Well, I have a brother who is 2 years older. And although we get along now, we walk on tiptoe and don't talk about anything important. We fought like cats and dogs growing up. He hated me and never missed an opportunity to let me know that I was ugly and stupid. Consequently, his approval became the approval that I sought - my parents couldn't give me enough because I felt that if I didn't get love from my brother, Iwas not love-worthy.
As a consequence, I only want one. My brother now has 4 kids, but he purposely spaced them 4 years apart so that they wouldn't be in high school at the same time - I guess he only remembers the fights during that time, but it started WAY before that. And I am happy to report that, for the most part, his kids seem to care about each other and get along great. I've seen a couple things I didn't like, but not a lot.
I think my parents were largely at fault for our relationship - but I also honestly think that they did the best they could with what they knew and they honestly didn't know what to do. (I remember my dad pulling me aside when my brother had made me cry and saying "I saw that honey and Iwish I knew what to do about it." It comforted me at the time but now it makes me go "SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY SOME STUFF???" lol)
Anyway, when my mother died my brother came out at her memorial with all these negative memories of her. So, he has never been a comfort to me about that - I loved my mom dearly and it seems like we had very different relationships with her.
My husband has 3 sisters and they all get along pretty well at least now. He also is happy to just have 1, though he doesn't feel that way as a result of his sibs - I think it's just what he thinks he can emotionally handle and be a good parent. That's how I feel about it, too, ultimately.
I am NOT worried about the 'giving him/her a sibling" thing. Personally, I think that's wierd - like a sib is a pet or something. My hubby has a HUGE family & extended family in the area and baby bean will have a billion cousins to play with!
Margo & Bean, due 12/16