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bio dad vs. step dad - Page 2

post #21 of 34
It is the law in Arkansas and Montana for sure. I'm not sure about anywhere else. I know in South Carolina they can put the non custodial parent in jail for not paying child support only if the custodial parent persues it. My brother had that happen. I'm not sure about visitation in South Carolina though. It is also law in Arkansas and Montana that if the non custodial parent is incarcerated and will be for an extended amount of time (like 7 years or more) their parental rights can be stripped. The best thing to do would be check the Child Custody and Visitation laws for your particular state.
post #22 of 34
I thought I'd share this site with you guys. It has some good Q&A.

http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/visitfaq.php
post #23 of 34
I think TROLL, definitely...
post #24 of 34
In most states parental rights cannot be stripped merely for non-payment of support. That includes Arkansas, where I worked in the legal field for many, many years until recently. Contact can be defined very broadly by the courts, as in presents, a card or letter, phone calls to the child or custodial parent, etc. With no contact whatsoever after one year, you can file a motion with the court asking that the parental rights be terminated based on abandonment, but that is no guarantee that the court will order that. The dead beat parent may provide an excuse to the court that the court deems valid. Who knows. In most cases the Courts do not like to terminate parental rights other than as a last resort. As for being incarcerated - also not quite true. Many, many parents that are incarcerated, even for numerous years, do not have their rights terminated. A lot of people claim that they know it happens, because it happened to someone they knew, but unless you have access to all of the evidence in that particular case, on both sides, you just can't know what the real reasons were for that happening.

As for the original poster, troll or not, something just doesn't sound right. In reading it twice, it even seems as though sometimes the he's and she's are mixed up in a way that makes it not make sense.
post #25 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blender Mom View Post
In most states parental rights cannot be stripped merely for non-payment of support. That includes Arkansas, where I worked in the legal field for many, many years until recently. Contact can be defined very broadly by the courts, as in presents, a card or letter, phone calls to the child or custodial parent, etc. With no contact whatsoever after one year, you can file a motion with the court asking that the parental rights be terminated based on abandonment, but that is no guarantee that the court will order that. The dead beat parent may provide an excuse to the court that the court deems valid. Who knows. In most cases the Courts do not like to terminate parental rights other than as a last resort. As for being incarcerated - also not quite true. Many, many parents that are incarcerated, even for numerous years, do not have their rights terminated. A lot of people claim that they know it happens, because it happened to someone they knew, but unless you have access to all of the evidence in that particular case, on both sides, you just can't know what the real reasons were for that happening.

As for the original poster, troll or not, something just doesn't sound right. In reading it twice, it even seems as though sometimes the he's and she's are mixed up in a way that makes it not make sense.

Then explain why my divorce decree states that it is Arkansas law that if I have no contact with my child or do not pay child support for a period of one year that the custodial parent can petition to have my rights stripped from me at which time I will have 3 months to pay a substantial amount of the arrearages and prove I am making efforts to see my child? Please explain this to me.
post #26 of 34
post #27 of 34

I didn't see anything in there about not providing support for one year. It said it could be termintated for no support but there was no time line. As I understand it, if a parent isn't paying, but does occasionally send a card, that is contact and the rights won't be termintated.
post #28 of 34
Some of you are very stubborn. Do I really have to somehow scan my divorce decree and show you that it gives a timeline of 1 year? It's aweful when you know something is true and everyone else refuses to believe you. :

Here is a link to someone else's order. It shows the same thing but shows they must not miss visitation for 6 months.

http://www.arkleg.state.ar.us/ftproot/bills/2003/public/SB773.pdf#search='arkansas%20petition%20to%20termi nate%20parental%20rights%20non%20payment%201%20yea r'
post #29 of 34
Dh ex didnt pay support for over a year and not once was there talk of her rights being stripped. She still contacted them, still saw them. We didnt keep them from her for not paying and even if we wanted too, the courts wouldnt allow it. A child needs a relationship with their parent much more than support, IMO (and our court systems opinion)

From what else I've learned, theres lots of "rules" in place (legally), but never set in stone either. It seems to change for each situation.

I dont think anyone is being "stubborn", some of us disagree from own experience, or from reading the links, etc.
What may be true in your divorce decree may not be in someone elses, thats all.
post #30 of 34
The rules do vary HUGELY by state. I know that AZ has a provision that no CS for a year is a ground for term'ing rights, so is a lack of visitation (not both, either one can stand alone)
But here in WA, it's not. Here, you pretty much have to be a murderer or a child molestor to lose your rights.
post #31 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flor View Post
As I understand it, if a parent isn't paying, but does occasionally send a card, that is contact and the rights won't be termintated.
This is correct for my state. Also, if a parent has no contact with the child but does send the occasional child support, say once every 5 months or so or has their wages garnished (even if it's against their will) that counts as contact and rights won't be terminated.
post #32 of 34
Thread Starter 
no no no she is well now 7 MONTHS old. lol. and MILF was just a joke my boyfriend calls me. i didnt mean anything other than that. i didnt think CS and visits were linked. but i just want to know if there is a way to have my BF adopt my daughter between the time our DHS CINA case and district court. that way sence her bio dad will have no custody at all....i might be able to just have her adopted by my BF with no problem. or do i HAVE to get all his rights taken away first?:
post #33 of 34
For the mamas facing "oh, we'll take your rights away" I'd suggest you start getting the US to recognise the UN convention on the rights of the child. It lays down, VERY clearly, the fact that a child has a right to know both parents. No restrictions. It's also the best safeguard against DFS.

Rockstarsmama, an adoption will be at best problematic, at worst difficult. TBH, I wouldn't ever consider giving someone who had known me for such a short time any kind of rights over my kids- my dh got parental responsibility solely because of a health issue with ds2. If you're looking for advice, this is it. Just don't go there.
post #34 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flor View Post
If he is not physically hurting your daughter, or breaking any laws while he is with her, or severly hurting her emotionally, he needs to see her. She needs to decide for herself what he is or isn't. Your job is to support her emotionally and help her come to accept him for what he is or isn't. Every kids wants to know their bioparent even if they are loser, or abusive. You are lucky it's just once a week. And, you never know what might happen. My dh was hidden from his father as a child, and now that "loser" is a pretty nice, stable guy with a family, etc, and dh has NO relationship with him. Sure, we see him, but they have no real bond. Dh's mom regrets that.
edit: just noticed the missing word in orig post - months seems mopre plausible than years so removing my orig response.
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