Could we get some clarification here regarding what this forum is for? - Page 4

[sunflowers]

Originally Posted by ksera05

I wish ours did too. When Sydney got really sick the last time around, we ended up going outside and sleeping in our car for awhile : There was just no where else for us to go - we lived far enough away we didn't feel comfortable leaving, but near enough that we didn't qualify for the Ronald McDonald house. Our nurse later found a couch that we could have hidden away on in a corner of the NICU but by that time we were comfortable with going home.

Our hospital had parent rooms available and it was wonderful to have that option! But I also had another child (adolescent) at home and had to be there to tend to his needs in the evening so I only used the rooms in the beginning and when dd was critical. They were pretty bare but so much better than a chair in the parent lounge!

[BundleFishMama]

Originally Posted by sunflowers

Our hospital had parent rooms available and it was wonderful to have that option! But I also had another child (adolescent) at home and had to be there to tend to his needs in the evening so I only used the rooms in the beginning and when dd was critical. They were pretty bare but so much better than a chair in the parent lounge!

Yeah, I totally realize how unbelievably fortunate I was to be able to stay the whole time with Andrew. To this day I am SO filled with gratitude for that, it's unbelievable. My heart broke for the mamas I got to know there who had to leave every night. Sometimes they would ask me to go over and sit with their babies for a couple minutes or talk to them during the night since they knew I'd be the only mama there the whole time. One of Andrew's neighbors had a little portable CD player next to his isolette and they'd ask me to put it on for him if the nurses got too busy & forgot because he really liked his Mozart or whatever it was!

The parents' room was so bare and lonely, no windows, kinda like a closet with a cot, but still, to me it was the Ritz-Carlton! All I needed was a place to shower and to crash for a couple hours now and then when Andrew was asleep. I know that's not the norm that we got to do that - we were so lucky. And if he had needed to be there for longer, it would have been different - but since we knew it was "only" going to be about 10 days, we were able to put our life sort of on hold for that long. DH flew home to watch our DDs and took the week off from work. They came to visit every day and brought me changes of clothes, magazines, snack food and bottles of water, etc. I even had him bring me toilet paper & paper towels for parents' room bathroom - I was so grateful for the use of that room that I was afraid to bother anyone on the NICU staff to ask for more! Anyway they told me that if another parent whose baby was worse off wanted the room I would have to share (there were two cots) or give it up, and of course that went without saying that I would have.

[intorainbowz]

Hi there, Nicu Mommy here.

I replied to her but my post was deleted. Oh well. It was a good post.

DD's history is in my siggy. We could not go to the brazelton classes I signed up for because I was on bed rest.

Anyway, I hope no one was offended by my post. I don't usually post like that. It was a toned down version as well.

EVERYONE makes choices in how they gestate, birth, and raise their children. No one method is better than another. I had more u/s than I can count to monitor DD, and that worked for us. Others make different choices.

Any way, hugs to the other NICU mommies.

[momtoalexsarah]

I would like to continue to post here, my DD was born at 35.5 week so not really very early and only spent 5 days in NICU. But that being said after having 2 full term babies(including my son having spent time in the PICU for Pruttussis at 8 weeks old). My DD is a whole different ball of wax then her siblings. Before I had her I knew nothing about developmental delays, or having to pump and feed(although she nurses now but we stuggled for 3 months to get there) I knew nothing about the suseptalblity to resperatry illness which is becoming quite an issue for us (she has had 5 colds since she was a month old- and had 3 emegency trips to the hospitaly for breathing treatments and O2).
I've learned alot here, my DD dosn't have major medical issues but it looks like she may have developmental issues that wern't anticipated when she was born. We didn't have the NICU in the OR for her birth, but they where called as soon as she arrived because the OB relized that she was not the 38weeker that they had though she was. (They had based my Due date on US not on what I had told them - I was right, they where wrong and 3 weeks means ALOT to a baby)That being said I did go into labor on my own and the c/s was preformed after 12 hours of labor(I'd had 2 pervoise c/s) Her apgars where 6 and 8 and she had wet lungs, premature lungs, temp control issues, apnea and feeding issues. She came home at a week(we spent 2 days rooming in after 5 in NICU) and on an apnea monitor and bottle feeding.

