben & Jerry's ice cream while she nursed. My own DH was present for the conversation and he took her advice. ICE Cream was the best. Just take care of yourself and let everything else go for a while.
post #44 of 67
That is so sweet. :
post #45 of 67
Get your house super organized before the birth, so people can help you. Post a list of instructions for the washer / dryer and how you like to use what soap etc. so they can just walk in and do your laundry without training. Get someone to organize some meals for you, even if it just take out.
post #46 of 67
I haven't read all posts, but here's my 2 cents. RELAX during pregnancy. Eat well and drink lots of water. RELAX.

I was so worried and reading everything that I could about twin preg and what to expect.......my doctor was even telling me to chill out!!

I weight 110 lbs and 5' 1" tall. I carried my boys full term and one weighed 7 lbs, the other 5 lbs 7 oz.

I don't remember much in those first 3 months. I was an insomniac, meaning that I didn't sleep hardly any and I didn't care. I breastfed, slept with babies during naps, and changed diapers all day. I loved it!! I did need help with every other responsiblility (cleaning, food, house maintenance). My husband was a saint.
post #47 of 67
Lots of things are a blur now, but I can support the others who said let your babies get their own rhythms. Yes, it made for more work and less sleep in the beginning, but they eventually ended up meshing with eachother and now they are in the same groove together.

Also, I have to admit that there were a couple of months early on that were extremely difficult for us taking care of the girls solo. It was probably around months 5-7, right before they became mobile but they were old enough to want to both be attached to me or dp at all times. It was frustrating for them and for us.

And I know that lots of people have great success BF twins - I did not. I fought with twin A for 8 weeks before allowing her to drink from bottles (we tried everything we could with help from a lac consultant, this baby knew how to nurse but was frustrated by the slow milk flow and thus REFUSED to nurse - she'd scream if you put a nipple near her face!). Baby B wanted to nurse, but couldn't do it well, so I also struggled for 8 - 10 weeks with SNS, pumping, etc. She eventually caught on, though, and nursed just fine.

If you have a support system - USE IT. DP and I have only one living parent between us, and my dad lives 800 miles away. We had very little help early on when we probably needed it the most. Fortunately, we did some things in advance. For example, I filled our deep freeze with spaghetti sauce, lasagne, meatloaf, and other meals while I was pregnant to save us some time and energy after the girls came.

Most of all, enjoy your babies. My heart swells with joy every time I think of my two together, playing and laughing. They are an incredible blessing.

Kelly
post #48 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by nepenthesea View Post
That's b.s.! I have twins, and I have never let them CIO. I have let them cry for a few minutes while I use the bathroom or bathe one, but not just let them cry themselves to sleep. I'm glad you found this thread, too
Funny, when I was expecting twins I was told I had to feed them every 3 hours and that I could not feed on demand. Ah they were wrong, I fed on demand without a hitch, except I did get mastitis for the first time, but got over it quick!
post #49 of 67
Yes they are a blessing!! My one twin came up to me this morning and said I need a bandaid for my sweetie, she has a booboo,(meaning her sister). They really have such a special bond.
post #50 of 67
I would advise you to get a small refrigerator for your bedroom if you sleep on a different floor from your kitchen. I pump and put my bottles in there as well as lots of drinks. Nursing 2 babies can really dehydrate you!
post #51 of 67
Bumping for our newest mama-to-be!

(and wondering if this would be a good sticky?)
post #52 of 67
Yes, this would be a fabulous sticky! I already saved it in my favorites... I've really enjoyed reading this.
post #53 of 67
Lots of wonderful suggestions on here already. The one that comes to my mind, is I wish someone had told me to consult with a lactation consultant before the birth, and to have her come to the hospital after the babies were born. I found the lactation consultants to be too busy to give me as much time as I needed, and too quick to assure me that I was doing fine (when there were actually major problems resulting from my very medical birth and the fact that I didn't even get to hold one of my babies until he was 24 hours old b/c he was in the NICU and I was on magnesium sulfate and unable to leave the recovery room till it wore off - it was awful). Also, the hospital LCs were far more conventional than I expected - very quick to recommend supplementing. The hospital staff in general, while theoretically supportive of bf'ing, were not nearly as proactive and helpful as I needed the people around me to be. They seemed to think that with twins I really shouldn't expect to exclusively breastfeed. :

I feel that if I had contacted an LC before birth and had set things up for her to come see me and the boys at the hospital, things would've gone far differently for me for bf'ing than they did.
post #54 of 67
1. Buy cases of bottled water and stash them whereever you tend to BF; you'll be too tired to go downstairs to get more water at 2AM.

2. Be prepared for a c-section, even if you have no reason to suspect you'll need one. My surprise section was extra ick just because I didn't know what was going on or what I could ask for (say, lowering the drape so I could see them born) because I was planning a natural birth.

