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What's the funniest thing your child has said lately?

post #1 of 191
9/27/06 at 10:47am
Thread Starter 
This is an actual conversation between me and my 4-year-old yesterday evening.

Me (reading a Happy Meal box): Ariel's dream was to become human and live happily ever after with Prince Eric. What's your dream?

Chase: What do you mean?

Me: What do you want to do?

Chase: Right now?

Me: In life.

Chase: I don't know.

Me: What do you want to be?

Chase: All right. Now this is getting really lame.



Fill this thread up with funny kid quotes!

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post #2 of 191
9/27/06 at 11:18am
My little 3 year old Owen told me the other day that he has a baby in his belly and that the baby was having a bite of brocoli (which we were having for dinner). I was dying. I'm pregnant, so I guess he want's to be like mommy

Melanie
post #3 of 191
9/27/06 at 11:34am
Ds hasn't quite figured out the whole Mr., Mrs., Ms. thing. His teacher is Ms. Smith. He keeps calling her Mrs. Smith. I told him that she's not married, so she's not a Mrs. and he was like "let's just call her Smith". Ok then, eliminate the issue entirely.

We're in the middle of figuring out an upcoming move. I decided to talk to ds a bit about it and asked him where the best place in the world would be to move. We're from Chicago, our families, friends, everyting is in Chicago. We go there a few times a month to visit, we've been planning on moving back since we moved here 3 years ago. The correct answer is "Chicago". His answer? "Myrtle Beach, because it's so fun there!" "Well, if you couldn't move to Myrtle Beach, where would you want to move?" His answer, "well we could just stay here." Ok, thanks buddy, you are no help at all here and you're supposed to be excited about moving back home!!!
post #4 of 191
9/27/06 at 11:36am
I was nursing the baby, when my non-verbal almost-3 year old came up and kept handing me his sippy cup for more water. I kept saying "you have to wait, sweetie", "just a minute" etc. My daughter walked over and holding my leather-bound diary said, "according to my research, when someone is breastfeeding - you have to wait."
post #5 of 191
9/27/06 at 11:42am
My nearly 3 year old has a cold. Yesterday he sneezed and had an unpleasant surprise fly out of his nose and land on his lip. After making me wipe it off he looked at me and said with all seriousness, "I'm not having a very good day, am I Mom?"
post #6 of 191
9/27/06 at 12:56pm
My 5 year old son noticed that the city finally mowed the empty lot near our house the other day. He said "Oh, the jungle is gone. That's good because there were chicken pox in there". My husband and I were like "What"? and he said "You know, chicken pox that stick to your clothes". Ok, so he meant burrdocks. Got it. Then we were talking about chicken pox and the red dots you get and he says "Remember the time I ate horse shoes and got spots all over my body"? "Honey, I think you mean cashews". (He's allergic to them and got hives).

These kids never cease to crack me up.
post #7 of 191
9/27/06 at 1:06pm
My almost 4 year old has been very into babies and how one goes about getting some. She doesn't know were pregnant yet because I know there will be never-ending "where's the baby?!" interrogation. So that in itself is a little spooky.

Anyway, this was a recent conversation:

Her: How do you get a baby sister?

Me: You ask God.

Her: Oh. Remeber when we saw God yesterday?
post #8 of 191
9/27/06 at 1:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by supahero View Post
I was nursing the baby, when my non-verbal almost-3 year old came up and kept handing me his sippy cup for more water. I kept saying "you have to wait, sweetie", "just a minute" etc. My daughter walked over and holding my leather-bound diary said, "according to my research, when someone is breastfeeding - you have to wait."
Been watching MagicSchool bus lately??

Here is the best one from my 3 yo... taken from http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=525374

My 3 year old is wearing his winter toque around....he had put his little soccer ball, his light up ball and his red ball in the hat...then he put the whole hat in his pants..walked over to me holding the hat in his pants and said...

wait for it..















where are my balls

post #9 of 191
9/27/06 at 1:18pm
You know that advert on TV for "headOn" - with the "HeadOn, apply directly to forehead" ad infinitum? THe little ditty gots into my head, and the other night i was idly singing it and DS looks at me and says "Chocolate On - Apply directly to Drink!"