[boscopup]

My hospital didn't have any rooms for parents at the NICU, except a couple overnight rooms that you can practice in before discharge (although we were never offered that . We're the regional NICU for the entire northern part of the state, so some babies come from 2+ hours away via med flight. I felt really bad for their parents being that far away and not able to easily stay near their babies. When we got moved to PICU as an "overflow baby" (they had 11 sets of twins born in a week's timeframe, and that overloaded the NICU!), there were two other babies that got moved with us, and I never saw their parents. I know one baby that shared a room with DS for a while was one of those 2-hour-away types. Those poor parents. I'd love to see more rooming-in type options in NICUs - ie, having rooms for parents to stay, even if they aren't right next to baby the whole time. At least they could be at the hospital instead of driving from far away everyday. I was 45 minutes from our hospital, so the drive was doable, but I couldn't go home and come back for quiet time in the afternoon. Thankfully, my parents live near the hospital, so I hung out at my mom's house during that time, then went back to the hospital. DH worked just a couple blocks away, so he'd take my nightly pumped milk early in the morning (like 6:30am) and do DS's feed around that time, and then I'd show up a few hours later.

[fireant]

Wow, I missed a lot!

I guess I would just like to add that this place is my refuge, my safe haven. My DH and I don’t have people IRL that have BTDT so this place is where I can come and be accepted and understood without feeling negatively judged (see “The Preemie Excuse” thread for more).

Back when I had my DD (almost 5 months ago, yikes!) this sub-forum didn’t exist. It was quite a shock when Marlow was born six weeks early and I didn’t have any resources of support besides my DDC. I was lucky that I was in the June 2006 DDC where Amy, Sarah, Mimid, and BundleFishMama are members of too. They took great care of me (thank you guys!) I am very fortunate to have received so much support.

I believe that right around this time a big push was made to make this kind of support easily available to everyone. When this sub-forum was being planned I remember we wanted this to be a place of support and healing. Where people who want as much as they can to have a natural family/AP lifestyle with the hand that was dealt to them.

I was not able to hold my baby for days or breastfeed for about a week but I know the importance of these things (it’s why I’m a continued subscriber to this forum) and I was crushed that I couldn’t give these to my DD in her first moments of life. I desperately want what’s best for her and I will do anything in my power to give/get it to her. I need an outlet where I feel safe and loved and not made to feel guiltier than I what I give myself (or what my family gives me).

This is my sanctuary. I truly appreciate all the support and compassion given from this group and I hope that stays this way for other NICU moms. It would be sad if we lost such a wonderful environment.

Thank you

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom

Back when I had my DD (almost 5 months ago, yikes!) this sub-forum didn’t exist. It was quite a shock when Marlow was born six weeks early and I didn’t have any resources of support besides my DDC. I was lucky that I was in the June 2006 DDC where Amy, Sarah, Mimid, and BundleFishMama are members of too. They took great care of me (thank you guys!) I am very fortunate to have received so much support.


Thank you

No thank you! Its been almost 8 mos for me (gasp! time flys!)

You guys took care of me and kept my spirits alive! I posted a thread when Maggie was born and the well wishing from the ddc and others was overwelming but wonderful!
Our ddc was rather large and to have about 10% have early deliveries is right on target with what is happening nationally. This board also gets hundreds of new members weekly so the chances are, we will have more nicu parents coming on board. I am so glad we were able to get this place since we did not choose to be part of this, just like no one chose to be an abuse victim, survive loss, low milk supply etc. and they have areas to go to here as well.

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by Marlow's mom

I was lucky that I was in the June 2006 DDC where Amy, Sarah, Mimid, and BundleFishMama are members of too. They took great care of me (thank you guys!) I am very fortunate to have received so much support.

Thank you Lindsey (and all the other June '06 mamas!) for all the support here as well. The fact that I was able to come and get the support I needed, even though most of the mamas still had so much of their pregnancies left was a big help to me as well.

Hard to believe how far we've come! I'm sitting here with a 5 month old, probably around 15lb baby girl asleep on my lap, and her due-in-5 months brother kicking like crazy.

[intorainbowz]

I wish I had found this forum when DD was in the NICU. I love coming here. I hope I can help mommies going through this, and help them deal with what happened, as I deal with it as well. When I came, it was so nice to be able to be among others who have BTDT. Dh said last night, if you have not been there as a parent, you have no idea what this is like, and this applies to our families, parents, and friends.

[gossamer]

I thank you all for posting your stories to this thread. I agree, we do need a sticky and I will talk to Cynthia, Ms. Mom and Abimommy about the sticky and creating this as a non-debate board. ALthough I have not had a NICU baby, I did have a premature baby at 24 1/2 weeks who died within an hour. I am not unsympathetic to your concerns and I will address them this weekend hopefully. My son adn husband have had a pretty bad stomach flu and so we are recuperating from that. If there are any additional objectionable posts in this forum, please do not hesitate to use the report button. I think this thread has served it's purpose and I will be closing it now.
Gossamer