3. Ignore advice from singleton mothers; they really don't have the same experience.

4. The best thing anyone said to me was a mother of teenage twin boys who said, "Oh, I wish I could do it all over again." And her kids were hellions! (Sweet hellions, but, I mean, they were 14-year-old boys )

Quote:
That's b.s.! I have twins, and I have never let them CIO. I have let them cry for a few minutes while I use the bathroom or bathe one, but not just let them cry themselves to sleep.
I have also managed to avoid CIO. Sometimes one will scream while I deal wiht the other (and one has a habit of shrieking while I feed his sister for about 2 minutes than falling asleep : ) but neither has ever been left to cry.
post #55 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by twins10705 View Post

I wish someone had prepared me for the NICU experience -- for staff who would discourage me from breastfeeding. I didn't know that I could say "no bottles"...I didn't know that I could demand to breastfeed my babies,
Diddo!

You do not have to let your babies get bottles if they end up in the NICU.
Bottles destroy breastfeeding when introduced so early on...and exclusive pumping is so much work...don't do it...just say no to bottles in the hospital...even if it means they get discharged a few days or a week later than those babies given bottles...one week longer in the NICU verses years of pumping would be so worth it....speaking from personal experience here!

My other words of wisdom... (my b/g twins turn 5 months today)
It does get easier! That early newborn phase is heavy, but a few months later you find the groove of caring for twins and it just becomes the norm. I do however, find it exhausting to try and get out of the house and to make it to mama/baby groups...though I desperately need that social time, so I just invite other mamas/babies over instead.

Also, you can have too many baby clothes! I honestly think dealing with the laundry was easier when they were preemies and had only 4 outfits and 4 onsies each than it is now when they have a gagillion outfits (all gifts & hand-me-downs). Don't feel you need to accept all the hand-me-downs people want to give you or you'll be drowing in baby clothes & blankets before you know it and feeling bad that some things didn't even get worn before they grew out of them!

I've recently started cloth diapering and it actually is fun and really easy to do with twins, even by washing them yourself...plus I'm finding you'll save a ton of $, even if you buy nice pocket dipes.

Oh, before the babies arrive, make sure you can get two carseats in your car that are rear facing! I had a Jetta and we absolutely could not get two carseats in the back seat and still have room for DH and I in the front seats. We had to get a new car

You can co-sleep with twins! It does work, even in a queen size bed, but a king is best. Our cribs are a waste of space and don't get used at all (though we used them the first few weeks after the NICU not realizing we could have a family bed...which we were told not to do by the NICU).

Most of all, twins are FUN! CONGRADULATIONS! DD looked right into DS's eyes the other day, gave him a big smile and a giggle, DH and I looked at eachother and tears came to our eyes. It truly is a priviledge to raise twins!
post #56 of 67
Although I agree that direct nursing is the best option and that exclusive pumping is very difficult, I just want people to know that it is an option. Direct nursing did not work for us (preemies, NICU, lack of support, whatever) and I was about to give up. I had many books on breastfeeding, but none of them really helped me. a mom of a singleton told me that she had EP'd for her daughter, and that is what made me realize I could do that and not have to give up and go to formula. I was able to pump for over 11 months and did not have to supplement with formula. It was not my first choice, but I feel that it is often overlooked as a choice preferable to formula feeding. I wish I had realized that sooner, so I could let go of the guilt for not being able to direct nurse and get on with parenting my babies.
post #57 of 67
my biggest piece of advice is to forgive yourself whatever you wish you'd done better/differently at the end of the day. you can't always respond as quickly as you'd like to each and every cry with two babies. you have to just do what you can. they know you love them and they are getting what they need from you so just be gentle with yourself when you don't live up to your own expectations.

i have to re-learn this all the time.
post #58 of 67
Nobody told me that when they got old enough to start interacting with each other, that I would become a complete and total puddle of mush. The other day Lilly was squeezing one of Kate's chubby thighs and giggling, and I thought I was going to explode from the cuteness. And this morning Kate was in our bed and Lilly was in her crib. I brought Lilly in when she woke up and the first thing she did when saw her sister was whip the binky (: ) out of her mouth, squeal, and hold it out for her sister to have a turn.

Seriously, the first few months are so hard. Especially if they are preemies. But oh my oh my, the joy they bring is absolutely immeasureable!
post #59 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stTimeMummytoLore View Post
my biggest piece of advice is to forgive yourself whatever you wish you'd done better/differently at the end of the day. you can't always respond as quickly as you'd like to each and every cry with two babies. you have to just do what you can. they know you love them and they are getting what they need from you so just be gentle with yourself when you don't live up to your own expectations.

i have to re-learn this all the time.
Totally agree with Kate, I don't do CIO, but my twins cry a lot more than I would like them to or that they would if they were singletons. I hate them crying and it makes me feel bad, but I also have three other children with needs and wants.
post #60 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
Nobody told me that when they got old enough to start interacting with each other, that I would become a complete and total puddle of mush. The other day Lilly was squeezing one of Kate's chubby thighs and giggling, and I thought I was going to explode from the cuteness. And this morning Kate was in our bed and Lilly was in her crib. I brought Lilly in when she woke up and the first thing she did when saw her sister was whip the binky (: ) out of her mouth, squeal, and hold it out for her sister to have a turn.

Seriously, the first few months are so hard. Especially if they are preemies. But oh my oh my, the joy they bring is absolutely immeasureable!
Ohhh I love their interactions too, I could spend half my day just watching them together. The first time they held hands while nursing was so sweet.
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