Also - the other day we were in the bank, and i was opening a new account. DS was playing rather happily with all the desk stuff but i could tell it was getting rather boring for him (and me as well) so while Mr. Bank Guy was filling out the computer screen i turned to DS and asked "Heya, D, what do we need to get at Target? can you help me with a list?" (he loves lists). He says, at full projection, straight-faced:

"Well first we need to go to the Poop aisle at Target, because we need poop for your butt. Your butt is out of poop and we have to get some more so that poop can come out of your butt"

I think we made Mr. Bank Guy's day
post #10 of 191
9/27/06 at 2:55pm
I was leaning back on the couch and my three-year-old son plopped down next to me.

Son (poking): Is this your breast?
Me: Yes.
Son: Is that your other breast?
Me: Yes. I have two breasts.
Son (poking my stomach): Is this your third breast?

Time to start the abs work, I guess.
post #11 of 191
9/27/06 at 2:57pm
i had made a comment to myself that " geez, if people don;'t want to have babies, there are ways to not get pregnant! but to just abandonthe baby... how crummy"

i was reading an email, and then just muttering to myself.
riley heard me.
it then leads to a big talk about HOW you can NOT have babies.

him: how do you not have babies? isn't the sperm just already in there from before?

me: no, it take new sperm each time you make a baby, mommies just don't have little sperm dispensers inside them.

him: oh, well then, thats really easy, just have the husband stop putting sperm in the vagina then



really, i thought i was going to crash the car( yes this conversation moved from the dining room to the car, for the drive to school)
post #12 of 191
9/27/06 at 3:01pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rileysmommy View Post
him: oh, well then, thats really easy, just have the husband stop putting sperm in the vagina then
It sounds so simple, doesn't it?

post #13 of 191
9/27/06 at 3:06pm
My 5 year old threw up for the first time, took one look at it and said "Eeeeew gross! I am SO out of here!" and ran ut of the room. yeah kid we know how you feel, try cleaning it up!!
post #14 of 191
9/27/06 at 3:25pm
I said something to my 4-year-old DS and he did not hear what I said.

DS: What did you say Mom?
Me: Nothing. Just talking to myself.
DS: Can you talk to yourself again? Say the same thing you just did!

post #15 of 191
9/27/06 at 3:37pm
I was in the bathroom and 4 yo dd was there with me.

dd: Mom, does your poop stink?
me: (laughing) sometimes!
dd: Papa's poop stinks!

(me, stifling laughter; dd, pause ....)

dd: Yesterday-a-long-time-ago, Papa pooped and I had to run away!
me: (guffaw)
dd: If you were a man, your poop would stink.
post #16 of 191
9/27/06 at 3:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by P-chan View Post
I was leaning back on the couch and my three-year-old son plopped down next to me.

Son (poking): Is this your breast?
Me: Yes.
Son: Is that your other breast?
Me: Yes. I have two breasts.
Son (poking my stomach): Is this your third breast?

Time to start the abs work, I guess.

And in our house, courtesy 22mo dd:

You know you're pregnant when the nursing toddler finishes both sides and decides to try latching on the the protruding bellybutton. (BTW, it tickles!)
post #17 of 191
9/27/06 at 5:35pm
My children have said some doozies!

Just the other day one of the younger ones was having a very loud emotional discussion with himself (aka: a tantrum ) in the middle of the kitchen floor impeading the way for anyone walking by. So I picked him up to move him 2 feet into the dinning room where he could finish his discussion with himself. I picked him up like he was a turtle because he was all balled up and all of the sudden he yells:

PUT. ME. DOWN! I am probably dangerous!
post #18 of 191
9/27/06 at 6:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by uberwench View Post
"Well first we need to go to the Poop aisle at Target, because we need poop for your butt. Your butt is out of poop and we have to get some more so that poop can come out of your butt"
post #19 of 191
9/27/06 at 8:10pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elyra View Post
PUT. ME. DOWN! I am probably dangerous!

This is too cute!!!
post #20 of 191
9/27/06 at 8:12pm
The other day DH and I were having a discussion and 2.5 yo DD pipes up:

Daddy's not too smart. :

Today I aked her if she took off her shoes because she preferred bare feet and she replied "They arent bears silly they are pigs"
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › The Childhood Years › What's the funniest thing your child has said lately?